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Sexual Issues During and After Pregnancy

Unfortunately, a baby may have a negative effect on your relationship…sometimes before it’s even born. Many couples experience sexual difficulties during and/or after pregnancy; join this board to share support, advice, and encouragement with other couples facing these issues.
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Hate sex

Last post 07-06-2009 1:30 PM by melonjuice. 24 replies.
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  • 08-08-2008 12:22 PM

    • kray0812
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 08-08-2008
    • Mama to Ayden
    • Posts 33

    Hate sex

    I am 28 wks 6 days pregnant and my husband wants it just as many times as we used to before we got pregnatn which was like 4-5 times a week. Now I love him and am still very attracted to him, but I can barely deal with doing it 1-2 times a week if even that. It just doesnt feel that good to me right now, and have not had an orgasm since I was like 2 months pregnant. He says its ok that I dont want it as much, but I dont really want it at all.....I dont wanna hurt his feelings or anything which is why I try to give it up once in awhile. I just hate having to fake like I am enjoying it.
  • 08-13-2008 11:33 AM In reply to

    • Deon2682
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 03-23-2008
    • Flagstaff, AZ
    • Posts 253

    Re: Hate sex

    sorry about how you are feeling-and I do understand.  I had to talk to my hubby about our sex needing to change for the time being.   I am 35 weeks prego and in the last month or so it has become MUCH more difficult for me to have sex, and impossible for me to orgasm while having sex.  I did find though, that having him perform oral before intercourse alleviates this situation, but I am only in the mood for that now and then...it was a little difficult at first, talking to him about it, but I was just honest and told him-it's nothing you are or are not doing, my body is different right now-he understood and isn't bummed about the whole thing.  You also don't want to fake like you're enjoying it because it could become habit, or he could notice and not say anything but be feeling badly...so if you really aren't enjoying it at all...tell him and either change what you're doing or stop. 

  • 09-08-2008 9:53 AM In reply to

    Re: Hate sex

    I can completely relate. I am 17 weeks and since I was about 10 weeks I just have no desirfe to havve sex. I hate that I feel this way adn I know it has to be hard for my husband. I think he understands although he does make comments that I dont like him anymore. But that is not true. Sex is just not as enjoyable, for one I cant even orgasm during sex. If you cant orgasm what is the sense? I had the same feelings towards it with my first. ALllmy friends thaought I was crazy because they all experienced a mypho rush during pregnancy. But they are right when they say each pregnancy is different. But if oyu really cant do it at all try oral its about the only thing that I can stand and it helps him out too!
  • 11-02-2008 8:06 AM In reply to

    Re: Hate sex

    my boyfriend is so sensitive about sex what can i do because i hate sex also right now!!!! i dont think its much so hate sex i hate the frequency of sex in the morning hes hugging and holding hoping to have sex and get turned down in the middle of the day soon as i have a break or sitt down for a monent hes horney and get turned down or at night after dinner and the kids are on thier way to bed he's like time for daddy and get turned down. and every time i turn him down his feelings get hurt and thats like 3 times a day what do i do he also says i push him away alot or i dont get as close to him as i use too. but if i do he take it as i ready to make love and most of the time im not. so he get his feelings hurt again HELP ME BEFORE ITS TO LATE.
  • 12-29-2008 9:29 AM In reply to

    • HootchyMumma
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 11-18-2008
    • Westchester, NY
    • Posts 38

    Re: Hate sex

    ME too!! lol My poor DH has been short changed for years! I think it started when doing fertility treatments and everything became v. mechanical. I've never found it easy to climax and right now (only 12 wks for me) I have no energy or desire to even try. I bought my DH a cyber skin masterbation sleve and gave him full permission to surf porn sites whenever he liked! It's not a perfect soloution but it definatly helps.
  • 01-13-2009 7:51 PM In reply to

    Re: Hate sex

    I'm sorry he's being so sensitive!! Maybe have your doctor explain to him that for a woman, being pregnant changes EVERYTHING - drive, comfort level, pain, your own feelings of how attractive you are etc... not to point out the obvious but he has NO idea how it feels to be pregnant and isn't really being very respectful!! You're the one doing all the hard work here carrying your child for 10 months... honestly if explaining this to him doesn't make him stop feeling "rejected" etc. then ask your doctor to confirm - or send him here! We'll explain it to him!!
  • 01-26-2009 10:28 AM In reply to

    Re: Hate sex

    does vibrator makes u feel beta?

  • 02-04-2009 6:31 AM In reply to

    Re: Hate sex

    Cant say I hate sex but I don't like it very much right now. Actually that has been happening since I got married about 11 months ago even before I got pregnant. Now that I'm pregnant I haven't had an orgasm at all. I'm about 36 weeks pregnant. Add to the fact that my hubby just doesn't understand what I'm going through and is being totally insensitive and what do you have: a stressed out woman who is totally uninterested in sex. Sex has become more of a nuptial obligation for me now. I just do it to keep my man satisfied nothing more. I don't pretend to have an orgasm, I just let him do his thing and once it's over, it's over. Honestly, our sex life is really boring for me.
  • 02-08-2009 4:50 AM In reply to

    Re: Hate sex

    are there any positions that you like better than others? do you still have orgasms by yourself...without the whole act of sex? Thanks
  • 02-12-2009 7:48 AM In reply to

    Re: Hate sex

    Not that I'd wish this issue on anyone else, but it's helpful to know that other women are gong through the same thing. I'm 28 weeks and I had always heard that my sex drive should return by this point. It hasn't at all and I feel really bad. Has anyone out there found a solution or a good compromise?
  • 02-12-2009 5:28 PM In reply to

    Re: Hate sex

    when did you lose your sex drive....what week of pregnancy and does that sex drive include times when you are by yourself or just the whole act with your husband...thanks
  • 03-05-2009 11:33 AM In reply to

    • Rebekah79
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 03-05-2009
    • Wisconsin
    • Posts 459

    Re: Hate sex

    part of me wonders, since we as women are more mentally stimulated from sex vs physically... maybe its because many women feel fat, or chunky, or not sexy at all and its hard to enjoy when feeling self concous of your size. i prefer the lights off not what I am gaining weight.
  • 03-13-2009 6:01 PM In reply to

    Re: Hate sex

    hi my name is lalita and i am from curacao and i am 8 weeks pregnant and i dont want any sex and it seems that is all my husband can think about
  • 03-22-2009 4:34 PM In reply to

    Re: Hate sex

    is masturbation an issue as well?
  • 04-11-2009 3:27 AM In reply to

    Re: Hate sex

    Oh Thank Heavens! I thought that there was something wrong with me and that I was the only one that felt that way! :) With all the info online talking about how horny pregnant women can get, I was starting to get worried. I love my husband, and think he's sexually attractive...I just don't want sex. I'm more in the mood to cuddle than anything else. And the hard part is, he tells me that I'm very sexy and that it turns him on just to look at me....makes me want to invest in mumus or something.....We had the "it's not you or what your doing" talk... but it's hard to get him to understand that it just feels different down there. It's like the angles all wrong...and it's uncomfortable and a nuisance. Ah well...At least now i know I'm not alone. :)
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