Am I a bad mom if I don't breastfeed?

• 05-12-2009 2:49 PM

  Whitney3046229 Joined on 05-12-2009 Posts 1

  Am I a bad mom if I don't breastfeed? Reply Contact While I was pregnant, I really wanted to breastfeed and was really excited about it, and when she was born, she latched on right away and did great. But I had post partum depression really bad for a couple of weeks after I had my daughter and the sleepless nights really didn't help with that. She wanted to eat every 20 minutes, and I was the only one who could feed her, so I couldn't just hand her off to my husband, and it started to get really stressful for me and I felt bad that the breastfeeding wasn't a positive experience for my daughter and I. So, when she was a month old, I started to pump and put the breastmilk in bottles so I knew how much she was getting. Then we started to add a little formula to the bottles with the breastmilk. And then the pump broke! So we started her on just formula. And I really liked how things were going on just the formula. She was sleeping a long time at night, anybody could feed her, and I was feeling a lot better. My milk supply started to go down, so I just forgot about breastfeeding. But now I am afraid to tell anyone that I am not breastfeeding anymore and I don't want to go to the mommy and baby support group in my town because they are all breastfeeding advocates, and I don't want to be judged. There is so much pressure nowadays to breastfeed, and everyone always says breast is best! But If it is stressful for me, then it's not good for the baby, right? I was just wondering how many other mothers were formula feeding their babies too.

• 05-12-2009 3:25 PM

  In reply to

  chaela0200 Joined on 06-18-2008 Posts 36	Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't breastfeed? Reply Contact I formula feed all 4 of my babies and they came out fine. it is your decision and nobody elses. There are millions of women that formula feed thier babies. So just try to turn a blind eye to those who judge and just love on your happy, healthy, formula fed baby.

• 05-14-2009 12:18 PM

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  Adero3057365 Joined on 05-14-2009 Posts 5

  Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't breastfeed? Reply Contact I have 3. 2 boys and a girl. I breast fed all of them and my first started formula at 6 months. I'm currently breastfeeding my 3 month old boy and I absolutely love it (except for pumping). In the begining I had engorgement and wanted to quit but I am an advocate for breastfeeding. However this experience helped me to empathize with women who either didn't want to breastfeed or who for whatever reason simply couldn't. Do not allow yourself to feel bad or otherwise about your decision. Take comfort in knowing that we are all trying to do our best with raising our children and there are going to be more things to deal with as your child grows. Peace and continue to be the wonderful mom I know you are.

• 05-20-2009 4:37 AM

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  tsungie2923245 Joined on 05-07-2009 Posts 4

  Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't breastfeed? Reply Contact In the community i come from, its imperative that you breastfeed up to 18months. In fact traditionally, some would go as far as two and a half years particularly for boys and it is the mother in law who tells you when to wean your baby. You can imagine what stigma is related with breast feeding in my circumastance. I have however since realised that the world's opinion and traditions come far behind the intimacy that we have with our children. it is necessary to boldly identify what is best for baby and for you before considering who will grade you as a good or bad mum. our experiences and our children differ. I respect all women who do not breast feed for whatever reason because i believe that they took the decision to the comfort of their babies and families. cheer up my dear one, if you are not starving the little flower then you are still a brilliant mother.

• 05-24-2009 6:10 AM

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  Susan858205 Joined on 05-14-2008 Georgia Posts 119

  Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't breastfeed? Reply Contact I nursed my 1st for about 3 months and I hated it. No one tells you how hard it is going to be and it's tiring being the only one that can feed them. I started DD on formula at 6 weeks one bottle a day and slowly weaned her off so I wouldn't have to go through the pain of engorgement. She was so much happier and is a very healthy 3 yr old now. This time around I have been able to nurse DS and he is happy and growing. I still don't love nursing b/c I'm the only one that can do it but I am way more comfortable this time around. I know how everyone says it's better for them but my DD is smart and healthy. The only thing I like about it is it's free and I'm saving us a lot of money. I felt bad when I stopped BFing DD. I would say if you get judged by the women in your group for not BFing anymore than I would find another group. You ultimately have to do what is right for you and your baby and no one else knows what that is other than you. HTH!

• 07-05-2009 12:52 PM

  In reply to

  Heather3073442 Joined on 07-05-2009 Posts 2

  Re: Am I a bad mom if I don't breastfeed? Reply Contact Everyone always told me that I needed to breastfeed. But I am a single mother, and since my mom and sister were going to be helping me out, I wanted them to be able to have the enjoyment of feeding my son too! So I opted not to breastfeed, because I wasn't going to be the only one feeding him and I was planning on going back to work and going to school at the same time, and didn't feel that I would have time to pump. It was hard enough being a first time mother and a single parent all at the same time without trying to breastfeed at the same time. My pediatrician is a strong believer in breastfeeding and made sure that he let me know about it , and very politely told me that if I had any more kids that I needed to breastfeed. But it is always your decision as a mother to make whatever choice you think is right for you and your children.