is he insensitive or am i crazy?

• 11-04-2009 10:44 AM

  mommy_2_3_girls Joined on 08-31-2008 Huffman, TX Posts 123

  is he insensitive or am i crazy? Reply Contact ok so the comments from my fiance are driving me insane. im pushing for a vbac if the doc will agree (she wants to see how the pregnancy progresses before she makes a decision) while he wants a c section...his reasoning is so we can pick the date and not have to deal with my labor pains, the wait, ect...my due date is on the 4th but he wants me to schedule a c section for valentines day because it would be cool to have a baby on vday! mmmkk i agree it would be cute but i want her to come when she is good and ready and not a day sooner unless it is medically necessary. am i just crazy or is he being way insensitive about this? this is my last pregnancy and i would like to enjoy it but hes making it difficult...grrr men.

• 11-04-2009 12:12 PM

  In reply to

  chaya2588859 Joined on 04-01-2008 Posts 7

  Re: is he insensitive or am i crazy? Reply Contact Men like things easy and can be way to logical that they don't consider our emotions or other important aspects (like whats best for you and your baby)-grrr. Would be cute- but stick with your gut feelings. Vbac will be a much easier recovery for you and better for your baby. Try and explain to him the pros and hopefully he'll come around.Good luck.

• 11-04-2009 8:30 PM

  In reply to

  brittani2870156 Joined on 06-12-2008 Posts 35

  Re: is he insensitive or am i crazy? Reply Contact I'm sorry you're going through this he should support you no matter what you decide I'm tired of men thinking c sections are easier when the recover is so hard! My husband always makes stupid comments saying that I didn't actually "give birth" because I had a c section of course he never mentions the 18 hours of excruciating labor I went through before the doctors made me have a c section ... Don't listen to him sweetie if a vbac is possible go for it! You are the one carrying this baby and you deserve to have your wonderful birth ... Don't worry if its inconvenient for him:) he'll get over it just like we have to get over all the back pain and morning sickness! Good luck with everything!

• 11-04-2009 8:39 PM

  In reply to

  Sherrikay Joined on 06-19-2009 Anacortes, WA Posts 326

  Re: is he insensitive or am i crazy? Reply Contact Tell him that a Vday Bday is TERRIBLE! In theory, it's cute, but you'd never get to go out as a couple for a romantic Vday date...you'll be stuck at Chuck-E-Cheeze and toting around all her friends to her parties...and she'll probably have a hard time getting older friends together for her birthday, because by the time she hits 15-25 they will be out on THEIR own dates. I mean, besides the fact that you're totally right (IMO) about the timing needing to be when she's darn good and ready and all that, maybe he'll see this as a good argument?? I dunno. Good luck. men are poop-heads!

• 11-05-2009 7:47 AM

  In reply to

  Maurey Joined on 02-27-2006 Posts 229

  Re: is he insensitive or am i crazy? Reply Contact men just don't understand.  Try expalining to him how much longer the recovery is etc. and how instead of being in the hospital for 1 day after baby is born, you will have to stay for 4 or more,  and like others hav said try to tell him its a major surgery with lots of recovery time, etc.   I say go for your VBAC and hopefully he will understand when the time comes that this is what you want to do and the baby will come when she is ready.

• 11-05-2009 10:11 AM

  In reply to

  mommy_2_3_girls Joined on 08-31-2008 Huffman, TX Posts 123

  Re: is he insensitive or am i crazy? Reply Contact thanks ladies. i didnt think i was going insane. hes seen what c section recovery is like because both his daughters were born by c section because their mom was petite. i understand the risk of a vbac for myself but i think the decision should be made by my doc and myself. the only reason i had a c sec with my daughter lexi is because after 12 hours of active labor she didnt budge more than 7 cm. i had no choice but in no way did i go into the hospital saying cut me open. anyhow, my theory is until we leave the hospital he has no say so over anything.