Question for veteran mommies

• 08-27-2009 2:35 PM

  Briana888 Joined on 07-15-2009 Los Angeles, CA Posts 409	Question for veteran mommies Reply Contact I know there are a lot of experienced Moms on this board and being a new mommy I would like to take advantage of any useful information you would like to share. What are the things that nobody told you about labor, delivery, and bringing home baby that were a shock to you or stuff you would have like to known in advance??

• 08-27-2009 3:10 PM

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  LouisianaLady Joined on 05-12-2009 Louisiana Posts 239

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact if you plan to breastfeed, i do have LOTS of info. i am a MAJOR breastfeeding advocate. in fact, when i finish clinicals and become an RN, i am going to get certified and become a lactation consultant full time. they give you a few positions for breastfeeding, but the absolute EASIEST way to do it for you and baby is to lay on your side, bringing your baby to the breast, not breast to baby. my first son was too preemie and weak to breastfeed, but my second son was strong and did great. i had some problems when my milk came in because i got some big painful boobies (i did appreciate the big part), and he didnt latch well on one side, so my mother had me lay down bringing josh to my breast, and he just latched on. its GREAT in that position because you dont have to adjust your baby at all, its a very natural position for both you and baby. WARNING WARNING..... set your cell phone alarm for like 15 minutes or however long he/she feeds, so you dont fall asleep and roll on him/her. its really that comfortable to do.

• 08-27-2009 3:14 PM

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  LouisianaLady Joined on 05-12-2009 Louisiana Posts 239

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact and one more fun fact... i had no idea with my first son that i could change his clothes in the hospital, i thought they had to wear hospital issued gowns. so with my second, i had cutie little gowns and mittens and hats on him. i had him in gowns and not snapped clothing so the nurses could get under the gown if they needed. he looked so cute in his little outfits. that's a personal choice though, the hospital gowns are perfectly fine.

• 08-27-2009 3:31 PM

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  ~HappyCamper~ Joined on 01-09-2006 Missouri Posts 103

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact  There's so much, and of course I can't think of much right now, but here's what I did think of: 1) The first poops the baby had freaked me OUT.  They are meconium and seriously black/green, sticky tar.  It's hard to get off and there's usually quite a bit of it the first time or two.  Just be prepared. 2) If you have a girl, make sure you wipe all the little nooks and crannies every time.  Spread her all out down there when you change her diaper.  My first little girl got labial adhesion, where her little privates were sticking together.  I did clean her well and thought I was doing a good job, but I just wasn't getting it good enough.  If it does happen, the dr. will have cream you can put on her that will help it separate.   3) Don't be afraid to scrub their little heads.  I learned so much with my first! LOL She also got cradle cap b/c I was scared to wash her head too hard.  I got a stiffer baby hairbrush and put shampoo on it and went over her head really well during bath.  I would then take a comb and comb her hair, even as a newborn, to remove the crud.  4) All babies are different, but keep a couple preemie outfits on hand.  My first was 9lb., 12 oz. and wore size 1 diapers home from the hospital, but I still used preemie clothes on her for at least a couple weeks.  5) I have found, after 3, that making a bunch of noise during labor is a waste of energy.  Put it ALL into pushing, it seriously helps.  Don't get me wrong, I made noise, but screaming and yelling won't make baby come any faster and that energy is wasted.  You will need every ounce you have. 6) Take advantage of what they offer in the hospital - take the shampoo, wipes, diapers, ointments, formula, everything home with you.  You are paying for it anyway.  If you are going to use pacis, ask for a couple extra at the hospital -  a lot of times the ones they use and give to baby right off the bat you can ONLY get at the hospital, so if you lose one in the middle of the night, running to WM won't do you any good.  Ours carries them in the gift shop or you can order them online, but it's easier to just ask for a couple extra while you are there.  I know that sounds cheap, but it will at least get you through the first week or so.  7)  Don't be afraid to consult the lactation nurse, even after you've left the hospital.  My first wasn't nursing and I was too tired/frustrated/embarrassed to tell anyone.  I tried with all my might to pump and give it to her in a bottle, but I couldn't get anything out.  Finally my mom figured out what was going on and drove me to the hosp.  The L.C. was a Godsend.  She showed me different techniques and gave me some stuff to help and we never looked back after that.  I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't helped me (this is where the hospital formula came in handy - I hadn't planned to formula feed, but in the middle of the night when she was starving and screaming b/c she wasn't getting any milk from me, I was able to feed her what I had from the hosp. and she could get some rest).   Hope I don't sound too bossy!  Those are the first things that came to mind.  I'll post more if I think of them.

