Only because I'm pregnant.....

• 08-13-2008 2:17 PM

  Tracy2962135 Joined on 07-17-2008 Posts 6

  Only because I'm pregnant..... Reply Contact That's what my ex-boyfriend said. Long story short - My ex and I live in different cities 2 hours apart. We basically broke up 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I have been wanting to move to his city for awhile because I love him. We had a weekend get-a-way when conception happened. Now that I am pregnant he is willing to have me move to his city - but is only doing it because I am pregnant. He says he loves me but even so, if I wasn't pregnant we would be done. At first I thought maybe this would work out, but now I am doubting the whole situation. Could this work or am I setting myself up for heartache?

• 08-13-2008 2:41 PM

  In reply to

  Kimberly2670453 Joined on 02-21-2008 Wisconsin Posts 929

  Re: Only because I'm pregnant..... Reply Contact  Hi there.  First, I want to say that I am sorry you are going through this.  Sending you big, giant hugs and praying for strength for you.  That said, please, please, PLEASE do NOT do anything ONLY BECAUSE YOU ARE PREGNANT.  I am saying this from experience.  You are very hormonal and emotional right now, and that is ok.  When I was 20, and a sophomore in college, I got pregnant with my DD.  Her dad and I had an on-and-off relationship.  We ended up getting married.  He cheated on me with his Ex while I was pregnant, and we ended up divorced a year later.  It might work out for you, and it might not.  Right now, though, just concentrate on taking care of yourself, physically and emtionally.  You and your ex have plenty of time to sort things out between the two of you.  If you decide to move, do it with the mindset that you want the support of having your baby's daddy close by, not with the thoughts that the two of you will live happily ever after.  I'm sorry if this sounds harsh; I just don't want to see you get hurt even more.  Best wishes.

• 08-13-2008 3:27 PM

  In reply to

  Tracy2962135 Joined on 07-17-2008 Posts 6

  Re: Only because I'm pregnant..... Reply Contact I don't think that was harsh at all. The situation is more complex because I have 2 kids who live in Atlanta with their father that I see at least once a month. That is actually where I am leaning on moving. My ex husband has full disclosure of the situation and has pledged full support in every way. It was my ex husband who pointed out that doing this only because I'm pregnant is not a good situation. I think I just needed to hear similar responses. What's also hard to fathom is that if I do move to Atlanta the father has previously said he wants no part of the child's life. I guess that should have been my first clue! Thank you for your response. I think I just need it validated that I was thinking along the right lines.....

• 08-13-2008 4:43 PM

  In reply to

  Kimberly2670453 Joined on 02-21-2008 Wisconsin Posts 929

  Re: Only because I'm pregnant..... Reply Contact  Atlanta sounds like a good choice.  Then, like you said, you'll be closer to your other 2.  And even though your marriage didn't work out, it sounds like you get a lot of support from your ex.  I had my second DD with my "rebound" relationship after my divorce.  He was abusive, and on drugs and everything else.  My ex husband was very supportive of me through that.  I was really depressed, so I signed over custody...  He gave it back a few months later when I had gotten back on my feet!!  He also offered to claim that the 2nd baby was his.  I am now remarried to a wonderful man who loves my girls as though they were his own.  They have to have visitations, and things are generally peaceful.  But it was a very difficult few years.  If you ever wanna talk or anything, feel free to contact me.  I'm on the TTC board and just happened to see your post today.  It figures that I find a worthwhile daddy, and now we are having troubles.

• 08-18-2008 11:08 AM

  In reply to

  JaydenandIsabel'sMommy Joined on 05-02-2006 WIsconsin Posts 212

  Re: Only because I'm pregnant..... Reply Contact don't feel bad. i am pretty much in the same situation yet again this time. my boyfriend and i got in a huge fight this weekend and he told me that was the only reason he stays with me is because i am pregnant. nice i think. i don't know i think you should stay with somoe one because you love them and you want to be with them not just because they are pregnant. i don't even know what to say or think. i am just in a daze so to say i guess.

• 08-20-2008 7:38 AM

  In reply to

  Tracy2962135 Joined on 07-17-2008 Posts 6

  Re: Only because I'm pregnant..... Reply Contact Trust me - I know where you are. I still am in a daze. I am just afraid of getting myself stuck into a situation that will be tougher in the long run. Even though my better option is to go to Atlanta, I want to move to Cleveland because I still love my ex-boyfriend. He told me yesterday that this is not his choice to have a kid and didn't want to have another after his son. I want to believe we can work it out but I don't know at this point. I agree I think you should really only be with someone if you love them.