Missing my partner and feeling lonely

• 07-04-2008 7:08 PM

  Cass080608 Joined on 04-25-2008 Posts 2

  Missing my partner and feeling lonely Reply Contact ... I feel sortof stupid just typing this out as I'm sure that I'm no where near depressed enough to warrant the lable. I don't cry all the time or have trouble getting out of bed... I just get really run down. I do admit that sometimes, only when I'm alone, I have a bit of a cry. Specially if Talie's feeling a little grumpy and is having a cry too. I catch myself trying to reason with her, which at 2 weeks old is a complete waste of time and then of course I feel stupid for trying it. Mostly I just get lonely. I'm breastfeeding which means no one else can take her when she's hungry, every single time she wakes up (every 3 hours at the least) I'm the only one who can do anything about it. My partner is wonderful but he can't really help there, and he always winds up falling back asleep while I'm trying to calm her down and get her to settle again. He sleeps so deeply that sometimes he doesn't even grunt and roll over... I couldnt stand sitting in a dimly lit room with her while he was asleep so now I spend most of my time downstairs in the livingroom with her so at least I can do something while she's feeding, but of course that's made its own complications. My partner and I don't fall asleep together anymore, and laying in bed together having a snuggle was always a huge part of our relationship before, but I can't go back to trying to settle her in that room with him asleep... it makes me feel to depressed. I'm really not sure what to do, has anyone else had this problem?

• 07-14-2008 2:45 PM

  In reply to

  rustyday Joined on 05-30-2007 Utah Posts 11

  Re: Missing my partner and feeling lonely Reply Contact I understand. I give up breast feeding at about three weeks. I couldn't handle the lack of sleep and my breasts hurt soooo bad. I was exhausted and trying to recover from a csection. I felt horrible when I give up breast feeding. And my depression just started to get worse. Some thing that worked for us was I would go to bed at nine and Dh would put my son to sleep. Alot of nights that didn't work so I would take over at like midnight or one am just depending on when I would wake up. That way I would get some sleep. That helped alot. Just know that it gets better she will start sleeping longer thru the night and eventually give up the late night feedings. I don't know how you feel about pumping but that might be a good idea so that dh canhelp out alot. My Dh sleeps super well thru the night and NEVER hears my son. Now that my son doesn't have a late feeding it just takes a binkie to put him back to sleep. I have to actutually wake dh up to go take care of him on the nights I have to get up the next morning to work. It does get better though I promise.

• 07-14-2008 6:59 PM

  In reply to

  Cass080608 Joined on 04-25-2008 Posts 2

  Re: Missing my partner and feeling lonely Reply Contact My DH takes her when he can. I tend to pass out at about 7 in the evening and he tries to look after her. My father lives in an ajoined flat to ours so he's around a lot to help. I guess my main problem is how removed i'm starting to feel from everyone else. Those two juggle Talie between them while I get some sleep but of course that means that when I'm awake, usually they've gone to get some sleep themselves. I do want to use a pump so that my DH and my dad can feed her sometimes, at least then I could get a straight 8 hours even if it's in the middle of the day, but all the midwives said not to try that until after she was 6 weeks old. When I asked about it they acted like I'd asked when I could start the ritual torture! Is it really that bad for her to have her dad and poppy give her a bottle once or twice a day while I'm breastfeeding?

• 08-12-2008 11:37 AM

  In reply to

  laura2676688 Joined on 05-28-2008 Posts 7

  Re: Missing my partner and feeling lonely Reply Contact hi my name is laura and i also have that problem the one where your other doesnt hear the baby but all the baby has to do is coo and you hear it it wears very thin and also causes fights but just so you understand i have a 13 yrs a 27mths and a 4 mths with the 27mth his name is billy i didnt make my husband do ant midnight feedings because he worked very early morning and i was breast feeding but in april when i had brody i had to say i cant do this because i work nights i do days with billy and it was wearing me way thin i just couldnt handle it so now we do every other noght is my husbands and brody can be in a full out scream and he (my husband ) will be snoring away all i have to say about it though is that it is hard and IT DOES GET WAY BETTER just hang in there .i say that but i have my days when both the boys cry and i cry with them because i dont no whats wrong .also i miss my husband alot he works alot now and i wont go back to work for 2more years because child care for 3 little one is very pricey so it would be like i was working to pay childcare i often feel like i just need a friend tounderstand me and no what im going threw it is very hard to be the june clever of the hear and now god bless that type ITLL GET BETTER I PROMISE HANG IN THERE