• 08-27-2009 4:06 PM

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  julesnac Joined on 05-06-2009 Michigan Posts 205

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact i learned with my first pregnancy that i had to be very direct & up front with the staff at the hospital. i felt like with my first they directed everything versus honoring my wishes. with my second i had to tell them things i wanted to do (get up & move) or didn't want (to be hooked to monitors constantly). course this may depend on the hospital, nurses, etc. but i wish i would've known my 1st time to be more direct and take control of the situation a little more. or have an advocate that would do it for me. it seemed even my family had no idea what was going on & the docs were just controlling it however they wanted instead of letting a woman labor like she's supposed to :) bringing a baby home is a HUGE change- well it was for me anyhow. i had a very hard time adjusting to life with a baby- not to mention i was the baby of the family having a baby so i had absolutely NO experience when it came to kids. so everything was completely new to me & hubby at the time. let me add that i did have a very stressful pregnancy & c-section & also had post partum depression so it was hard for me all together.... but if i can help anyone with my stories i'd rather they hear teh bad parts than think it's all supposed to be smiles & roses with a new baby- it's not. the ppd was awful & i felt useless. i couldn't breastfeed and the first time i knelt on the floor to give my new son a sponge bath, i couldn't even get up by myself (the incision was super painful) and i cried for hours thinking i wasn't supposed to have kids if i couldn't even do something as simple as that. despite all the warnings / info i had heard n read, i was not prepared for the lack of sleep, the work, the worry, etc.  my son was colicy and my husband worked 2 jobs and i was on my maternity leave so i was home ALL day from 7am till 11 pm by myself. anyways... i'm rambling, my point is to really try and enjoy even the not so good moments. in my experience, if you have a rough adjustment in any way whether breastfeeding or bonding or sleep or a baby who has its nights/days mixed up whatever it is, in the scheme of things those times don't last all that long. for anyone who is having their first it is an adjustment, but bring baby into your life- don't make baby the center of your life. i feel we made that mistake and our 'family' then began about our son versus our marriage, friendship, etc and i felt like i couldn't do anything that wasn't baby friendly. don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it! enjoy the first days- once they become toddlers you'll wish you could go back to snuggling up & napping on the couch with them for 10 minutes :)

• 08-27-2009 4:28 PM

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  BrittanyandCedsBaby Joined on 07-31-2006 CA Mommy to Gideon, Wife to Cedric, Due 1/22/10 Posts 959

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact This is a very very good idea! A good refresher course! Your Breastmilk may not come in until as long as 3 or 4 days after delivery. My Son was really dehydrated and I really wished I had some formula for him. We were both scared and miserable. When you change a newborn's diaper, there may be pink in the pee. It's not blood. It's from a breakdown of cells and it's ok and normal. You can tell it's not blood because it will stay the same color, blood will turn darker, brownish. FOLLOW YOUR OWN INSTINCTS! Especially when it comes to the controversial things, that there is advice going either way about. (Pacifiers ok if you're breastfeeding? Bathe the baby before the stump falls off? Circumcision. Formula or breastfeeding, or combine both? It's ALL up to YOU and YOU alone!) The Milk you pump will NEVER equal the amount your baby can get it's self. So it you can only get 1.5 oz, dont worry and think your baby only gets that much when it eats. Babies make the best suction and no Pump has ever been designed to equal it! Also, Feed your baby more than you pump especially early on to build up your supply. Feed your baby as much as you can and as much as it wants....(You will feel like your boobs are constantly exposed)....it will build up a good supply and the practice is good for both of you. Relax and enjoy your baby and dont think about all the other things you need to do. It's a good excuse to have to sit and hold your little one.

