Question for veteran mommies

• 08-27-2009 10:29 PM

  In reply to

  BrittanyandCedsBaby Joined on 07-31-2006 CA Mommy to Gideon, Wife to Cedric, Due 1/22/10 Posts 959	Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact OH MY GOSH! I completely forgot about the Tucks! I did that too! They showed me how to put them on the pad in the hospital. OH That felt so Good, especially since it was Winter and they stayed nice and cold in the drawer in my bathroom. Good, GOOD idea for the hospital bag!!!

• 08-28-2009 7:06 AM

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  Briana888 Joined on 07-15-2009 Los Angeles, CA Posts 409	Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact I cannot thank you ladies enough! All of this useful information is acutally making me tear up. I lost my mother when I was a teen so I'm not fortunate enough to have her around to ask these questions too. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. I love this board and I'm so happy that you all are willing and eager to share your experiences.

• 08-28-2009 8:09 AM

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  KandyMx's3 Joined on 01-30-2008 TX Posts 269

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact If your BFing and the doctors give you any kind of pain medication (i.e. Hydrocodone or Tylenol 4) it will go through your breastmilk and the baby will get some of the meds too. I didn't know this with my last son and I was taking Hydrocodone for the lower region pain and I noticed that he was sleeping ALOT more than usual and he was not moving at all while he would sleep. Really freaked me out. Turns out that if the meds make you sleepy imagine parts of that same amount being passed to your baby. It's totally safe for your baby, but can scare you b/c they tend to sleep quiter and for longer periods of time. Also, take your own cotton panties to the hospital with you that you don't care about getting ruined. The fish net granny panties the hospital gives you are the worst IMO.

• 08-28-2009 8:47 AM

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  julesnac Joined on 05-06-2009 Michigan Posts 205

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact this is great refresher advice, even for us veteren mommies!! i forgot about a lot of this LOL just goes to show that all that stuff doesn't stick in your memory as much as the goods parts :) water bottle & tucks are definitely a must! also with that numbing spray. i had a 4th degree tear with my 2nd & lots of stitches. so i was incredibly sore- tho not compared to my section! in addition to the water bottle cleansing i took a lot of sitz baths. just filling up you tub with a couple inches of HOT (course not to burn yourself...) water and sit for 5 minutes or so. not only does it clean better (sort of swish the water around the 'area' and it'll clean amazingly!) but it also improves circulation to the area for healing. one of the tricks the nurse in the hospital showed me was to fill the inside of a diaper with ice (they can supply all this there too)  and put the whole thing length wise inside the mesh panties (or your own if their big enough. i preferred the mesh ones for better air circulation & ease of removal lol) in those first couple days at the hospital with a tear like that i was very very swollen & sore. it really helped to reduce the swelling & likewise the pain. ya you feel like you're walking around with a loaded diaper in your pants & well... you are! but it helped! the other thing i can say is to remember to stay hydrated! drink lots of water & juice to keep your bladder & insides working. the more you do, it will help clean out anything that got blocked up inside during the stress of labor (even a section to get things working again) and reduce bacteria that could be hanging out in there. also, the first poop is painful if ripped or torn. staying super hydrated helps, i also took laxatives for a couple weeks until i wasn't as swollen / sore that it was easier. a week or so after i went to my ob cause i thought my stitches were infected. he touched the area & i nearly jumped off the table! he laughed & said, jules go get some prune juice you're constipated! i felt so silly :) but none the less, i learned my lesson. i basically stayed on a liquid type diet; soups, yougurts, fruits / veggies until i passed a few good bm's and slowly worked to eating solid foods. especially if you have a section too, eating foods that are easily digestable is good avice. anything that gives you gas or makes you constipated you will regret! i also took from the hospital the 2 oz pre made formula bottles (since both of mine were formula fed too but may be a good idea even if you want to bf with some of the other comments i've read here). it saves the middle of the night fumbling to mix formula and 2 oz is a good size for the little ones cause they won't eat that much as newborns & you don't waste as much. we kept ours room temperature & they ate it that way, there is no need to have it warm unless they prefer it that way.

