Cosleeping has come to an end... (sigh)...

• 06-18-2009 12:02 AM

  CrissiLovesDylan Joined on 08-23-2007 Washington Posts 53

  Cosleeping has come to an end... (sigh)... Reply Contact Up until last month, my 13 month old son slept beautifully beside me in our queen sized bed, between DH and I. He's still nursing, and it was sooooo convenient to have him able to access the boob at his leisure during the night, without even waking me up. More than that, it was so wonderful to wake up beside him every morning, chattering, crawling all over my face, and giggling and playing. When I gave birth, I never thought in a million years I'd be a "co-sleeper" who let the baby share our bed. We have a lovely wooden crib, that was all set up in his room, the walls painted blue wth little fish and turtles, a rocking chair, toy box, etc, a room that up until this last month, he'd never slept in once. I fought like a badger, against my friends and family, who misguidedly thought they knew best about the sleeping habits of someone else's baby. I don't regret one sngle moment, I have absolutely LOVED and cherished him wth me at night, and as a continuing breastfeeder, I really have come to feel that it is in our nature instinctually to sleep with our babies close by. The risk of SIDS drops dramatically in cosleeping infants, they breathe better and have better heartrates, mimicing their mothers, they nurse when they desire, they don't "cry it out" before bedtime, or fear the dark. It is amazing how things go just right, when we nurture our babies the way nature intended. But alas, I'm now ten weeks pregnant again, and about a month ago, I made the difficult decision to transition DS into his own bed, simply because he plays, kicks, and climbs on me, and I was a little worried about having to shield my uterus from him when I was asleep or not paying attention. I expected it to be hard on him, I expected a fight. But there wasn't one. The first nght, I nursed him until he was almost asleep, and laid him down in his crib, being sure to leave the door to his room and our's open, so I could hear him if I needed to. He slept quietly through the night, so quietly that it scared me a little, and I had to pop in every few hours just to make sure he was still there (lol). He slept nine hours that night, and every night snce. I'm amazed. I guess that it blasts in the faces of everyone who doubted me, and swore up and down that he would become too dependent on me at night, and never adjust to sleeping alone. I miss him a lot more than he misses me, apparently, because it's gone off without a hitch. I guess I'm just posting this for any other cosleepng moms out there who fear the transition, when it's finally time to do it. It has been an amazing year, with my baby in my bed, and I'll miss it terribly, but now I have another on the way, and I can't wait to do it again!!!

• 06-19-2009 11:08 AM

  In reply to

  Jennifer2700569 Joined on 01-09-2009 Posts 11

  Re: Cosleeping has come to an end... (sigh)... Reply Contact Hi, Your post is just what I needed! I, like you, never in a million years thought I would have a "co-sleeping" baby, but it has just turned out that way. I love it so much, but I realize I need her to be in her crib, but have no idea how I am going to do it. She is 8.5 months and she is so tight with her Mommy and Daddy I can't imagine how she will take the transition. You are so lucky that it was that easy. I would love to know how your baby's overall disposition is, if I knew it would go that smoothly I would wait until she's a year, but like you, everyone says it is going to be so hard, that she'll want to sleep with us until she's 5 and on and on! Would love to hear even more about how your whole process went. It is a struggle I deal with every day feeling like I should get her out of our bed!

• 06-19-2009 1:14 PM

  In reply to

  CrissiLovesDylan Joined on 08-23-2007 Washington Posts 53

  Re: Cosleeping has come to an end... (sigh)... Reply Contact Generally, DS is kind of a momma's boy, he doesn't do very well with babysitters, and he's still a little clingy, that was why I thought it would be really hard to put him in hs own bed. He does wake periodically, or fuss a tiny bit sometimes when I'm first putting him down, but never for more than a minute or two. I've never believed in the "cry it out" method, I really think it hurts a baby emotionally, to beg and plead for his mother, and be reinforced by her ignoring him. Of course there is also a time that comes, when a toddler isn't a little baby anymore. So even if I hear him wake up in the night, I wait a few minutes in silence, for him to go back to sleep on his own, instead of rushing to him when he really doesn't need me. So far, he's never stayed awake more than a few minutes, or I defnately would go to him. All babies have the desire to sleep with mommy and daddy, where it's safe, warm, and there's milk, but at a certain age, they sleep really well, maybe because after starting solids, they don't really need to eat during the night anymore. Really, I guess it's just about fnding that balance, when you're both ready, and you'll know when your baby starts giving you signs. Signs being, when they wake up less and less to nurse, and the nursing is brief or weak, indicating it's just for comfort and not truly to eat. Or like with my baby, he started rolling into strange positions to sleep on his belly, with his arms and legs splayed out, like a huge bedhog. I knew he needed more space to sleep in, and his crib certainly offered that. I have to admt, I do sleep much better, not having to always keep one ear listening for DS to shuffle around in the bed at night, and DH and I have much more "mommy and daddy time". Don't worry, though, it'll happen when it happens, and when you're both ready for it to happen. Thhe first night might be weird, especially if the baby wakes up startled to be in a strange place, but rest assured, if she's tired, and the room is as warm and dark as you keep your bedroom, she'll go right back to sleep with minimal fuss. I guess the point is, don't be bullied by people who think they're "experts". Nobody is more of an expert on your baby, than you are! Good luck!!