I'm so lonely

• 08-13-2008 3:45 PM

  Tsharra2891783 Joined on 08-13-2008 Posts 6

  I'm so lonely Reply Contact I am pregnant unexpectedly the father bailed out on me in the very beginning and thinks its not his. This is my second child and I'm a single parent with the first one already. They do not have the same father. I have been alone my whole pregnancy and what i mean alone is no male companion to be by my side. To rub my back and feet you know help me put my lotion on my feet I can no longer reach or see. I talk to the one I'm pregnant by once in a blue moon, and it's only when he call me because he calls private. I feel bad because i used to look forward to his phone call but now like a dummy because i can't call him when i want. Only at his conviniece. So I cursed him out big time and told him if I cant talk to him when i want sometime dont call me. Well I got what i want cause now I dont hear from him at all. I'm getting to close of the end to be worried about this stuff. I cant help it though with my first child her father was practically glued to me during my pregnancy. I miss and want that comfort just not from him I cant stand him. I dont want a stranger or some nagging guy in my face cause he thinks I'm the prettiest thing in the world right now. I want somebody who at least cares for me some. My emotions are overwhelming I cant even be excited like i was because I really have no one to share it with.

• 08-13-2008 6:41 PM

  In reply to

  Suzette2587796 Joined on 01-12-2008 Posts 139

  Re: I'm so lonely Reply Contact I am so sorry you are doing this alone. I was there myself 16 years ago, my sons dad wanted nothing to do with me. My sister was pregnant at the same time and her bf would love on her and talk to her baby it made me so sad that I would ask myself why I was having this baby with out a dad.. When my son turned one I met the man I call my husband today. He has raised my son as his own son. My son has never met his really dad and could careless to meet him. There are some good guys out there still I just think you have to go through alot of wrong guys to find the right one. Keep your head up and everything will start looking better for you. And by the way I was only 15 years old when I had my son.

• 08-13-2008 9:39 PM

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  jennifer2865085 Joined on 08-13-2008 Posts 3

  Re: I'm so lonely Reply Contact i think i kind of know how you feel. Im pregnant with my first one and it is so not how i wanted this to be the baby's dad was sort of there then some crazy stuff happened and i moved out of state he has never been there emotionaly for me and the futher along i get im realizing that i dont think he will be. we had been seeing each other for about a year.we talk but only when its convient for him. I gave up my job, my friends my life everything and nothing has changed for him. I had to move in with my dad and step mom and ask for state help i feel so low at this point i went to college and even graduated. he still gets to go out and do what ever while i get to be pregnent i cant go meet new people not that i really want to at this point but it would be so nice to have someone to rub my back or just put there arm around me and tell me it will be ok. it was also very hard when i called and talked to his mom and she asked if he was doing anything to help me and well he's not. I dont want his money just for him to be there for me emotionally and for the birth of his child i really dont think that he will be there and well its his lose not mine. so if any one has any advice at all please let me know. im trying so hard not to just tell him to f off. its just so funny how people change when you drop the im pregnant bomb on them. I was the one who never wanted to have kids and took the steps to prevent it but well i guess life had other plans for me.

• 08-27-2008 3:22 PM

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  trickywoo Joined on 07-27-2005 Posts 252

  Re: I'm so lonely Reply Contact I'm so sorry you're going through this alone, hun! What an overwhelming situation! But good for you for hanging in there with your kids. You're a tough mama and you can do this! Do you have other support groups? Friends? Family? Anyone you could call on for a little help - maybe meal prep or house cleaning or something that would let you get a little break and pamper yourself. Hang in there!

