not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent

• 03-25-2009 3:47 AM

  not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Mark as Not AnswerMark as Answer... Reply Contact  I've had 4 natural childbirths myself. None induced, all slightly 'overdue'. My only medical interventions have been an episiotomy every time. I have a longer than usual perenium apparently and it will not stretch. A doctor and my delivering midwife have said this. Anyway, thats where I'm coming from with this.. My best friend of 20 yrs is about to have her first child. She is currently 4 days past her EDD. She went for a check up at her OB today. Her daughter has not engaged yet and apparently this is a concern to the OB. He checked her cervix, nothing happening, which you would expect if the baby hadn't engaged. Well I've since read that even first babies can engage during labor. But her OB told her she has zero chance of going into labor on her own. Or, (how contradictory is this) if she did, she would more than likely need an emergency section! Sadly she is one of the many women who think their OB knows everything and doesn't research much for herself. I have given my opinion and of course I will support her choices, but it seems as if she has all but given up on believing she can birth naturally now. Her section is booked for 5 days from now. I still dare to hope, and pray, that labor will come to her before then. I'm just disgusted at her OBs behaviour. Has anyone had a first baby engage late? I don't recall even being told with my first if I were engaged or not before I went into labor!

• 03-25-2009 6:47 AM

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  angela~2DS Joined on 04-05-2005 VA Posts 1,794

  Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Reply Contact Neither of my kids engaged until my water had already broken. So it's a lot of crap. Their heads were right there, even when I was in labor. I got all the way to a 7 both times with nothing no help, no drugs etc. He just wants it to be easier on him. And my first was "late", I wish people would learn for themselves instead of always trusting drs that may get kickbacks for all the intervetion and drugs used!

• 03-26-2009 5:39 AM

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  	Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Mark as Not AnswerMark as Answer... Reply Contact  Well my friend has gone into labor today, I'm soo happy. Now we are just praying that its progressive and that her OB is not an a$$, lol. I'll post back when baby arrives! Thanks for the input.

• 03-26-2009 7:18 AM

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  angela~2DS Joined on 04-05-2005 VA Posts 1,794	Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Reply Contact Let's just hope she progresses on his time frame or she'll end up a a c/s anyways. Good luck and YEAH!

• 03-28-2009 3:55 AM

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  Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Mark as Not AnswerMark as Answer... Reply Contact  Well yes she ended up with the section.. Apparently the baby was presenting the wrong way. She got to 10cm but the baby wouldn't crown. Sounds as if there was not enough help for her in the first part of her active labor. The hospital here are idiots as well. But she and baby are well, so I guess thats all that matters now. Her little girl, Lana, was 8lb 4oz. I saw her today and she is absolutely beautiful. My friend is recovering ok from the section so far.

• 03-28-2009 2:11 PM

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  angela~2DS Joined on 04-05-2005 VA Posts 1,794	Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Reply Contact I'm glad that both are fine and healthy. Sorry she ended up with the section though.

• 03-28-2009 10:07 PM

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  lncooper Joined on 10-09-2004 Geneva, NY Posts 1,682

  Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Reply Contact I'm glad that she went into labor on her own. That's a big benefit to baby. It's ridiculous that her doctor booked a cesarean when first time moms have an average of going to 41 1/2 weeks anyway. You may want to send her info from ICAN, the International Cesarean Awareness Network. www.ican-online.org. I know your 'But she and baby are well, so I guess that's all that matters now" comment was meant with the best of intentions, but many cesarean moms end up quietly hurting because of comments like this, feeling like their feelings & experience didn't matter & they were just something that was in the way of the prize. A malpositioned baby can be tricky to deal with. They often take extra patience & support, something that's not often given in the hospital when you're given a time limit with pushing & forced to push in positions that close up the pelvis. Remind her that it had nothing to do with a supposed inability to birth; it's just that the baby was in a wonky position that made it more difficult. I hope she continues to recover well. What a beautiful name for what I'm sure is a beautiful baby :)

• 03-28-2009 10:23 PM

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  Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Mark as Not AnswerMark as Answer... Reply Contact  Well she's my BF but is a very private sort of person. When I get the chance to be alone with her I might ask her how she feels about having to have the section. I do care that she had to have it and I hope that it hasn't left her feeling down, which is why I will have to be careful what I say, because she knows I'm an advocate of natural birth and I don't her to think that I think she failed or something, I'm sure ykwim. They would have let her push in any position she wanted, they are pretty good about that here. To me I think it was the first stage of labor that got the baby in the wrong position. When she went up and was 4cm dilated, it was the middle of the night, she was tired from a day of pre labor, so they gave her a narcotic and she slept most of the night. To me, I would think lying down at that cruicial stage of labor is what messed things up, what do you think? Even as a first time mother I refused to sleep through my labor, there was no way I was going to do anything to hinder my progress. She pushed for an hour and a half before they decided on the section (apparently the OB's policy was no pushing for more than 2 hours.. I pushed for 2.5hrs to get my first out, granted he was crowning, her baby was not) and the baby wasn't even stressed. But yeh, damage had been done, she had moulding on her head from where she was trying to exit. Sadly my friend is of the train of thought that if the doctor/nurse says so, it must be true and does as she is told. Her baby is very beautiful, thank you.

