Attitudes that have me bitting my lip hard!

• 05-27-2008 7:11 AM

  Cass080608 Joined on 04-25-2008 Posts 6

  Attitudes that have me bitting my lip hard! Reply Contact This is probably going to sound like me being slightly over sensetive, but my partner said he noticed it too. The attitudes of some of the hospital staff in my city are absolutly infuriating! I live in Hobart, Tasmania (that little spot down the bottom of Oz. Not much but we like to call it home), and the public hospital here deals a lot with underage pregnancy and such and I know that must colour their perceptions quite a bit, but I'm 23! My partner and I are paying of our own home, we both work good jobs... but still every couple of weeks I go into that hospital and it's like I'm an illitarate yobbo who's going to bring another uneducated and underprivalleged child into the world! It's starting to make me really cross! It doesn't help I guess that I do have a very babyish face - you know the type, completely round, fairly short, still being asked for ID everywhere I go. Still, it's right there in my medical file. Is it a common conception now that 23 is to young to have a child maybe? I have no idea. Has anyone else encountered anything like this?

• 05-29-2008 10:12 PM

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  Jackie1981 Joined on 04-03-2008 Salina KS Posts 43

  Re: Attitudes that have me bitting my lip hard! Reply Contact Not at all...23 is a common age to start a family. However, I do believe a lot of ppl are waiting longer (mid 30's) to start a family. My dh and I had our first child when I was 17 and he was 21...second child ages 19 and 23...third child ages 22 and 26...fourth child 24 and 28. I believe with each one I felt the same as you...as though ppl looked "down" at me like what are you thinking at your age having a(nother) child. Especially when I would take all my kids w/ me shopping and I get looks like...is that the mom or the babysitter?!! ( then see the surprise in their faces when that answer gets answered by my kids calling me "mom"...lol!) I used to worry about what ppl thought...me having so many kids and being so young myself...but I have grown to realize...it doesn't matter what they think...what matters is how I care for my children. I am now 26 pregnant w/#5. My dh and I have bought a house and own two vehicles. I am a stay at home mom, my dh does his own painting business. For a couple who started a family so young ...I must say I am proud of us. We have been together 13 years!! My advice to you is focus your energy on you and your feelings about your blessing...who cares what others think. You are about to experience motherhood...enjoy the moment you are entitled to no matter what your age!!!

• 07-05-2008 8:52 AM

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  Deon2682 Joined on 03-23-2008 Flagstaff, AZ Posts 253

  Re: Attitudes that have me bitting my lip hard! Reply Contact  good for both of you, by the way-it sounds like you are living your lives happilly, and that's what matters most.  I am closer to thirty than 20, and am having my first, and I still get those looks.  My husband and I have been married 3 years, together 6, and when we got married people thought we were too young.  He has a good job, and I am finishing my master's degree. It is true that what matters is how you feel and what you know about yourself and your life.  Personally, if my doctors were acting or talking down to me, I would say something, politely, but pointedly.  The alst thing you need are people giving you attitude that are supposed to be there to help and support you through your pregnancy. Good luck and congrats on the little miracles!

• 07-09-2008 12:18 AM

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  Sara2938139 Joined on 07-03-2008 Posts 627

  Re: Attitudes that have me bitting my lip hard! Reply Contact Honestly,t his day in age, it seems like people are just flat judgmental. It seems like someone is gonna look at you wrong no matter what your age, how many children you have or what kind of income you bring in. I'm on #4, and I own my own house, we aren't wealthy, but we do well enough that I can afford to stay home with my children, and I am 27 and DH is 30, and yet I still get the eyeball, and I'm not even showing...  When my best friend got pregnant with her third, she took her two children with her into the dollar store to buy a pregnancy test, and the lady behind her had the nerve to say "like you need another" my friend looked at her and said "and it's your business why?" Her DH is a truck driver and makes a very good income for his family. I think the whole world just needs to learn to mind their own business. Rich or poor, young or old, none of that really matters when it comes to being a good parent. All you need is love and the willingness to do anything for your child.  As my Dr said when I was talking to him about wanting another "If you want to be broke with a house full of kids that's your business".  What matters is that you take care of them, not how old you are. fedding and clothing them doesn't mean they have to wear Gucci either lol.

• 07-09-2008 4:33 AM

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  Tawnya2915193 Joined on 06-19-2008 Posts 4

  Re: Attitudes that have me bitting my lip hard! Reply Contact I cannot agree with you more! We were afraid to tell my DH's parents about our pregnancy because we already have two sons. My Mother-in-Law always made it clear that two children are all anyone needs. I always resented this from her. Since I am 8 weeks and very sick we had to tell them a bit earlier than we initially wanted to. My MIL said, "oh I hope she waits to have the baby until we are back from Florida!" Meaning, don't expect us to change our plans for the new baby. They probably won't even see the baby for a few months since I am due in Feb. My parents said they would come home from their winter in Florida and then return after helping us out. Now I remember hearing my MIL talking about if her daughter had baby #2 they would need to know ahead of time to plan their FL trip around the baby, but since it is us and baby #3, I guess that isn't necessary. Hard not to feel a little bitter.

• 07-09-2008 5:40 PM

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  iluvellis Joined on 06-24-2008 thousand oaks ca Posts 199	Re: Attitudes that have me bitting my lip hard! Reply Contact i am almost 27, but look like i am still a teenager. i would get the worst looks from people and how i dealt with it? i said something! screw people who judge you for no reason. i say speak your mind - within reason...dont want to get in trouble!

• 07-09-2008 6:53 PM

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  JADE2949324 Joined on 07-09-2008 Posts 2	Re: Attitudes that have me bitting my lip hard! Reply Contact i am 22 and look really young 4 my age also when im pushin my toddler in the pram with my big bump in tow i felt self conscious cos of all the stares now i just stare right back but must admit some days it gets 2 me!