• 08-28-2009 11:14 AM

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  Denise1679149 Joined on 09-05-2006 Alberta, Canada Posts 272

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact Breastfeeding can be extremely painful and extremely difficult for some women, and if it is, I would encourage you seek out professional help ASAP. You will hurt for days if not weeks afterwards. It will be hard to have bowel movements. You will bleed for weeks afterwards. You will loose all modesty about your body, people will ask you normally awkward questions and everyone will see your private areas, it isn't weird for them so don't let it be weird for you, and at some point you will just stop caring. You will most likely cry over something. You may not sleep for days afterwards. You will most likely at some point ask yourself why you did this. Things you said you would never do, you will do, possibly out of desperation. There is a good chance you may vomit at some point during or after labour. Make sure you eat a meal that will give you lots of energy before you go to the hospital, because you have no idea how long you will be able to stomach food again. You will mess at least two gowns in some way, so you the hospital gowns as much as possible. Have a plan, but try to just go with the flow. If you have a vaginal delivery you will have to wear extra absorbent pads for weeks afterwards, you may want to stick them in the fridge or freezer because they will help soothe your painful areas, same with breastfeeding, if you use cotton pads spritz a little water on them and stick them in the freezer.

• 08-28-2009 11:19 AM

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  AussieH Joined on 03-22-2003 Seattle, WA Posts 261

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact Great idea!  This might be a good thread to pin!  I'm going to put things in here as I remember them.  After I gave birth, the nurses put an almost frozen pad in my underwear.  When I saw them preparing it during labor, I thought I wouldnt be able to stand it.  It was soooooo nice!  It wasn't too cold, or uncomfortable.  Considering you just had your 'hoo-ha' stretched to high heaven, you culdnt probably stand anything!  But it really was sooooooo nice!  So you could ask them about that.  I'd read about Tucks and Witch Hazel (even had them on hand, but never used them)  Squirt bottle is nice too!  Even cooler water helps. Oh... and after you have your little one (VB), you will bleed quite a bit.  I was always told that it can last up to 6 weeks.  Also, if youhave any clots bigger than a golf ball, to contact them.  I had ones that were about the size of a ping pong ball, but everything was ok.  And I never bled till 6 weeks, but I think that might be the far end of the 'normal'. Cramping after you give birth is normal too.  Almost immediately your uterus will start to contract to go back down to its previous "tiny" (compared to the size at 9 months) size.  It can get painful, so often at the hospital they may offer you something for the pain/discomfort. That feeling when you first see your child.... first touch them.... first hear them cry.... you will NEVER forget.  The emotions you may feel run through you are off the charts.  With my first son, I expected I was going to cry when I saw him.  I didnt till later coz when I looked at him it felt like such a wonderful awesome dream..... it was all so sureal.  I didnt want to let go of him.  I did however cry with my 2nd child (another son).  And there is NOTHING wrong with feeling proud of yourself after you have given birth.  The whole pregnancy thing is not a walk in the park, let alone giving birth.  No matter what someone says to you, if you want pain meds (epidural), do it.  I had my mum tell me I wasn't experiencing child birth having it.  Sorry, but I think that is garbage.  I know if I am in pain, I lose control, and I wanted to remain in control.  I had epi's with both boys and will do it again with this one. You can NOT give your baby too much attention.  They are only little once..... and your dishes and housework, can sit a little longer while you spend some precious time with your baby.  It will still be there when you get round to it.  Enjoy every single moment of it.  You wont get them back (sadly).  And you can't take too many photos either!!!!!

• 08-28-2009 12:09 PM

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  Diane2577898 Joined on 05-26-2009 Cleveland, Ohio Posts 271

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact Boy - you ladies have some great memories... I just have a few comments to add...the feeling after that baby is born is COMPLETELY overwhelming...I remember the first thing I said to Richie after Christian was born, was I cannot even imagine not doing this again...Pain - Schmain...it was the most WONDERFUL moment EVER! Second...after you deliver - the nurses push on your tummy and gush..out comes all kinds of crud..such a weird feeling... and I never knew they would do that... Also -- if you push alot you could POOP while you are deliverying baby.. It did not happen to me .. but it is not unusual..nurses act as if it didn't even happen. The baby's first few poops are really nasty too.. as someone else already said... you would not believe how much poops and peas become part of your moment to moment conversation... I tracked when he went, #1 and #2 and it was like all we talked about! & your first POOP after delivery... It is a very scary POOP... the fear of pushing really bothered me.. so take the laxatives they give you and just let it happen... See POOP POOP POOP... The peri bottle is really wonderful... and the sits bath... very soothing...also I know you want every minute with the baby... I did... but the nurses are not waiting for you at home, so if they offer to take the baby to the nursery at night for you to sleep...DO IT! you don't get that offer at home! Breastfeeding is a difficult start...but so worth it... and you will have ZERO decorum during labor and delivery and even after ...every one and their brother sees your whoo whoo and you wont even care! Trust me!

