DON'T host your own shower!

• 06-10-2008 9:19 AM

  mrnldy Joined on 03-14-2006 Washington DC Posts 2

  DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact Here's the scoop - friend is pregnant. I offered to throw/host the shower for her. She wants to have it at her house. I know I should respect her wishes, but isn't this inappropriate? I don't mean to be Miss Manners, but all the rules of etiquette site this as a number one offense! You just can't have a shower at your own house hosted by someone else. You just can't. How do I tell her this? (I need a BREE! help!)

• 06-10-2008 9:24 AM

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  	Re: DON'T host your own shower! Mark as Not AnswerMark as Answer... Reply Contact Why does she want it at her house?

• 06-10-2008 9:33 AM

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  blondemama4 Joined on 03-24-2008 Tucker Lane 06/17/2008 Tyson Brady due 07/05/2009 Posts 810

  Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact Why in the world would she want to do that? First off I would be happy just not to have the pressure of having to have my house clean. I guess if she wanted it there it wouldn't be a crazy big deal but, just not something that is usual. Anyway...I know I am not much help but, I guess if she wants to do it that way then why not..just not the norm though!

• 06-23-2008 11:24 AM

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  lisa2905379 Joined on 06-18-2008 Mississippi Posts 28

  Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact If you haven't decided on what to do, yet......My sister had hers at her house hosted by my mom. It was no big deal. It kept her from having to load and unload gifts and she also has a couple of other kids, so it kept her from having to do anything with them, or loading and unloading them, as well. I didn't hear anyone say anything about it. Everyone knew it was more convenient for her, and plus, it was family and friends. As long as you are not trying to impress anyone that's coming, it shouldn't matter.

• 06-25-2008 9:27 AM

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  LaurieF81 Joined on 03-27-2008 San Diego Posts 117

  Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact Maybe she has a cute house or new furniture that she wants to show off.  Maybe it's easier for her to not have to move the presents and drive to someone else's house.  Maybe she's just more comfortable in her own house.  I know you're not supposed to HOST your own shower.  But I don't see why she couldn't have it at her house, as long as she's not the one doing ALL the hosting.  Basically, she's just providing the location.  You could still make, address, and send the invitations.  Plan and organize games, make or order food and beverages, handle any table and chair rentals, do all the decorations, and (of course) coordinate all the clean-up afterwards (maybe with a friend or two).

• 06-26-2008 5:48 PM

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  Alisha119 Joined on 04-23-2008 North Carolina Posts 34	Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact I don't see why it should matter if it's at her house.  It's a lot easier that way probably.  She wouldn't have to bother moving everything to her house..That's where it's all going anyhow lol No matter what the sites say, it's about helping out the mother, not pleasing everyone's beliefs!

• 07-07-2008 11:23 AM

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  Kathryn35 Joined on 08-07-2007 Our Lucky Charm was born 2/27/09 Posts 149

  Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact it's actually more common now to throw the shower at the mother to be house.  I did it for 2 of my girlfriends and paid housekeepers to come and clean the day before.  She didn't have to worry about getting somewhere on time, drive anywhere and it was just easier for her to move stuff into the nursery.  I would respect her wishes and throw it at her house.  You are still the hostess....you run the party Good luck Kate

• 07-10-2008 2:48 PM

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  Donna2944860 Joined on 07-10-2008 Indiana Posts 60	Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact I think it is great having it at her house!! No hauling gifts!! Besides nothing is ordinary these days. It really would be more convient and you can still clean up and organize. She would be more comfortable. Just make it fun

• 08-27-2008 1:24 PM

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  Dixiemill01 Joined on 09-20-2004 Posts 141

  Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact I am WAY late in responding to this, but regarding Showers at the mother to be's house... I had to do that and all my friends understood why I almost came close to hosting my own shower. My mother who was one of the co-hosts had terminal cancer (she died two years after DD was born) and we had everything catered.  My MIL who was the other co-host lives more than an hour away. It was just easier for everyone to just do it at my house.  Sometimes the situation just calls for it just go with the flow.

• 09-03-2008 5:27 PM

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  Deon2682 Joined on 03-23-2008 Flagstaff, AZ Posts 253

  Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact These things can go either way, really-I had my mother, sister and best friend host my shower and my Mom took over on location and decorations and all that while friend/sister did games.  I wanted to have it at my house so I could keep the decorations and stuff reigned in, but Mom insisted on doing it at another site-well, she was so overbearing and CRAZY about everything being PERFECT that no one could stand being in the same room as her by the end of the party-which was kinda stressful for me-I just wanted everyone to be together and have fun and in the end everyone just wanted to run out the door.  I kinda wish I would have hosted my own-although I do appreciate everything that was done on my behalf...

• 09-03-2008 11:06 PM

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  Lynda2779316 Joined on 04-03-2008 Sydney, Australia Posts 327

  Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact Is it bad having the shower at your own place ...My sister is hosting my shower and she suggested it being held at my place and i was thinking what would be easier for me and my 2 girls... that way i am in the comfort of my own home, the girls and any other little girls coming will have toys to play with and a trampoline out the back too and i dont have to worry about bringing all the presents home etc...and my sister is going to do everything anyway and the cleaning afterwards...i will be a guest in my own home

• 09-04-2008 6:30 AM

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  Cyn 7707 Joined on 03-13-2008 Posts 1,285

  Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact My best friend's Mom(she's like a Mom to me) wants to throw a shower for us! I'm so happy she's doing this for us, since I though nobody was going to. Well, she lives a decent bit out of town, and her house is small, so she's asked if I would mind having the shower here. "Of course not", I told her - I love to have friends and family in our home, especially w/ DH deployed..it takes the sting out of the loneliness. I am very excited to have the party here!!!

• 10-05-2008 7:48 AM

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  Nikki101382 Joined on 10-26-2005 Posts 1

  Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact I threw a shower for a good friend of mine. they just bought a new house and had not had enough time or energy to do a house warming party. it was a great opportunity for everyone to see the new house (for her to show it off) and very relaxing for the mommy to be! i did all the invites, food organizing (everyone brought a dish), i went over and helped clean (they are clean freaks anyways), i brought the party favors and decorations over there, and stayed and cleaned up afterwards. really no different on my part than having to bring it to a hall or somewhere like that. she loved it! her husband was home and a couple of the guests' husbands came too and they had a bon fire outside! this included him in the activities and made him feel a part of the event. she also loved that she didn't have to cart the gifts anywhere! i think it's a great idea!!!

• 10-17-2008 12:25 PM

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  Angela1021978 Joined on 10-09-2008 Posts 40	Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact This is supposed to be a no no? I hosted my BF's shower at her home because it was easier for her to put everything in her nursery rather than make multiple car trips! Sounds like a no no not to.

• 10-24-2008 4:40 PM

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  Elizabeth2992035 Joined on 08-04-2008 Posts 2	Re: DON'T host your own shower! Reply Contact I am currently 31 weeks and think if its what the mom to be wants then do it. Maybe you could send her out for a bit an clean up or decorate whatever needs to be done so the presure of a presntable house isnt on her then it would be like going some place else for the party but having the convenience of really being at home