why i suck as a mom...

• 10-28-2009 5:03 AM

  Kimberly2670453 Joined on 02-21-2008 Wisconsin Posts 2,866

  why i suck as a mom... Reply Contact  because in trying to do everything for them, i am doing nothing for them.  and i really hate it! we signed up for soccer for both (different teams), yoga for both (same class), ballet for oldest, and oldest is in therapy.  plus the usual school things and dr appts, etc.  we did this with the understanding that dh would be home to help on mon and wed, but not tues and thurs. (fridays off) well, dh has not been home those nights, so it has mostly been on me.  i am so stressed out that it really sucks.  soccer takes up 2 nights/week AND all of saturday morning.  instead of spending time together making halloween treats, i was up at 11 making them last night.  i'm so constantly tired that even when they are in good moods, i find myself yelling at them to be quiet.  and when they should be outside playing (during the last few nice days of the year), instead they are inside making lunches, getting things ready for the next day, and showering at 5, yes, 5 pm, because by the time we get home from that evening's activity, it will be time for bed. i am saying all of this now b/c all of a sudden, this morning, i realized how much harder coraline makes it...  i almost cried when she woke up at 6:30 instead of 5:30 this morning.  I am so set in my morning routine that I have to feed her at 5:30 and put her back to bed so that my day can start at 6 without having to juggle her.  it's just not fair to any of us. sorry, i just needed to cry for a minute.  dh keeps telling me to quit something, but i don't feel like i can quit when we already paid, and we have no money to begin with.  plus, soccer is done this week, and yoga is done in a couple more weeks.  the kids keep asking me to do more and more things, and i just look at them and ask "when do we have time for that?" he also tells me that i need to stay positive, blah blah blah.  but i just feel like i can't do any more. we had always said one team activity and one, intellectual activity for each kid, but somehow things got out of control this year.  m used to take art classes and e used to play the piano, but we ran out of time for those.  last year they took spanish after school, but even the thought of that almost pushed me over the edge.  anyway... i need to get moving or i am going to be late.  thanks for listening.

• 10-28-2009 7:41 AM

  In reply to

  arna Gunnur3170952 Joined on 12-16-2008 Reykjavik Posts 681

  Re: why i suck as a mom... Reply Contact  Oh Kim you are a wonderful mom! You can't be super-mom all the time. Try to get DH to take the kids for soccer on Saturday and have some time off for your self. I think it's awesome that you want all these activities for your kids but at what cost? It's not the money that matters when raising a child, it's the love and time you have with them, I come from a really broke home and growing up I had no idea we were poor, I had all I needed in my parents and friends. Hang in there, I understand you not wanting to quit anything 'cause it's all ready paid for. So chin up hun' you can do it for a few more weeks, and then dump all the kiddos on Dear old Dad for a day and just go do NOTHING

• 10-28-2009 10:30 AM

  In reply to

  Cali Girl Joined on 08-16-2004 San Diego Posts 610

  Re: why i suck as a mom... Reply Contact I hope you're feeling better! I totally see how overwhelmed you are! You are an AMAZING MOM!! the fact that you put so much time, thought and effort into your family shows how much you care. Don't feel guilty about dropping some or all of the extra curricular activities, at least for a little while. With the holidays coming up and all the activities and projects you'll do with them at home, they'll be plenty busy and happy. And it's those moments they'll remember most and keep as tradition to share with their kids. The little things you do together are what you will all enjoy the best, especially if they don't add to the stress. :)

• 10-28-2009 4:51 PM

  In reply to

  Kimberly2670453 Joined on 02-21-2008 Wisconsin Posts 2,866

  Re: why i suck as a mom... Reply Contact  Thanks for the support ladies.  dd asked what i want for my birthday, and i told her i want one day where i don't HAVE to do anything.  and so... on my birthday, my kids are flying to VT for thanksgiving, and cory and i are staying home and doing whatever i want!  pretty funny that it worked out that way. also, with all these nursing issues, i am having troubles and need to fix them this weekend.  first, the lactation lady told me to single-side nurse, so my production went down.  then we found out cor is allergic to milk, so the month's supply of milk that is in my freezer has to be thrown away.   so...  since i have to rebuild my supply, but i am not making enough milk now, i told dh that cor and i are on a mission this weekend:  he is in charge of the older 2 and their activities all weekend so that cor and i can stay home and nurse/pump every 2 hours.  he said ok!  he is taking them to chicago for a concert friday night, then to soccer and to yoga.  the only time i am going anywhere is if the weather is nice enough for our halloween tradition of going to a corn maze!  yay!!  i also get to spend the "down" time doing some much-needed studying.

• 10-29-2009 11:10 AM

  In reply to

  Shan1021 Joined on 09-30-2008 N.Y Posts 3,064	Re: why i suck as a mom... Reply Contact  kim you are an amazing mom! you do so much for your children and they love you for it. i understand you being overwhelmed, i'm sure i would too. but you are so incredible with everything you are doing for them! we are always here to listen and support you. ::hugs::

• 10-29-2009 12:14 PM

  In reply to

  bales3137173 Joined on 11-22-2008 Finland Posts 231

  Re: why i suck as a mom... Reply Contact Kim just wanted to say I think you are amazing to be able to have managed all that you have these past few weeks/month/years...but rememebr what you told me about much needed 'you' time??!! Sounds like you may have some this weekend, but then pumping every two hours is not really what you can call 'you time' either....so I do hope you get it soon and well if you have to make it at the expense of some of the girls activities, I really think you should think long and hard about it :) Really like everyone says (including you) is that the calm happy mommy is the best mommy :) So you just hang in and be the amazing strong mom you are, but remember there is one of you and well you cant do it all..you are human!! (but in my mind to do all you do you have to have some element of superhero running through your blood as I cant even do that much with one kid!!)

• 11-03-2009 9:18 PM

  In reply to

  Michelle1614400 Joined on 08-07-2006 Orland Hills, IL Posts 17

  Re: why i suck as a mom... Reply Contact you sound like an amazing mom.  Your kids are lucky to have you.  But maybe you should start to slow down.  So many things and so little time.  The kids might need to understand that mom has to be there for ALL of her children.  This time of year maybe school is the best activity for them right now.  You have to take care of yourself.  I hope i am not being to rash.  But remember you are nursing and are a good mom.  Sometimes things don't go the way kids want them to but I am sure if you talk to them about what is going on about money and you needing to take care of the baby maybe they will understand... I hope i did not come off as being mean but i understand.  You need time.....

• 11-04-2009 8:50 AM

  In reply to

  danababyno3 Joined on 08-12-2009 Posts 6

  Re: why i suck as a mom... Reply Contact Kimberly, I have been a lurker since back in October 08 when I found out I was pregnant with a June Baby... but had to respond to you. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. I have 2 older dds and it is chaos & everything you have said is a ditto for me! Im with ya girl! Hang in there... it will get better. My dh always says don't try to be Superwoman & I get aggitated by that comment but know it is true. Breathe. Dana