• 08-28-2009 12:15 PM

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  LouisianaLady Joined on 05-12-2009 Louisiana Posts 239

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact Aussie is right, does anyone know how to pin this post? this has turned out to be a blessing in disguise! ok, reading this brought up so many more ideas... so, the nurses will give you some stool softners while you are in the hospital... TAKE THEM AFTER YOU GET HOME! haha, if you dont, you will be soo sorry. take them for a few weeks even. i didnt with my first because he was sick and preemie and re-admitted for emergency levels of jaundice and i forgot all about me. TMI WARNING! a few days later, i was needing to go to the bathroom, and could not. i spent hours trying, and could not. my mother had to load me up with medicine, fiber, prune juice, everything we could think of. i finally had to resort to suppositories, and though i was relieved that i wasent in pain anymore from it, it still hurt like crazy, and i ripped. sorry if that's too much info, but its true and will happen!! i also remember the cramping. your nurse might massage your uterus a few times a day (mine did). take advantage of the nursery at the hospital during the nighttime! i usually keep my baby in the room all day long, but i only have them bring him to me to breastfeed in the middle of the night. if you plan to breastfeed, tell the nurses, because they might give your baby formula or sugar water in the nursery if the baby gets fussy and you are resting. and try to limit your guests, or at least limit the time they will spend there with you at the hospital. let them know that info ahead of time. they will stay wayyyy to long, and they will hold your baby so much, he/she will start screaming when you put him/her down, and you will be miserable. i made that mistake with my firstborn. people were there from the moment i went in to have him, until the moment i left, and i was flat exhausted, and i GUARANTEE you that they all wont be at your house willing to take care of your baby so you can rest and recover when you leave the hospital. i limited guest-time with my second son and all was MUCH better, and they will understand. oh, here's some really good advice. either cook a weeks worth of dishes ahead of time and freeze them, or let someone else cook for you every night, because you will not feel good enough to do it. we froze some good stuff like beef stroganoff, homeade soups, side dishes, so that we didnt have to eat greasy fast food every night, and we didnt have to suffer through cambells soup for dinner. haha. sometimes family members may cook for you. my dad fried a turkey and made some side dishes and brought it over, and my mother b-b-q'd some chicken and had a cassarole. let people do this stuff for you! you will be thankful, and they really wont mind doing it.

• 08-28-2009 12:56 PM

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  stlcard_01 Joined on 08-31-2005 STLMOM to Christian 15, Brady 2 & edd 1/25/10 Posts 798

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact Diane2577898: Boy - you ladies have some great memories... I just have a few comments to add...the feeling after that baby is born is COMPLETELY overwhelming...I remember the first thing I said to Richie after Christian was born, was I cannot even imagine not doing this again...Pain - Schmain...it was the most WONDERFUL moment EVER! Second...after you deliver - the nurses push on your tummy and gush..out comes all kinds of crud..such a weird feeling... and I never knew they would do that... Also -- if you push alot you could POOP while you are deliverying baby.. It did not happen to me .. but it is not unusual..nurses act as if it didn't even happen. The baby's first few poops are really nasty too.. as someone else already said... you would not believe how much poops and peas become part of your moment to moment conversation... I tracked when he went, #1 and #2 and it was like all we talked about! & your first POOP after delivery... It is a very scary POOP... the fear of pushing really bothered me.. so take the laxatives they give you and just let it happen... See POOP POOP POOP... The peri bottle is really wonderful... and the sits bath... very soothing...also I know you want every minute with the baby... I did... but the nurses are not waiting for you at home, so if they offer to take the baby to the nursery at night for you to sleep...DO IT! you don't get that offer at home! Breastfeeding is a difficult start...but so worth it... and you will have ZERO decorum during labor and delivery and even after ...every one and their brother sees your whoo whoo and you wont even care! Trust me!   I was going to add that too.  Use the nursery!  I was there for a week after my c-section and the first 2 days, I had energy but then the crash came.  DH didn't understand at first why I needed a few hours straight of sleep b/c who wouldn't want to be with that beautiful new little creature but after we got home, he completely understood.  Love sitz bath!  I still do that sometimes, it's quite refreashing. lol  Also - on the BF note - I for one never produced milk with either of my pregnancies but I did try to bf.  Use the lactation coaches -they are wonderful people but also do not feel bad if you are unable to do it. Also, my entire flippin family wanted to hang out at the hospital while I was there. I have 3 aunts & 2 cousins that work there and although it's great to see them and they can hold that little guy, you need to also set limits that you are comfortable with - this is a very special bonding time with your kiddo so you call the shots.

