Libido while breastfeeding?

• 06-22-2009 8:15 AM

  Carolyn2891887 Joined on 06-22-2009 Posts 4

  Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact My son is 8 months old and he breastfeeds with a little bit of solids once or twice a day, and he sleeps with me at night and feeds a few times a night. I haven't had a period since before I was pregnant, and I don't think I'm ovulating. My question is, does anyone else find that breastfeeding has killed their sex drive? I have been committed to breastfeeding, but my lack of sex drive is driving my husband crazy. And it won't just do to have sex with him even if I don't want it because he knows the difference and he doesn't want to do it unless I'm into it. I had the same issue back when I was on the pill. It took me almost 4 years to decide to get off the pill and see if that was causing my dryness and lack of libido, and sure enough it was. Maybe other women are different, but unless I have the hormones to ovulate, I don't have any libido. Will my libido return when I wean? Should I wean earlier than I planned to rescue my marriage? Help!

• 06-22-2009 1:19 PM

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  Lena751 Joined on 07-25-2008 St. Petersburg FL Posts 1,564

  Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact Honestly, it sounds like the sleeping arrangements might have something to do with it...co-sleeping is a great idea, don't get me wrong, but it tends to have that effect on a marriage. Our son sleeps in our room in his crib, but it kind of kills anything that may happen. But if you found that hormones were to blame the first time, it may be the problem now. You should ask your OB about that though. Have you tried anything to "help" the mood? Books, videos, lubes, that new KY for men and women? It might help a little. Good luck!

• 06-22-2009 7:59 PM

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  Renomnca Joined on 11-09-2007 Posts 1,497	Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact I just finished bf a month ago and let me tell you, it must have something to do with libido.  I was so uninterested in sex while bfding but now I feel like my libido is back!  I never would have tied the two together but I definitely think there is something to be said about it.

• 06-23-2009 10:15 AM

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  scarlet_willow Joined on 12-14-2007 James 23 July '08, Henry 26 Oct '09 Posts 728

  Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact I think they are tied too and it isn't necessarily caused by co-sleeping.  I BF my son until 9 months (I got pregnant when he was 7 mo old).  I even had my period for most of that time and I STILL wasn't into sex (and my son was in his own room part of that time).  I would of course humor my husband, but I never felt very into it myself.  It was very frustrating because I wanted to enjoy it, but my body wouldn't let me!  Now that I'm pregnant and have different hormones, it is totally different!  I definetely think there's something to BF and lack of sex drive.  Tell your husband you need LOTS of foreplay.

• 06-23-2009 2:34 PM

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  ~AmyJ~ Joined on 06-03-2008 OK-Addison 1-26-09 Posts 1,940	Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact my libido is a little different from BF but even when I am into it we haveto use lube my hormones just not the same

• 06-24-2009 1:30 PM

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  Amy2430771 Joined on 05-08-2009 Posts 51

  Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact I am with you. My libido is dead, and has been ever since the baby was born. I know it has something to do with BFing, because I asked my doctor and what she said made total sense. I am not religious, but she said "Isn't God amazing? Not only does he halt ovulation so that the risk goes down that you might get pregnant while BFing, but he also makes your body not want to do it in an effort to make sure that your baby who is nursing gets all he needs from you!" This makes sense, and it does make our bodies pretty amazing. That being said, it is driving me and my husband crazy. We have tried toys, lube etc. Nothing works. The difference between our situations is that my husband couldn't care less if I am "into" it or not, just asks that I at least let him do the deed at all. I try to fake it as much as possible though, just for his benefit!

