Husband looks at other women on the internet

• 02-06-2008 6:10 PM

  Husband looks at other women on the internet Mark as Not AnswerMark as Answer... Reply Contact I am wondering how other women out there feel about thier husbands looking at other women on the internet. I will admit I am a snoop however it is not always hidden. The other day he was watching tv and searching the internet and plugged in an actresses name into google image search which of course came up with her nude picture. Other times, it is clear that he clears the internet histoy. Although I he doesn't watch pornography (at least when I am here) and doesn't seem to look up XXX stuff, I find it insulting in general that he isn't looking at my body instead. In the past he looked at sites that I was furious about but he hasn't done that level, at least that I've seen in over three years. Are pictures of an acress on google images a problem or am I overreacting. Of course, I am pregnant and he does NOT want to have sex with me either.

• 02-06-2008 7:17 PM

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  MommaCat Joined on 11-09-2007 KS Posts 131

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact Why doesn't he want to have sex with you?  That right there is my biggest concern for you.  I personally don't think it's right for a husband to lust after other women - in person or otherwise.  If it bothers you, then you have every right to say something.  Some women don't have a problem with it.  It's just personal preference and what each person is comfortable with.  There is NO reason why your husband should be less attracted to you while you are pregnant. You are still the same person he fell in love with.  And now you are doing one of the most loving acts you could ever do for him - carrying his child!  According to my husband, there isn't much that is sexier than that.  Good luck you you in whatever you decide.  At the very least, encourage honesty from him - why is he deleting the history?  Hmmm...

• 02-06-2008 7:25 PM

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  vanessa2352580 Joined on 08-19-2007 Posts 2

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact i had the problem early this month, i was one unhappy pregnant woman, i had every emotion in the book mostly hurt beacaues i would of help him out in that deptment. when i calmed down i started scenond guessing myself if i was to emotional, so i told him not to do it while im pregnant and after i would rethink the whole thing. \\ps i hate it!!!!! if i could retouch my body and face to hide all my flaws like them it would be a different story.

• 02-08-2008 6:40 AM

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  angel2665015 Joined on 02-07-2008 dayton ohio Posts 53

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact men are men they do find different women attractive and doesnt mean ur any less attractive mybe he has a fetish he scared to tell u or something i mean being openmonded and asking him couldnt hurt i mean we as women ask them all the time to bare with us change this would it hurt for u to do the same for him i watch porn and everything with mine i may not necessarily like it but thats wat excites him and we have amazing sex afterward! plus porn gives great sex tips lol i hope everything works out just dont scare him into hiding things from u let him know u love him and u would do anything for him and u want to satisfy his needs! they r like women sometimes they need that sensitivity to open up!

• 02-08-2008 6:57 AM

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  Cecilia0909 Joined on 11-24-2007 Ohio Posts 1,504

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact I also agree that your husband should not be lusting after other women on the internet. Does he seem to get excited by looking at them? And there is no reason why he shouldn't want to have sex with you while pregnant. I think it also comes down to a respect thing, it is very disrespectful that he makes you feel the way he does. I also do not buy the men will be men type of thing....if he makes you feel insulted, then there is something wrong and it needs to be addressed.

• 02-08-2008 7:06 AM

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  lelizabethm Joined on 08-18-2007 *Owen Michael* Posts 220

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact Sorry for jumping in here but I think it is incredibly wrong for him to lust over any woman whether it is in person, internet or phone, etc. I believe that infidelity is more than a physical act. If he is lusting over someone else than that is WRONG. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. My heart goes out to you. You don't deserve that. I guess some people are okay with this but in my marriage it is not acceptable. If it bothers you than he should not do it. I agree with the pp that carrying his child is the most beautiful thing you could do for him. If he doesn't find you attractive and is looking at other women than there is a serious problem. Please don't sell yourself short. Don't put up with this if you don't want to. Don't let anyone tell you it's not a big deal. It is a huge deal. Good luck! I hope he stops what he's doing. ((hugs))

• 02-08-2008 8:06 AM

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  jolene2452571 Joined on 10-26-2007 Posts 101

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact hell no, that is not ok in my book. i believe that if you are in love or married then thats the only person you should be looking at in that way. i'm not controlling, but i would never allow that. if its porn, tv shows, google images, whatever thats wrong. and my husband is fine with that. and he really does make me feel that im the only one he cares about and lusts after. we both have each other's passwords to everything which makes it alot eaiser to trust each other. even though he isn't looking up porn its still kind of werid. like maybe he has a crush on them or something. i would def. never watch porn with my husband. that justs tells him that its ok for him to look at women naked. if he really cares then he will stop for you. if it makes you uncomfy then he should have respect for you and stop. i mean how would he feel if you were looking up guys. he might not admit it but he would hate it. just don't do anything that makes you feel umcomfy. good luck honey.