• 08-28-2009 3:29 PM

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  Sherrikay Joined on 06-19-2009 Anacortes, WA Posts 322

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact I haven't read the rest of the responses, but here are my thoughts and suggestions! 1. After birth, the blood that they say is like a heavy period...um... Niagara falls. It was gross, and it was a lot, and it was never ending!!! 2. The bathroom after. When you get up to pee, be prepared. (If you deliver vaginally) I did tear, and that itself was uncomfortable, but what I didn't think about was how much it would hurt to pee. The ammonia in te urine BURNS SO BAD. You really have to breath through it! And also, you cant wipe right away, so they will probably give you a peri bottle. (A spritz bottle to clean yourself off. ) 3. Sleep. I was so nervous with my son that even when he slept, i didn't. I will still be nervous this time, but I know how important sleep is! I'll also not be the only person taking care of this LO, so that's going to help, too. 4.be prepared. knowledge is power. . . The less fearful you are, the better your experience will be. 5. focus. don't scream, it takes away energy from the labor and delivery :) I sound like A BOSSY COW KNOW IT ALL!!! LOL! GOTTA GO, BUT HOPE THIS HELPS!

• 08-29-2009 8:08 AM

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  BrittanyandCedsBaby Joined on 07-31-2006 CA Mommy to Gideon, Wife to Cedric, Due 1/22/10 Posts 959	Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact I can have this pinned if you guys like...? Ok?

• 08-29-2009 10:53 AM

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  MamaJunebugJones Joined on 05-21-2009 EDD 1/28/10 Posts 192	Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact I wish I would have known just how much a baby COMPLETELY changes your relationship with you husband/spouse/boyfriend/whatever.  It is usually very dramatic and unexpected.  I highly recomment that att new mamas read Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf. Very good reading.

• 08-29-2009 4:09 PM

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  AussieH Joined on 03-22-2003 Seattle, WA Posts 261

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact I know with breastfeeding you will hear lots of contradicting advice - I know I did.!  And when things were not going like I was told they would, I started to worry.  But I do believe that if you think things are going good, and baby is thriving.... then chances are things are going good.  I was told that you had to fee a min of 15 mins per side on each feeding.  (I know advice on bf'ing has changed since I took these classes 6 years ago.. but still..).  My sons only fed for about 15 min at a time!  And they still only needed to be fed every 3-4 hours.  I guess they were power suckers of my let down reflex, really let down and I was providing good milk.  My sons thrived!!!  Of course I did switch sides each feeding.  But if you find that something you were not told, works for you.... it is ok.  If you andbaby are good.. then all is good.  :-)  I dont want to step on any bf'ing "pro's" out there, I am just a mum speaking from experience.  I do think I was very fortunate to have such a good experience bf'ing.  (well I did have blocked ducts once or twice, but over all a good one.)  Weened each boy at 18 months (mutual decision with them and I, luckily). Also, I want to say, that if for some reason you can't b'feed... it does NOT make you any less of a mother or provider.  I have seen this happen to many moms (friends).  They tried and tried, and felt devastated they couldn't.  As a mother who has b'fed, I would never think any less of a mom that didn't, by choice or not. Good luck to all of you!

• 08-29-2009 6:47 PM

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  Bethie2584 Joined on 01-31-2008 Tampa, FL Posts 65

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact MamaJunebugJones: I wish I would have known just how much a baby COMPLETELY changes your relationship with you husband/spouse/boyfriend/whatever.  It is usually very dramatic and unexpected.  I highly recomment that att new mamas read Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf. Very good reading. This is so true! I think I absolutely hated my husband for a few weeks! I just couldn't understand why he felt like he could sleep through everything at night! I would sit in bed and stare at him sleeping while I am nursing our baby and just think "I hate him!" But things settled down and I of course got over myself and we talked about things and all is well! Of course after having two I think I may feel the same at some point!:) I also found it difficult to get along with my cats after having a baby. Everything they did just annoyed the crap out of me and I just couldn't handle them anymore. It was a weird feeling too b/c we had then since they were tiny little kittens. We eventually ended up giving them away. One started peeing on everything and the other just hid all the time, but left hair balls everywhere. I just couldn't deal with it anymore after having a baby to take care of. I sound like such a horrible person...but I really am not! Having a baby does change you alot!!! I think back how stupid and selfish I was!

• 08-29-2009 7:32 PM

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  KandyMx's3 Joined on 01-30-2008 TX Posts 269

  Re: Question for veteren mommies Reply Contact Oh yeah, after you have the baby KEEP DOING KEIGEL'S!!! You stay loose down there for a while and for the first couple of weeks or so...on top of bleeding to death...when you sneeze, cough or laugh you can pee on yourself! So strengthen those muscles back up. Like one of the other posts said when you first start getting mobile if you deliver VB you will feel like all of your insides are going to fall out of your hoo haa. So, take it easy!!!! Move like an old lady and drink LOTS of water to keep the ammonia out of your pee so when you do have to go to the bathroom it won't burn AS MUCH.