Facing a decision that i never wanted to make..

• 05-15-2008 2:10 PM

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  michelle2858558 Joined on 05-15-2008 Posts 1

  Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Reply Contact I would like to give my opinion. I would not give my child up for adoption for any man. Things will not get better if you keep your baby or if you don't. They will seem ok for a while but in the long run it won't work. He will not be supportive if you start to show regret for giving up the baby and you will feel very alone. If he has a problem with the baby and the other guy then so be it. I have been with my boyfriend for 12 years and we went threw some rough times. I never had a child with another man but for years I don't think it would have mattered if I did. We still fight over the other guy, although he cheated and has another kid with another girl. I am still always in the wrong and made to believe I am the garbage. I sure wouldn't give up a baby knowing what I know now about relationships and men with their jealousy. Trust me!! In the long run you if you two weren't going to make it then you won't but if you do you will weather you keep the child or not. Anyone who gives you a choice like that is ONLY SEEKING CONTROL!!!!! Don't feel bad. you know you want to keep the baby, keep it!!!! I know it's hard because you have to live with this everyday but take advice from women who have been threw a bunch of crap from no good men. Once those kind of problems start, they will never go away. A child is not a problem and won't go away either unless you send them away. Men cheat, leave, abuse and are complete control freaks. Children will never do this to you.

• 07-04-2008 12:58 PM

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  Deon2682 Joined on 03-23-2008 Flagstaff, AZ Posts 253

  Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Reply Contact i just have to say-vesectomies are not fool proof-have you considered a paternity test JUST IN CASE it is his baby?  What if you end up giving away a beautiful girl that does belong to both of you?  I agree, most LIKELY it is not his child, but what if it is...has he even considered this?  The only birth control that is fail proof is abstinence...so having a vesectomy does not totally rule him out as father...

• 07-04-2008 1:15 PM

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  QueenofChaos Joined on 11-13-2003 Where the Wild Things Are Posts 442

  Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Reply Contact If you know you are attached to your baby already and do not have the inclination to adopt her out, then don't do it.  My 1st marriage I had an abortion because my husband did not want the baby (we had one already) and made it clear it was the marriage or the child.  I couldn't fathom losing him and what it would do to the child we already had.  BUT I wanted the baby and was extremely upset at the thought of giving him/her up.  I caved in and did it and it was one of the worst mistakes of my life.  6 mths down the road come to find out he was cheating on me, and even tho I tried really hard to make it work, he was bent on being a dog, so that was the end of that.  I wish I had never chosen him over the baby.  If the guy is worth keeping, then he will be understanding and mature enough to deal with you two keeping the child.  PERIOD. I hope whatever you decide gives you peace.

• 07-04-2008 1:30 PM

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  ange + 4 Joined on 06-05-2008 Posts 41

  Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Reply Contact hey good luck in your decision, at this point only you can make it, but no matter what it is one you have to live with the rest of your life, are you going to be able to hand the baby off to someone else and than in 18 or so years when she tracks you down tell her why? i couldnt, will you be happy if you do this? will your kids understand? they have to know your pregant. i think you have to ask the simple questions and follow your heart. if he loves you he will stay and be a happy family, maybe ask your girls what they think? they are the family you will have forever no matter what happens. good luck

• 08-17-2008 8:55 AM

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  Melly~Luke n Gavin Joined on 11-20-2004 2 boys and 1 girl. We're beyond blessed! Posts 992	Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Reply Contact You're willing to give up your baby for a man who left you once already to be with another woman? Think that through...... If it happened once, you can almost guarentee it will happen again. And there you will be, left without your boyfriend OR your daughter.

