Working on it

• 05-30-2008 12:58 PM

  ~DarkMorningValley~ Joined on 09-16-2004 Jency6/30/05&Tesher12/31/08 Posts 1,414

  Working on it Reply Contact Hi my name is Adria. I have a 3 year old son.  We tried to get pregnant for 8 months (our time period for trying) and got pregnant but had a miscarriage.  So we decided to wait another 3 months before trying again and in the mean time finish all our stuff to become foster parents.  That way, right now, we could have a 3 year old and foster a 1 year old and then we would have a 4 year old a new baby and could foster 2 year olds.  That was the plan. Well we got pregnant 2 months before we planned.  Wasn't the best news because now we have decided to put the foster care on hold.  I don't know if we can get a 1-2 year old after this baby is born (or if we would want to) so that kinda destroyed all my hopes!  The reason we decided not to finish right now is because I don't think I could physically handle being pregnant, having a 3 year old, a 1 year old, doctor appointments, and visitations all at the sametime.  We have finished our classes and background checks, referrences, and had 2 home visits.  All that we have left is 1 home visit, the homestudy and our CPR classes.  We decided to go ahead and do the CPR classes this summer.  Then next summer all we will have to do is home visits, homestudy, and probably another background check. Next summer won't get here soon enough!  I am more excited about starting that then having this baby.  Is that bad?

• 06-03-2008 7:17 PM

  In reply to

  Anne100678 Joined on 12-07-2004 MN Posts 680

  Re: Working on it Reply Contact You could always finish it up and not take a child for a while. Or have you thought of doing respite? Then you don't have a long term commitment. It sounds like you have a lot to go through to become foster parents. All we had to do was watch some dumb videos, have 1 homestudy, have our water tested (we are in the country so we have a well) and have the firemarshall out. I don't know the situation of social services in your area, but generally I would say finish the licensing, and then just tell social services that you are not ready for a child yet. My one big advice would be to foster kids either way older or younger than your son. Disrupting the birth order is something that I never knew about till we took in a 3 year old with our 2 year old son last year. It didn't go so well, and then I learned that some adoption agencies won't place kids unless they keep the birth order of the family. So you couldn't adopt a child older than your own. It really does disrupt the family dynamic, and now we only take kids that are younger (which we don't do right now because we have a 4 month old) and kids several years older than him. Right now we have a 17 year old girl.

• 06-08-2008 9:35 PM

  In reply to

  Re: Working on it Mark as Not AnswerMark as Answer... Reply Contact hi there my name is Angie and i just wanted to say glad to see this board here. i have been on alot of the boards here since i had my dd 3.5 yrs ago.. so i am original member of March 2005 board but make long story short i had to have hystercetomy and after that my dh and i decided to get into foster care. my dh grew up in alot of foster care homes and he wanted to give back to others what he was given and that is a chance to be a kid and loved well we were approved last yr for it and omg the process was so long. we do it through CYS. and it took us few months to get all the trainings and clearances. well we got our first foster son last Mothers day and we have had him since then. and we are going to be Adopting him in July. we had no intentions of adoption but when we first got him we fell in love with him. he was 4 months old when we got him and needed to be loved so he could thrive. he has been in foster care since he was born. and the day we got him we told him that we were going to be his last foster home cause it was now going to be his home forever. it has been a long yr and we knew up front most likely he was going to be adoptable. we did do the visits with birth mom and well he never met his biological dad. our little boy has alot of issues and medical problems but that will not hold us back from adopting him. trust me i had alot of the CYS ask me if we were sure we wanted to adopt him. i thought they were nuts to ask me that of course we want him he is our son we do plan on trying to get some more kids. in fact we were to get siblings but the courts decided to keep them where they were at cause the parents were making a turn for the good. but we have not had any calls lately for any kids but we do hope to get the chance to do this again but i agree look into respite for weekends good luck with everything