• 02-24-2008 8:04 PM

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  twilightfaery Joined on 01-29-2008 Florida Posts 54

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact I don't know what to say. Before my fiance passed, he liked to look at porn, but it never bothered me because I was the one in bed with him, not the women he looked at. Have you tried maybe joining him sometime? Sometimes it can add a little spice. Just remember, there's nothing wrong with looking, as long as you're the one he wants to be with. Do you trust him enough to let it slide, or is this something that's going to hurt you marriage if he doesn't stop.

• 03-03-2008 1:13 PM

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  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Mark as Not AnswerMark as Answer... Reply Contact You have it well hun... My husband actually looks up porn and I had my son in october of o6'... One night I walked out of the bedroom to go to the bathroom and he was getting off to some porno that he hid on his computer and looked at me and said hes busy and i went back to bed. he came in a little while later tell me that he thinks that its fine cause its not as messy as sex is and that he loves me and me only.. if he loves me only... he doesnt need anyone else to look at... i am also 20 this year... i know he is discusted with my body as much as i am.. but i dont feel that is right for your husband to do what he is doing... I would rather in a way be in your position.. i rather catch him seeing a nude pic than a sex video...

• 03-07-2008 1:17 PM

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  pretty enough Joined on 03-14-2006 manassas, virginia Posts 171

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact the only issue that i have with my boyfriend is that he tends to hide it from me. he'll be in the bedroom looking at something and the second i walk in click out of it. its not something him and i could share, b/c for him, its all about fantasy..so if i was watching it with him, etc it wouldnt be this amazingly arousing thing anymore. its hard for me b/c i naturally have low self esteem :-\ but i reeeally try to let it go and i told him that if hes gonna do it in the house, then do it when im totally not around or even in the place. thats respect for ME. the worst part is that i too watch porn sometimes..he doesnt mind but he knows about it, i dont hide it. we've just recently gotten more into sex toys and i think it makes me more comfortable that he watches a stupid clip of a movie and im actually using something that almost looks and feels like the real thing. so maybe its about exploring yourself too? theres a big difference between fantasy and reality. im pregnant, about 6 months now and as much as i want to have sex all the time, and he doesnt, i still know that im the one actually coming in contact with his body..not them. in reality, he wouldnt want to be in a relationship with a fantasy girl b/c then it just wouldnt be the same. they are 2 totally different things and 2 totally different kind of women. im a really sexual person myself, and i hate that it bothers me and i get jealous when he explores his own sexuality. but we're women. we're sensitive..and we're pregnant. what can i say. through being pregnant once before this, ive really gotten attached to more intimate moments other than just pure sex. laying with him naked, loving him, etc. its really fullfilled my own need even sexually and ive become more careless about his porn watching and in return i really think that makes him more attracted to me..

• 03-07-2008 7:32 PM

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  ashley2439360 Joined on 10-20-2007 North Dakota Posts 38

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact Well, I have a similar situation.. I am now 26 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend(the father) has.. also looked at other women, and a couple times I have found pictures on his computer of girls in their underwear... and once when we were at this buffalo wing place.. kind of like hooders.. well the girls wore short shorts and one was behind me and he looked at her butt! I caught him! I told him how i felt about it.. but.. I never really took it so hard i wasn't worried he didnt want me anymore, because now more than ever he is always wanting to be sexual with me, and telling me my body is sooo amazing, like its so much i get anoyyed! But i love it. So maybe you should just try telling him how you feel and if he doesnt change and if you notice still he doesnt seem to have interest in you, I think you should consider asking him about cheating. When a woman is pregnant.. the man should see the girl more than what he did before, you have his child in you, you are carrying that child and he is there to watch your baby grow inside you, and sees you totally different, in a good way.