• 06-25-2009 5:13 PM

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  lenalanimami Joined on 09-04-2006 Lena 12/9/06 &Parker 12/22/08 Posts 1,442	Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact im the complete opposite!....ive been bfing for 6 months now and dh and i have had some great times if you knwo what i mean..oh and usually i need lube but since  about 4 months ago...ive been fine without it

• 06-26-2009 12:44 AM

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  Nikki08 Joined on 06-08-2008 Posts 499

  Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact Amy2430771: I am with you. My libido is dead, and has been ever since the baby was born. I know it has something to do with BFing, because I asked my doctor and what she said made total sense. I am not religious, but she said "Isn't God amazing? Not only does he halt ovulation so that the risk goes down that you might get pregnant while BFing, but he also makes your body not want to do it in an effort to make sure that your baby who is nursing gets all he needs from you!" This makes sense, and it does make our bodies pretty amazing. That being said, it is driving me and my husband crazy. We have tried toys, lube etc. Nothing works. The difference between our situations is that my husband couldn't care less if I am "into" it or not, just asks that I at least let him do the deed at all. I try to fake it as much as possible though, just for his benefit! Ditto everything except the effort...I don't/can't even try.....

• 06-29-2009 8:55 PM

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  amanda2356919 Joined on 08-22-2007 Nor Cal Posts 8	Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact Pregnancy and Breastfeeding killed it. My son is 14 months old and still nurses a couple times a day- I started my peroid when he was 10 months. There is probably one or two days a month that I may be interested- but not like before. Poor husband!

• 07-14-2009 7:11 PM

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  northidahogurl Joined on 11-01-2007 Renae - Mommy to William 7/27/06 & Colin 8/07/08 Posts 747

  Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact I could have written this post!! My husband thinks it's all in my head. I'm so glad I'm not the only one experiencing this. In the 4 years that DH and I have been married, I've either been pregnant or breastfeeding. Pregnancy affects my libido too. There's only been 2 short months that I was neither pregnant or breastfeeding - not enough time to regulate my hormones. I'm starting to get VERY frustrated, as is my husband. It's been SO long that I've had no libido that it's going to be difficult to get back to where we used to be. It's definitely affected our marriage. *sigh*

• 07-14-2009 7:42 PM

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  Carolyn2891887 Joined on 06-22-2009 Posts 4

  Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact Oh, I feel for you! Out of my marriage of 5 years there have only been a few months where I wasn't on the pill, pregnant, or breastfeeding (all of which affected my libido). I am also glad I'm not the only one that's struggled with this. Hang in there! I guess we can take consolation in the fact that this is just a season of life that will pass. If only our husbands could understand that! northidahogurl: I could have written this post!! My husband thinks it's all in my head. I'm so glad I'm not the only one experiencing this. In the 4 years that DH and I have been married, I've either been pregnant or breastfeeding. Pregnancy affects my libido too. There's only been 2 short months that I was neither pregnant or breastfeeding - not enough time to regulate my hormones. I'm starting to get VERY frustrated, as is my husband. It's been SO long that I've had no libido that it's going to be difficult to get back to where we used to be. It's definitely affected our marriage. *sigh*

• 07-16-2009 12:37 PM

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  ChristieBFAP Joined on 02-09-2004 www.SweetPeaRingSlings.com Posts 1,429	Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact  bf'ing does affect it.  Its totally naturally.... if you think about it, your body is currently feeding a baby so it does not want to make another baby so your drive drops.  Its all hormonal.  Try to reassure your husband that you too will be married long after the kids are gone.  :)  A little tequila helps too.  lol

• 07-18-2009 7:05 PM

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  Angela2495207 Joined on 01-01-2008 Alex 07/03/08 William 03/20/05 Posts 149

  Re: Libido while breastfeeding? Reply Contact  Have you had your homone levels checked? Some women produce more testosterone than progesterone.  I experienced this and was treated for it when I was younger.  Boy did that up my libido.  I have been with my dh for 6 yrs now and just recently (like in the last month) have I gotten to where I feel normal.  This was also due to bf for 8 months, pregnant for 9 and then well, depression before that.. I am now on the BC patch and I think it's leveled mine out.. Good luck and I know foreplay helps lots, alcohol just puts me to sleep..  Ha ha.. DH and I just really wait out the first 8 months if we are able to and have done it w/both our pregnancy/kids. dtd occasionally but the stress of kids puts a damper on time alone- co sleeping, bf, night wake ups, exhaustion wears you down. Have you had any time alone w/your dh? to kinda rekindle YOUR relationship? that helps too