• 08-27-2009 5:41 PM

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  Bethie2584 Joined on 01-31-2008 Tampa, FL Posts 65

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact These are all full of such great advice! My only thing is if you plan on breastfeeding be aware that it does hurt the first few weeks! I was absolutely not prepared for how much it hurt. I actually cried through many of my son's feedings and if my mom hadn't been here encouraging me I don't know if I would have made it. She kept telling me...it will get better, it takes 6-8 weeks for you both to learn how to do it properly, but it will get better. I am so glad I stuck with it, because it did get better! And I absolutely loved breastfeeding! Good thing too because DS never would take a bottle!

• 08-27-2009 5:55 PM

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  LouisianaLady Joined on 05-12-2009 Louisiana Posts 239

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact Bethie is 100% correct on that one. it will hurt like holy hell for that long. i remember with josh, i learned that when he latched on, to suck in and hold my breath, so i wouldnt startle him by the yelling and him unlatch again. for the first 6 weeks or so, the first 2 minutes or so of him latching on would be like needles, but REMEMBER, you go numb, so after that first start, it wont hurt, and you'll be left wondering, "hmmm, 2 minutes ago, i wanted to scream, and now, this is great". i did it for the first year of josh's life, and its truely an emotional experience. i used to say that it was the most amazing bonding experience one could have, and that NO man could ever relate to their kids the way a woman does.

• 08-27-2009 6:22 PM

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  deemarie1223 Joined on 06-27-2009 Posts 385

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact  if you have a son, watch out!  the rumors are true!  He WILL pee on the back of the couch/changing table/wall ect.  I learned to be fast!  open the diaper, stick a wipie over his penis, wipe with another wipie, pull the diaper off and replace it, while still holding the first wipie.  this way if he pees, it goes downwards not everywhere else LOL!  Be gentle if you get him cicumsized, he will be fine, but you will be sad for him:( it may get swollen and purple and thats all normal, it shouldnt take longer then a week to heal.  The NUMBER ONE thing that no one ever told me was this: I knew i would love Kyle, I bonded very well while pregnant, I knew all mothers loved their kids.  But NO WAY was I prepared for the feelings I would feel as soon as I heard his cry and saw him!  No words I say here, or anyone will ever say can measure up to what you feel.  I remember asking my mom why she didnt tell me about this.  she said cuz she couldnt...its true, the amount of love you will feel for this child is indescribable! Overwhelming even at times.  I cried when he smiled, I cried when he cried, I cried when he slept, all cuz of the amount of love just pouring in waves out of my heart and body for him.  That was the one thing, I almost thought I couldnt handle ( I know weird) was the amount of love I had for him.  Over the first few months I was able to sort it out, it wasnt so overwhelming and I got used to it, you will too.  Then you will always love him/her this way, but it will be an everyday thing. Its truely, truely the MOST amazing feeling Ive ever had. Im smiling now just thinking back to that time and those overwhelming gush of love, concern, worry,happiness, achievement, completion, pride and much more all rolled into one, the moment you set eyes on your new baby!   ok  now that Ive gotten all mushy and nostalgic, Im done...Ill add more as I think of it!

• 08-27-2009 6:34 PM

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  NinaBena Joined on 02-24-2007 Arkansas (Rylee 02/18/09)(#2 due 01/17/10) Posts 55

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact I TRIED TO BREASTFEED AT THE HOSPITAL BUT COULDNT...NOT ONLY DID IT HURT BUT I FOUND OUT WHEN I GOT HOME THAT MY DAUGHTER WAS TOUNGE TIED (STILL IS) SO SHE COULDNT LATCH. LISTEN TO EVERYONE THAT TELLS YOU NOT TO HAVE SEX TO EARLY OR YOU COULD END UP LIKE ME LOL AND BE PREGNANT WITH #2 WHO IS DUE A MONTH BEFORE YOUR LITTLE ONES FIRST BIRTHDAY. IT TOOK MY DH AND I OVER A YEAR AND A HALF TO GET PREGNANT SO I DIDNT THINK I WOULD GET PREGNANT SO SOON BUT BOY WAS I WRONG.

