Advise Needed Please

• 07-08-2008 8:15 AM

  HotMama124 Joined on 06-23-2006 *Carter Dec 06 & Girl 10/18/08* Wisconsin Posts 1,370

  Advise Needed Please Reply Contact Hi Ladies - I am looking for some advise.   I think I am going through a depression right now.  Is it possible for this to happen during pregnancy?  I thought it only happened after delivery - PPD?   I live with my boyfriend and our 19 month old son.  My boyfriend and I have been having lots of problems lately and I feel so much anger towards him.  I don't feel like I have the relationship I want with him. I want someone to tell me I look beautiful, someone to say how great of a mom I am, someone to come and lay in bed with me and feel our daughter kick without being told to come and feel, someone who walks in the door and kisses me and asks how my day was.  I think about how I don't have any of these things, and I get really depressed.  I then start to think about things that we have been through in the past (not good things) and that builds up into depression as well.  I have all this weight on my shoulders and its all because I don't feel like I am being treated like I deserve. Sometimes its so hard for me to come on these boards because so many of you wonderful ladies have the perfect partner and I feel like I got stuck with the wrong one.   How do I approach this with my doctor?  Am I just dwelling on things and should I just get over them?  Do I make an appointment to see my doctor and talk to him about getting me on meds?  Do I just walk into his office and say "Hey Doc - I think I am depressed!"    Its so hard too b/c I don't want to come to work.  I work in a call center and have to make more than 150 dials per day trying to get ahold of people.  Its so stressful especially when I get rude people on the phone. I just want to break down and cry.  I need a vacation asap.   Thank you so much for reading and I am sorry this is so long.  Any help or advise is appreciated.    Sara

• 07-08-2008 8:22 AM

  In reply to

  Cyn 7707 Joined on 03-13-2008 Posts 1,186

  Re: Advise Needed Please Reply Contact Hi, Sara. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. Depression can happen at any time, and you should go to your doctor. However, it sounds to me as though you need counciling, not medication. Life is stressing you out, and you are unsure of your future with your boyfriend... all things that are best talked over with a professional. Do speak w/ your Dr. ASAP....any stress you feel, your baby feels too- doesn't that make you more stressed?! :-) I hope that you get some help, Sweetie, life is too short to feel so uncertain and unhappy.

• 07-10-2008 8:28 AM

  In reply to

  Bellas~Mama Joined on 10-28-2005 Massachusetts Posts 73

  Re: Advise Needed Please Reply Contact  I feel the same way you do about how your boyfriend treats you. I think what happens is that we get comfortable in our lives and with our partners, and forget that the little things count too........... my advise is talk to your doctor......when you go in tell him/her how you've been feeling and you believe you may be depressed. they will refer you to a counsellor. Sometimes all you need is someone outside your relationship to talk to...... HUGS hun...... We all envy those who "seem" to have perfect partners but the truth is, no one really does......... EVERYONE has flaws, some just dont express it more then others......   ~Jamie~

• 07-10-2008 8:59 AM

  In reply to

  HotMama124 Joined on 06-23-2006 *Carter Dec 06 & Girl 10/18/08* Wisconsin Posts 1,370	Re: Advise Needed Please Reply Contact Thank you so much for your replies ladies! Yesterday I wrote him a letter and going to see if that makes any difference.  My next doctor's appointment is next Friday - so if nothing changes, then I will definitely be speaking to him. Thanks again!

• 07-10-2008 12:47 PM

  In reply to

  Bellas~Mama Joined on 10-28-2005 Massachusetts Posts 73	Re: Advise Needed Please Reply Contact  good luck with the letter! and with your appointment next friday! Keep us updated and please never feel like you cant talk to us..... we are all here to help support eachother :)   HUGS! ~Jamie~

• 07-11-2008 8:37 AM

  In reply to

  K1mb3rly2819375 Joined on 04-27-2008 Posts 299

  Re: Advise Needed Please Reply Contact  I have talked to my doctor about depression and she will not let me on any medication because she does not see that I should put my baby at risk... I think she is either way because if I keep going down this crappy road that I am on it will only get worse and not better. SO either way its not a win win situation... I just wish some doctors would realize that.

• 07-11-2008 9:08 AM

  In reply to

  kt1967 Joined on 07-07-2008 Posts 66

  Re: Advise Needed Please Reply Contact I understand completely. I was actually on Lexapro pre-pregnancy and my OB has okay'd me to continue it. The hardest thing I ever did was make the intial appointment and berak down in front of my doctor. I had spent close to a year trying to deal with it on my own. I agree counseling helps too. Do you live near a counselor who specializes in fertility and pregnancy issues? My fertility doc actually required us to see a counselor before we started our treatments and it was the best thing I ever did! I have gone back on my own a couple of times when life got too stressful. As far as being stcuk with the wrong partner, I think I can speak for most women when i say it depends on teh day. My DH is wonderful, don;t get me wrong, but he can drive me nuts! And never be afraid to ask for help.

• 09-01-2008 8:06 PM

  In reply to

  STharp928 Joined on 11-05-2004 Firebaugh, California Posts 131

  Re: Advise Needed Please Reply Contact Hey there. I wondered if I would see any familiar faces on here. I too am struggling with something this pregnancy, but I don't know if it's my dh. I am for sure going to say something to my OB when I go in a couple weeks, I can't live like this. I wish I had some helpful advice, but I don't know what to do with myself right now. Just know that you're not alone. HUGS

• 09-06-2008 11:05 AM

  In reply to

  tikiblee Joined on 09-06-2008 Maryland Posts 2

  Re: Advise Needed Please Reply Contact I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Its hard enough being pregnant - then to top it off with an unsupportive partner and a child to take care of and crappy feelings of your own - thats just awful. I would definately recommend going to see a counselor to talk about what you are going through and get some useful feedback. She might be able to offer some suggestions, books to read, etc. I've been to a few different therapists over the years when I've been depressed and they've really helped to make me see things in a different way. Maybe you and your partner could even go get some relationship counseling. Having a professional to facilitate open communication could really help. My husband and I went to pre-marriage counseling and I loved it! We got to discuss so many things we hadn't thought about before. Whatever you do - its most important to take care of yourself first. Surround yourself with people who are supportive, make sure you get good nutrition and regular exercise if you can. Getting yourself up and active, even when you are down in the dumps, can help a lot.

• 09-14-2008 8:00 PM

  In reply to

  lenalanimami Joined on 09-04-2006 EDD Dec 28 ...33W 3 D Posts 584	Re: Advise Needed Please Reply Contact hey  sara...im going through some stuff too.. i talked to my doctor and she recommended a councelor and and zoloft now until a couple months after the baby is born incase of PPD. i would def. talk to your doc ok? let us know how things go.