Where did I go wrong?

• 08-17-2009 7:47 AM

  KelodyMelody Joined on 02-08-2006 UK Posts 99

  Where did I go wrong? Reply Contact Hey, I havent been here for along time (probably about a year, it's changed ALOT! anyway... ) I have a 2 year old son and i've always practiced attatchment parenting, even though I had severe PPD - since day 1 he was constantly with me, I had a sling and carried him everywhere, my back killed me - but it was best for him. I breast fed for nearly 2 years, I was miserable, I got told I was doing it right but it hurt me for the first 6ish month and after the pain stopped the drudgery of having to do it kicked-in. I parented him to the standards set by the sears family, I was firm but never shouted, I never smacked. Never let him 'cry it out', we co-slept. I have been a GOOD mother. So why is he so naughty now? I absolutely love him to peices but he's so unruley lol He does'nt listen to a singleword I say, and I mean at all. I will be stood next to him and he will completely ignore me most of the time, or i'll be telling him to put something down and he will just laugh at me, I'll ask him to eat his dinner before desert and he will SCREAM the house down like he's being killed. If I take anything from him he will get so angry and throw himself on the floor and scream. But he listens to my mother 99% of the time. I'm trying really hard. After everything I went through to keep myself calm and being firm and trying to create a bond with him, he's literally laughing in my face. I don't know why. I could have done what most parents do and leave him crying and smack him when he's naughty - knowing full well it would make him behave, but long-term I thought it would be better if he had a deep-bond with me and behaved out of respect instead of out of fear. But no, I honestly don't know what to do - he does'nt respect me at all. Though he is SUCH a nice person, he genuinely is such a great little guy. But if someone cares to tell me where I went wrong, i'd appreciate it lol thanks Kelly

• 08-17-2009 8:09 AM

  In reply to

  Lena751 Joined on 07-25-2008 St. Petersburg FL Posts 1,559	Re: Where did I go wrong? Reply Contact Well, he is 2! He is probably just testing his boundaries to see what you will tolerate. What do you do to disipline him?

• 08-19-2009 10:52 AM

  In reply to

  Mama2TMan Joined on 11-18-2007 Posts 38

  Re: Where did I go wrong? Reply Contact You didn't go wrong, 2 year olds just can't communicate well yet! He is probably testing his boundaries a bit to see what is acceptable or not.  My 14 month old laughs at me too when I tell him no-no to getting into the trash or whatever else he has found. He even mimics me points at it and says no-no.  The fits are because he can't have a conversation with you about how he wants to play with whatever or eat whatever.  I have found that children respond pretty well to explanations of things. That's how they learn to communicate themselves.  For example instead of taking something away and him screaming try holding out your hand and saying "can mommy have that?" and "oh thank you" if he hands it over.  Or you could just say " okay, lets eat dinner so we can eat dessert later." Obviously if he got into something dangerous speed is more important than his feelings! Also at two the best way to "discipline" is still redirection (distracting them).  Take them into a different area away from whatever they are getting into.  I do not believe in spanking, or time out at this age since they don't exactly understand either one.  After a while they know that if they mess with whatever then they are going to have to go somewhere else. He may be trying to tell you that he does not need you as much now, trying to be his own little person by being defiant.  I hope this helps and makes some sense to you.