• 04-24-2008 7:41 PM

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  DScully92 Joined on 02-09-2006 Posts 189

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact My husband still wanted to have sex with me, but he was watching porn and everything, which he knew before we ever got married was a no-no.  And he tried to hide it, but i could tell there was something wrong and he was lying to me, so i dug, it wasn't hard to find.  It happened 2 times that I caught, after the second time I said I was leaving, he said he'd do anything for me to stay.  HE came up with the agreement of no computer access, no internet access and no credit card access.  It's been 2 years since then, and everything has been great.  If its something you really don't agree with put your foot down.  Now the whole not wanting to sleep with you thing, some men get weirded out by you being pregnant (not mine lol) or sometimes its because they are doing things they shouldn't behind your back.  Good luck!!  PM me if you need to.

• 05-23-2008 6:36 AM

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  bluetinkerpixie Joined on 07-29-2006 pinellas park, fl Posts 15

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact i would not put up with that bull crap. my ex did that to me all the time after i had my first son, because i didnt lose the weight right away. and it was very hurtful to me and when he wanted to have sex with me i would just remember what he did and i would be too upset to do anything. he would hide it from me all the time and he signed up for porn sights and watched videos when i was sleeping and come to bed all excited and he would try to have sex with me. i thought it was cause he wanted me until after we were finished i would get a drink and the computer would be on or the tv would be on with the xxx stuff on it. i was very hurt. it made me feel like i wasnt sexy enough anymore and it really hurt me alot. but now im with a guy who has been to strip clubs and watched xxx movies before we were together and he loves my body. he loves everything about my body and he said he would never step foot into another strip club again and watch any xxx movies as long as he had me. =] now im not skinny at all but im not obese plus i am pregnant again and still had 30lbs left over from my fist pregnancy. i think your husband is looking at you in the wrong way. you should talk to him and if you want to catch him in the act, but hes clearing the history download this program its called red pill spy . just google it and it will give you a free download, but it works wonders, then you should talk to him and explain how you feel. ask him if he would hurt if you were looking at nude guys on the internet instead of going to him and i that should get him thinking. thats how i got it across to my ex.

• 05-29-2008 1:21 PM

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  CDMelty Joined on 12-27-2007 Illinois Posts 875

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact  Porn is just a fantasy, and I really think that if women worry about every fantasy their husband's might have then they're setting themselves up for paranoia and disappointment.  I know my husband has porn on his computer and he also has his Hollywood crushes, as do I.  I like Bruce Campbell, DH likes Halle Berry.  All the experts say that fantasy is normal and gives people, especially men, the variety they crave. Maybe you should try to fatasize guilt-free yourself.  Start with impossible fantasies, like young Paul McCartney, someone you can't feel guilty about because they don't even exist, let alone travel in your circle.  But it seems extreme to get upset about DH wanting to see an actress naked. If he felt he had to deprive himself of even appreciating beauty, I think a man would likely decide it wasn't worth it after a while and just bail.  I mean, if he's gonna feel guilty or get in trouble for looking at a naked picture, he might as well go do the deed.  That said, I would wonder why your husband isn't wanting sex with you.  The combination of looking at women online and NOT letting you know that you're the sexy woman he wants to be with in real life, isn't good.  Maybe you could explain to him that although it may be true that a really secure woman would have no problem with the occasional XXX pictures, that by leading you to believe he finds you less than irresistable he is NOT helping you to be incredibly secure.  Let him know that some of your insecurities might rest on his shoulders.  I know that part of the reason I have no problem with my DH watching porn is because he lets me know how sexy he thinks I am, whether I may believe it all the time or not.

• 05-29-2008 5:34 PM

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  tyra-1stbaby08 Joined on 05-29-2008 Posts 2

  Re: Husband looks at other women on the internet Reply Contact i think that you should think about what your true feelings are to the situation and let your husband know your feelings you shouldn't go to extremes either way just talk it out and if he doesn't want to change and you don't want to compromise then that is something you will have to deal with at that time as far as him not wanting any sex from you my boyfriend did the same thing and now he's over it he got scared for the baby at first it probably has nothing to do with your body good luck and just talk it out before u do anything extreme i hope it works out for the best.