• 09-02-2008 8:25 AM

  In reply to

  jonig1280 Joined on 08-31-2008 Florida Keys Posts 24

  Re: I'm so lonely Reply Contact Hi, I am in the same boat with ya! How far along are you? I will be 8 wks tomorrow. I found out on august 25th that I was pregnant. I told my then boyfriend, and by August 31st he was no longer talking to me and broke up with me. He offered to pay for an abortion, (knowing full well I was not going to have one) and told me that he was not going to be involved or go to dr appt.s with me. Next sunday would be our one year anniversary. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I also have a son that is 6 years old and has a different father. I went through hell and back with his father over custody. His father was very abusive both emotionally and physically and I dont' want to go through that again! I am very surprised to see how many other woman are out there and in our situation. It does help a little to feel like you are not the only one. It makes me feel absolutely worthless to be treated like trash. I can't believe that this person whom I thought cared about me could just leave me when I need him most. If you need to talk please feel free to email or pm me. It does help to have someone else to talk to that understands. Do you have family nearby? ~Joni

• 09-04-2008 5:45 PM

  In reply to

  Deon2682 Joined on 03-23-2008 Flagstaff, AZ Posts 253

  Re: I'm so lonely Reply Contact Do you have any family or close friends in the area that might help out with these kinds of things?  A male companion isn't always a blessing-what about a close girlfriend who will rub your feet and back?  My good friend has regularily given me pedicures during my pregnancy and she is happy to do it.  Perhaps there is someone who can be there for you, but you may need to reach out to them...other than that, we are here for you emotionally!

• 10-08-2008 10:53 AM

  In reply to

  bamboobaby12 Joined on 10-01-2008 colorado Posts 13

  Re: I'm so lonely Reply Contact i am so there too. im 16 and pregnant. im 10 weeks along and my baby's dad wants nothing to do with me. he literally diconnected his phone numbers. he's moving away next month. he's always run away from his problems but this is bad. he seriously wants to moave away thaty's how bad he doesn't want this. im just worried about what im going to tell my kid when they grow up. either way. i have one close friend who is also prgnant right now. her bf is all over her and is all lovey dovey. ya know? it's hard for me not to wonder what i did wrong. why am i not good enough of is my child not good enough for him. but you know you got friends on here now and i know it's not at all the same but just know that we are always here for you and that there other women out there just like you.

• 10-08-2008 10:01 PM

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  jennifer2865085 Joined on 08-13-2008 Posts 3

  Re: I'm so lonely Reply Contact yeah i ask myself that all the time "why am i not good enough" You are so young learn this now you are good enough. I cant even begin to know what its like to be 16 and in your shoes its hard enough being 29 and going through this. I want so much for him to be part of this but well he only cares about himself so dont play the games that so many of us women play we dont need a guy to make us feel whole and worthy. So let him do what he wants and foget him you have so much other stuff to think about its his lose and im sure its going to be hard on you but you can do it!!! Does you family support you decisions? Guys dont know what its like at all they dont have to watch there body change they dont feel it move its so easy for them to run away because things get difficult but we cant well we can but then what would people say about us all kinds of mean things. Mine told me the other day that i didnt even give him a say in any of this but you know when i was 19 i have a miscarraige and I didnt know i was pregnant i could never choose to get rid of a child i would never tell someone they were wrong if they choose to but i cant not after going through that i blamed myself for many years nor could i after feeling her move and hearing her heart beat give her up for adoption she is part of me i never thought i would say this but feeling her move makes me feel better some how. Guys will come and go but she will always be with me i know what i have to do and that is look out for her and be there for her no one else matters anymore. As far As far as what to tell your child they will know who has been there for them my friend who is a single mom doesnt say negative things about the dad in front of her kids they know who is there. Her son asked when he was bout 5 why hes dad didnt love him i remember she callled me and was pretty much in tears because she didnt know what to say. I think she ended up saying something like he loves you in his own way but still it will be hard! i didnt really start to enjoy my pregnany till a few weeks ago but i finally have decided that this could very well be the only child i have so f him for not being there to help me or support me i have family and friends that are and they will always be there for me and you know i do feel better i still have my days where i just dont even want to get out of bed or just want to cry but well none of that will make the situation any better i have to focus on whats important and its not him its me and my unborn child!!! I know im really nobody to you but please remember that you are important and special and good enough dont settle just to settle!!! No matter how hard it gets dont give up especially when it comes to school you have a long road ahead of you but never give up and learn from the things that come along the way. It goes by so quickly the preg. and being young Learn from what so many of us havent DONT SETTLE AND DONT LET GUYS TREAT YOU LIKE CRAP STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. I WISH YOU ALL THE LUCK AND HOPE IT ALL GETS BETTER. I hope nothing i said offends you and if you want keep me posted ill tell you this the first time you feel it move it so weird and strange but you'll never forget it! Best of luck to you and hang in there slowly it does get better :) Ive got 5 weeks left i cant believe it and i cant wait to meet her for the first time