• 09-04-2008 12:31 PM

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  Tiffany71387 Joined on 01-03-2007 I luv Erica & Elizabeth Posts 4

  Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Reply Contact I KNOW THIS POST IS LATE BUT I HOPE U KEPT THE BABY IF THE FATHER LOVES U HE WOULD UNDERSTAND HOW U COULDNT GIVE UP UR CHILD EVEN IF IT ISNT HIS AND SHOULDNT IT BE THE OTHER GUYS DECISION IF U DIDNT WANT TO KEEP IT MAYBE HE WOULD AND IF HE ENDED UP LEAVEN U AND U KEPT THE BABY U CANT STAY W/ SUM-1 AND BE UNHAPPY FOR UR KIDS I KNO U LOVE THEM BUT U GUTTA THINK OF URSELF ALSO

• 09-04-2008 12:32 PM

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  Tiffany71387 Joined on 01-03-2007 I luv Erica & Elizabeth Posts 4	Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Reply Contact THAT IS SO TRUE CUZ SUMTYMES IT CAN REVERSE I KNEW SUM-1 WHO HAD A VESECTOMY AND HAD A CHILD

• 09-14-2008 8:39 AM

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  Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Mark as Not AnswerMark as Answer... Reply Contact Ok thats not that baby fault that things happened that way.So basically your going to carry this baby for 9months and then deliver this baby hold her and then put her up for adoption just because the man of your other two children wants you to do so.So how do you look at your 2 and 3 year old and then even think about putting the unborn of your up for adoption just because its from another guy that you were sleeping with thats not the babys fault that baby didnt ask to be brought you brought it here. you should have thought about what the father of your 2 children was going to think before you went and slept with another man and got pregnant.You know some of yall make me sick .

• 09-14-2008 9:11 AM

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  Aubrie'sMommy Joined on 01-08-2008 Posts 845

  Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Reply Contact Jessica2464989: You know some of yall make me sick .     You know.. this is a pretty old post. But I'm sure negativity like this isn't helping the poor lady that came here for support/comfort/advice. I'm pretty sure PW isn't about making Mommy's feel bad for how they are feeling. Think about it. Do you really think you helped her at all by being so negative and vicious... probably not.

• 10-12-2008 7:15 PM

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  PreggoVixon Joined on 08-24-2008 *~Kaitlynn Born 11-24-08 / KENZI'S BDAY 8/05/05~* Posts 624

  Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Reply Contact A friend of mine, whom is in her 30's, has 3 children. 2 of those are her husbands. About 11 years ago, her husband and her were going through a rough time and she also found herself in the arms of another man. Well, she ended up keeping the child. The father isn't in her life. But her husband, though it was hard, ended up accepting the child as his own. The child is now 10 years old, and they are all very happy. I want you  to know that other people have gone through this. And sometimes people make mistakes. And it is never the childs fault. But you also are right. You have to do what is best for this child. If you choose to be with your man, and you think it will not be a good enviroment for the baby, I praise for finding a home for him, that would love and cherise him. I wish u look. but please make sure this is a decsion u will not regret.

• 10-17-2008 10:18 AM

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  chillitai Joined on 05-13-2008 Posts 2

  Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Reply Contact You should never let any one make a decision for you. And if a man gives you an altermatum like that, you should cut him loose! How dare he! You are not even married. We as women control our own bodies. You may love your boyfriend but the question is, does he really love you! My God! My brother is going through something similar with his girlfriend. I even told him, since you ain't married you don't have a say about what she does with her body. Remember my sister, Blood is thicker than water. If he was hitting you, would you question it and stay? I loved my first unfaithful husband and I still asked for a divorce. I love my second husband even more. You did not make a mistake. You created a life. The mistake, is your boyfriend. If you do give up the child, let it be for a better reason than this. Your children are a part of you. You deserve better.

• 12-16-2008 1:40 AM

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  TeamHeed Joined on 11-11-2008 New Hampshire Posts 138	Re: Facing a decision that i never wanted to make.. Reply Contact Re: anonymous poster Hello ignorant! First of all your grammer is at the very leat laughable! Secondly this is not the type of board for your negativity! This woman is looking for support, take your comments somewhere else. Lastly, if you feel so strongly why is it you post as anonymous!