• 08-27-2009 6:43 PM

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  julesnac Joined on 05-06-2009 Michigan Posts 205

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact true about the boys! i would always undo the diaper & leave it there a minute while i cooed at him for a minute, to let the fresh air do that thing it does :) then we were usually good. i think the best tip for circumcision is vaseline, vaseline, vaseline. you CANNOT overdo the vaseline! and even tho he'll be tender, you still have to really clean it good- boys have nooks & crannies just like girls do.  i don't know if there's a breastfeeding link anywhere.... but any tips on how to get a babe to latch? that was my prob with both mine is i couldn't get them to latch- ever! each time we tried it was a screaming jag for the baby until i felt like screaming as well and gave up. i never got either of mine to even latch & suck for more than a nano second. as a result i could never pump enough so they both got formula. i kind of didn't mind, but i know bf is better.

• 08-27-2009 8:24 PM

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  ~HappyCamper~ Joined on 01-09-2006 Missouri Posts 103

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact  The bf posts reminded me...when you are breastfeeding, it is also kind of startling when your milk lets down.  It always stung after my babies latched on and sucked for a few seconds, when my milk would let down, I always kind of sucked in my breath until it got to flowing pretty well.  It's not horrible, just kind of a shock the first few times.  It was still a beautiful, wonderful experience, but like the others said, just be prepared so you know that it's normal and don't let it deter you from perservering.

• 08-27-2009 8:57 PM

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  ilovesyalots Joined on 02-07-2005 2 pretty princess, hoping for a prince EDD 1-29-10 Posts 87

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact I totally agree with all the other mommies about BFing. It's def not easy but the key is not to give up and feed, feed, feed or pump like crazy. My 1st I had touble and gave up after 3 months my 2nd I bought an electic pump and pumped myself dry after each feeding and I produced like a cow! I at one point filled the whole door of our stand up freezer with bags of mommy milk. I guess the only other thing that I really didn't know with my 1st was (sorry if TMI) how much you bleed after having a baby and for wks! No one ever told me anything about that, it sucks. PLus how darn swollen and sore you are to sit for a good wk or so. I remember still wadling after I had my daughters just 'cause I was so sore.

• 08-27-2009 9:43 PM

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  BrittanyandCedsBaby Joined on 07-31-2006 CA Mommy to Gideon, Wife to Cedric, Due 1/22/10 Posts 959

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact Oh that reminded me, YES the bleeding is so nasty...It may be nice to not have a period for 9 months, but boy do you make up for it Post Partum! YUKKO! Get lots of Big pads with Wings! And it will hurt to wipe after having the baby, especially if you tore and or have stitches. My hospital sent me home with a wonderful little plastic squirt bottle. You fill it with warm water and spray off your area...It's so nice to be that clean! Cleaner then wiping! then just dab dry with TP. Think sport water bottle with the pop-up lid. Or you can just use a cup. OR if your toilet is right by your tub, you can get a shower hose! They sent home Dermaplast too! It's a spray-on pain reliever and it numbs you down there. REALLY nice for stitches cuz they can itch and burn.

• 08-27-2009 10:18 PM

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  ~HappyCamper~ Joined on 01-09-2006 Missouri Posts 103

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact  Yes!  The squirt bottle!!!!   It was WONDERFUL!  I forgot all about that but it was such a lifesaver.  It was soooo soothing.  Oh, and Tucks pads.  I would line my pad with Tucks - sounds really gross, but those things worked wonders for the swelling and to sooth the pain.  I recommend buying some and packing them in your hosp. bag just in case they don't give you any.