• 10-09-2008 3:47 PM

  In reply to

  bamboobaby12 Joined on 10-01-2008 colorado Posts 13

  Re: I'm so lonely Reply Contact thank you. i know this is all just names on a page to some people but there really are people behind this. my family doesn't support me. they all thikn that im too young. so do i. however that's not the point. i thought about thi slong and hard and there is no way that i could either not have this baby or give it up for adoption. i grew up without my father. he left when i was 6 and it hurt me alot. that's why im so worried about putting my baby thru that too. i just get so scared sometimes. i know i must sound so pathetic. i just want him around so that maybe i can get him to admit that it is his responsability too. he just blows us off like it's nothing and i can't seem to get thru to him that there is a child growing inside of me. i living baby and it's his. it's a part of him. but i guess i should stop trying to push this on him when i know beyond a shout of a doubt that he won't come back. but thank you sooo much for writing back. it's nice to know that someone out there cares.

• 10-11-2008 6:42 AM

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  BloomingBarbie Joined on 10-11-2008 Clermont, Florida Posts 24

  Re: I'm so lonely Reply Contact I am so sorry, I am also going thru the same thing. My partner left me a month after finding out I was pregnant, and he also thinks its not his. This is my 4th baby I was married 15 years with my ex and father of my 3 first children, and pregnancies were so pleasant with those babies, but this pregnancy has been so heart breaking, so lonely, so sad. I love my baby more than anything and I will prove to his dad that it is his child once its born, but it will be too late then because all the damage has been done...This is such an amazing time for us and we shouldnt have to be going thru this...Men can be so cold sometimes, its all good when they're lying with you but when something like this happens they just walk out. but its ok, thats why God made us women, we are strong survivors WE CAN DO IT! We do anything for our children. I am 23 weeks pregnant now and I've been alone since I was 8 weeks, its been hard but everytime my baby kicks or squirms I dry a tear and go on for him. We will be ok!!! Hugs!!!

• 10-17-2008 11:45 PM

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  kerri3086 Joined on 10-17-2008 Posts 5

  Re: I'm so lonely Reply Contact wow there are a lot of us. that just means that none of us are alone. i'll be 20 weeks on sunday. things have been rocky with the dad for sometime but i've always held on to the faith that we would work it out. he sent me an email on monday saying he was through and now his number is disconnected. sadly he's done this before but who knows if he will come back this time or not. this is my first pregnancy and i haven't been able to enjoy it much at all. all my friends and family are so excited but they aren't there when i cry myself to sleep alone at night. the dad and i were engaged and now i'm alone. i'm having a little girl and i just don't know how i will raise her without a dad or raise her on my own. i know i will find the strength somehow, i know through prayer God is bringing me so much strength already. some days i'm ok, its just figuring out how to make it through the tough days that almost kills me. the other night i went to dinner with my sisters family and just started crying. i wasn't in her family. i'm an outsider. the whole place was crawling with happy families. daddy's holding their little girls and husbands kissing their wives and i just lost it. i got so down and felt so alone. i felt like nothing would ever be right for my daughter. it kills me that i can't give her a life with her father. last he said he wants to be there for her, but i moved away. i couldn't afford to live on my own when the dad left and i moved across the country to live with my sisters family. i gave up my life, my friends, my job, my house, all for this baby. the dad doesn't care. he thinks i'm selfish for moving here. i wanted to make it work but he makes it impossible. right now i'm tired of his games, but sadly i give in to what he wants when the lonliness gets too much to bear. not sure how i'll contact him though. guess i will have to wait for his calls! i feel so foolish and stupid. i went to college, i had a nice left, and now i feel like a kid again. it doesn't get easier as you get older. i just feel stuck. when i feel my little girl move it reminds me that all the pain is worth it. but it is still hard trying to fall asleep alone. its been two months since i last saw the dad and everyday is just as hard.