• 03-30-2009 12:53 PM

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  Dave's Buttercup Joined on 06-20-2008 Victor Colby 1/12/09; Butterbean due 9/19/10 Posts 523

  Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Reply Contact ob's are wacky... probably because they're surgeons first, baby catcher second, in terms of priorities.  my sil had a wonderful ob that let her deliver her now 5 yo son breech, only if she would take an epidural, though.  she did and he was born at 34 weeks as well; if only every ob was on board with their patients wishes!!     i'm glad she and baby are healthy.  my soon to be sil is due in october and said to me "I'd rather have a real doctor at my baby's birth"  OOOOOOOK.  whatever you say, girlie!  I hope she's not disappointed with birth in the end.

• 03-30-2009 4:59 PM

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  NoLongerDesolate Joined on 02-23-2005 North Louisiana Posts 527	Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Reply Contact I haven't been on in a few days so I'm just catching up on this story. Too bad she wound up with a c-sec after all that. But I'm soooo glad she proved the doc wrong and went into labor on her own. Let me rant: What?!!??!? Really?! Did he think she would be preggo forever? I mean really. Come on!

• 05-21-2009 8:01 AM

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  hcjfctc Joined on 01-24-2008 Keira Joy born 10/19/2009~Virginia Beach, VA Posts 58

  Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Reply Contact NoLongerDesolate: I haven't been on in a few days so I'm just catching up on this story. Too bad she wound up with a c-sec after all that. But I'm soooo glad she proved the doc wrong and went into labor on her own. Let me rant: What?!!??!? Really?! Did he think she would be preggo forever? I mean really. Come on! My thoughts exactly!

• 05-21-2009 9:11 AM

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  scarlet_willow Joined on 12-14-2007 James 23 July '08, Henry 26 Oct '09 Posts 29

  Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Reply Contact Wow I'm glad to hear she did go into labor on her own and that the c-section wasn't performed until the very end (at least).  I think inductions are a major problem now.  My cousin recently had a baby 4 days before he due-date, optional induction (no medical reason at all), she wasn't dilated yet, so OF COURSE she ended up with a c-section!  I wanted to tell her DUH!  But that would have been mean haha  But seriously, if you do just a little research on your own, you will know that being induced for a first baby before you are even dilated a little will likely not get you anywhere.  And instead of sending her home (since her water was still intact) they did an unecessary c-section.  GRRR!

• 05-23-2009 11:58 AM

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  NoLongerDesolate Joined on 02-23-2005 North Louisiana Posts 527

  Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Reply Contact scarlet_willow: I think inductions are a major problem now.  My cousin recently had a baby 4 days before he due-date, optional induction (no medical reason at all), she wasn't dilated yet, so OF COURSE she ended up with a c-section!  I wanted to tell her DUH!  But that would have been mean haha  But seriously, if you do just a little research on your own, you will know that being induced for a first baby before you are even dilated a little will likely not get you anywhere.  And instead of sending her home (since her water was still intact) they did an unecessary c-section.  GRRR!  Sounds like a typical hospital scene. And now she probably praises her doc for "saving" her and the baby. Sadly, she'll probably never get a chance at a vaginal birth now.

• 05-25-2009 12:33 PM

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  ~Karma~ Joined on 03-11-2006 Nova Scotia; Charlotte May 19/07; #2 Apr 1/09 Posts 1,155

  Re: not sure if this is the right place.. bit of a rant/vent Reply Contact scarlet_willow: Wow I'm glad to hear she did go into labor on her own and that the c-section wasn't performed until the very end (at least).  I think inductions are a major problem now.  My cousin recently had a baby 4 days before he due-date, optional induction (no medical reason at all), she wasn't dilated yet, so OF COURSE she ended up with a c-section!  I wanted to tell her DUH!  But that would have been mean haha  But seriously, if you do just a little research on your own, you will know that being induced for a first baby before you are even dilated a little will likely not get you anywhere.  And instead of sending her home (since her water was still intact) they did an unecessary c-section.  GRRR!  I personally think inductions are the #1 reason that people end up with c/s, and I hate how many women have inductions for no reason.