What could you provide? Hmmmm. Babysitting service!
Seriously, I think that if you could connect with the man to get him to understand just how helpless and insignificant he is going to feel as soon as the baby is born, it would be less of a shock when it happens.
Now before I get lambasted, I understand why it happens, I understand that it needs to happen, and I understand that it is just a short-term event. However, if you cna get the men to expect it, it would be easier for them to adjust.
There are other things that I think need to be addressed but I never saw any mention of it in any child prep classes. For example:
1. Real Financial Information - I cna honestly say that when we found out my wife was pregnant with our daughter (17 years after our son was born!) I was shocked at just how much stuff cost. Sure formula was $25 a container, but I never knew that by 4 months we would be going through a container every 6 days! At 8 months, we are still going through a container every 6-7 days, 2-3 containers of babyfood (at $1.24 for 2) and a box of oatmeal cereal ($2.68 EA) every week. Granted, it's not thousands of dollars a week, but at $35/week it still surprised me.
2. Stress on the relationship - If you didn't have any martial issues before the baby, you will be shocked at the stress in the house after the baby. Waking up every two hours (at first), running around, dinner time....Nothing specific, but the tension is def. higher with an infant/pre-toddler. Your tired; your wife is tired. The baby needs to get fed and you still have everyday chores to get done after working all day. (This may only be a problem for 2-income familes that has their child in daycare)
3. Cost of Daycare - This completely shocked me (and also had me thinking about opening a childcare center!) $125 a week; $500 a month! (I guess this could fit under #1)
4. Doctor care: 1 week visit, 1 month visit, 2 month visit, 4 month visit, 6 month visit. Heaven forbid that the little one gets sick! Time consuming, but I couldn't imagine missing one of my daughter's doc appointments. (Also under number one at $35 co pay per visit, plus any medication!)
5. Teach new parents how to ignore all of the advice they receive from well intentioned family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. They all mean well, but they cause you to wonder if you are "doing it right." I believe that parents simply know what is best for their child. Get educated, yes. But don't try and do and act on every piece of advice you are given.
6. "Me" time. If there are other fathers that are like I am, 100% of my time is consumed with either work, my daughter, chores, or helping my wife. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine was getting ready to move out of state. I felt guility going out with him for a couple of hours on a Saturday night. I felt guility taking "Me" time.
Well, this post is long enough.
Erik