• 10-18-2008 9:25 AM

  In reply to

  jennifer2865085 Joined on 08-13-2008 Posts 3

  Re: I'm so lonely Reply Contact I know the feeling i moved to Ky when i was about 25 weeks gave up my close friends, my job some family and my independence. I know where you are coming from there its hard i have 3 1/2 wekks left im so scared the closer it get the worse i feel. i took a tour of the hospital yesterday and went by myself none the less (dont do that) i cried the entire way back. Then i get to work and about the time i sit down and get ready my phone rings its my doc. office so i take it to the back they tell me i have to go see a spec. on monday and need to go get more blood work immed. i now have whats called factor 5 its a blood disorder which i guess can be worse on me i should have been on blood thinners this whole time. Ill know more on monday still im just scared about all of this. Also found out this week that the babys dad in now seeing someone and get this she has kids (can we saw kick in face). He cant do a damn thing for me or his unborn baby but can be there for someone else and her kids. how messed up is that. Am i upset bitter and hurt well of course and im being nice with my words he referrs to her as our daughter i hate that he has done nothing but make me feel like a piece of crap on the bottom of his shoe. but yet he says i make him feel like that its all about him and what he needs and wants never about what i need. He cant even say he will be there to sign the birth cirtificate. I am so depressed as well but hey we need to say f$%% them and realize they are not worth it we are going to have someone that needs us and didnt ask for any of this and if they chose to miss out on what is a great and wonderful gift thats there lose. Not saying it will be easy for us because it wont be we will be the ones getting up with them making them feel better when they cry not them.Our wants and needs will now come after theres. I will hold him responsible for his part he will pay child support weither or not he thinks he will. We need to look at some of the strong women of our time and even the past did they take crap from people NO and that goes from a CEO to the ones working a burger king we need backbones we are just as strong as they are we just need to find it within our selves to stop taking it. sorry i rambel some times its the add in me coming out. I havent enjoyed my pregnancy much but i have days where i do and feeling her move is one of the highlights it makes me happy in ways i never understode till i was pregnnt. I also know what you mean when you see people to gether with there babies all happy looking yeah i cry to not because i wish them ill but out of being happy for them and wishing i had that. I sent someone i really dont know a message on myspace last nigh (i know of her because of the my babies dad) and at first was going to be kind of nasty and say something bad about him but in stead i told her how cute her baby was and how the 3 of them look so happy and it was nice to see that. (Not the same dad as mine). and you know i felt good and she remembered me. So we talked for a bit. As for the working things out i hope for you that it can be but dont ut you on hold waiting for that its better to move on now then to keep getting your heart broken. Mine is in so many pieces right now and crying is ok get it out its going to take time but like they say time heals all... and just like you i thank god that i have family and friends that love me and are there for me because i dont know where i would be with out them. if we could make money off of the tears we have cried we would be very rich people by now!!!! i actually have times where i cry tears of joy not often but some so i Know you can get there as well if you have a good friend cry on there shoulder they will understand and thats what they are they for Friends love you for you!!! i have learned that sometimes the words and kind deeds of a stranger feel good too maybe its gods way of showing hey i am here you just need to open your eyes and have faith. well i want you to know that when i read you post it did make me cry becuse i know you situation so well right now i wish that i could hug all of they people i have messaged with but hey we will make it!!!! Im glad that this site is here it does help to talk and hear from people that are or have been through what we have :)