What happened to the passion??

• 07-05-2008 9:54 AM

  becky2429117 Joined on 07-05-2008 nebraska Posts 10	What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact New baby, 6 months old. My husband has gone so gaga over this kid, that he ignores me. WE haven't had sex in 4 months!! I can't remember the last time we even kissed!! What in the heck has happened to him? Anyone else have an expierence like this? Help me rekindle the flame!!

• 07-18-2008 2:00 PM

  In reply to

  ASHLEY1648515 Joined on 08-22-2006 Posts 16

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact I have experienced this however it was the reverse, i went head over heals for our new son and totally lost sight of my boyfriend, I lost all passion for sex, and really could care less if he was there. I guess its really common, I havent heard it so much with males vs females, but trust me from my stand point the feeling really takes over your body and feelings. We are still together but the only thing that I really care about is me son, and it drives him crazy just as you are going crazy... Ill keep checking up on you to see if you get any posts, but all I can say is good luck!!

• 08-05-2008 8:41 AM

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  XnZsMomma Joined on 01-13-2008 Posts 28

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact I kind of have the same problem you do, but not because my husband has gone gaga over our kids. Our problem is more stress than anything. My husband has so much on his mind that his libdo seems to have all but disappeared. Because of this I feel like his passion for me has gone, but in reality, he is afraid of disappointing me. I would suggest planning a romantic evening. Is there someone who will take your baby? Or, plan it for after the baby is in bed. I found that if I went above and beyond my normal efforts, my husband was more prone to respond. I know it's hard when you feel that the flame is gone. I have two babies, the oldest is 21 months and the youngest 8 months and I am able to count the number of times my husband and I have had sex since my first was born, and I only need to use my fingers. But, because I have stepped up my efforts, three of those times have been in the last month and a half! Try sending him sexy messages through the day and then be there at the door when he gets home and greet him with a kiss of passion that lets him know what you've been thinking of, then follow it up with other kisses and touches throughout the evening. Then after your baby is asleep, slip into something sexy, or nothing at all, and really crank up the heat. Just remember that having a baby really does change everything, for you and your husband. It is going to take extra effort to make sure that you have time and energy to keep your romance alive. I would also advise you to make sure that you kiss him every day. If he goes for just a peck, pull him back into you, wrap your arms around him and let him know that he is still the love of your life. It might take time, but you will be able to find the balance between being parents and being lovers! Good luck!

• 08-05-2008 1:36 PM

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  SDelangel Joined on 09-11-2007 Posts 6

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact I tried doing all of that! I tried to even take over almost all of the babies needs just so he can have energy and he wont have an excuse to not make love. What happens when he says he does not feel it anymore. What happens when he says it's to much work. We have only been married for a year and we have a three month old. He started getting a little dry since I was pregnant. I'm not sure where the passion went. Did it ever exist? We've been together 3 yrs and he was never like that! I am depply worried. I do not want to be in a sex-;ess marrieage. I toleraded it with pain when I was pregnant because I thought it was a pregnancy thing, but what now?

• 08-05-2008 5:18 PM

  In reply to

  XnZsMomma Joined on 01-13-2008 Posts 28

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact I do know how you feel and how hard it is. I wish I had the solution. I, too, take care of all our kids needs, the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, fix his breakfast and lunches before he goes to work, and even all the work when it comes to the romance stuff. My husband has had problems with pornography and that may be part of the problem. I know our marriage hasn't been the easiest or the best, but we keep working at it. My husband wouldn't touch me while I was pregnant because he said it was too weird knowing his baby was inside, then breastfeeding has put a damper on things too. Have you tried asking him what would help him to feel it again? If his desire to even try is gone, maybe counseling would be an option. The romance/sex side of a marriage is important and can be indicative of the marriage as a whole, but a sexless marriage is more of a roommate situation than a marriage. I wish I could wave a magic wand and fix it for both of us, but maybe there is a little comfort knowing that we aren't alone!

• 08-07-2008 1:47 PM

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  stacey2519576 Joined on 08-07-2008 Posts 1

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact i wish i could understand why ? My boyfriend stopped having anything to do with me after i was 5 months pregnant .He would make excuses like it's his medication ,then it was he can't get aroused then he said it was the baby .He wouldn't touch me ,he never touched my belly to feel his son move .He stopped kissing me ,holding me ,i was so a lone during my whole pregnancy.Now the baby is going on 3 months ,he still hasn't kissed me or held me .He said if i need a hug i have to ask . He loves the baby ,he can't imagine life without him . He had me move in with him before the baby came ,now i feel the only reason i'm there is because he wants the baby there , i don't exist. my friends say it's because he doesn't want to pay child support . He barely talks to me ,he critizises everything i do .How can this be a healthly situation for the baby to grow up in ? He says we are a team ,we agreed to raise this baby together .I had no idea he would turn cold towards me . He said he could careless if he ever has sex with me ever again . The baby is number one ,nothing else matters period . He watches the baby when i'm at work during the day .Then when i get home he hands over the baby and takes off . The more i read what i'm writting i guess i know what i should do ,leave . I just wish i could understand what happened .

• 08-26-2008 7:19 AM

  In reply to

  lisa1031 Joined on 08-26-2008 Posts 1

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact Hey everyone! I am also going trhough this whole crazy thing with my husbad not wanting to touch me or have sex. Passion is comepletely gone for him. However this is not your fault. This has something to do with them, and it is caused by some intamicy issues. Having you both speak with a counselor or therapist can help find the root of the problem. My husband is either always tired, is in the middle of doing somethine, was about to go do something, the kids are around, or he stressed, or he has a headache. It does hurt, and we do feel like it may be us, but in reality it is not. Try to suggest getting some help in this area, because it will help, but it takes time.

• 10-18-2008 3:17 PM

  In reply to

  nicole1468224 Joined on 02-19-2007 Trinidad, West Indies Posts 15

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact I know what u mean, its like I'm not appealing to my boyfriend anymore. We have a two year old Son and we live together but he is always so tired and as soon as he gets to bed he is snoring. It is d worst. I dont know what the hell to do to turn him on and when he does come around he does not last very long.. maybe he has a medical problem and wont tell me.. I just dont know, I'm getting tired of this

• 10-20-2008 10:43 AM

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  Buttermilk Joined on 12-20-2007 Texas Posts 2

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact My situation is the oppisite. I wanted sex all the time and when I got pregnant I wanted it even more, unfortunatly my husband barely touched me after I got pregnant. He even made comments that he couldn't wait until I got my body back. I had a C-section so of course the healing process took longer. Seemed like as soon as I had our son my husband was all about sex. The first time was only a month after surgery and it hurt like hell. I toughed it out and kept trying but I'm just not into anymore. Our son is now 8 months old and I still seem like I have lost all passion for my husband. I don't know if it is burried resentment or just hormones....Any thoughts???

• 10-20-2008 10:59 AM

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  SDelangel Joined on 09-11-2007 Posts 6

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact Wow, it seems that you have inner issues. Whatever issues you have or feelings you feel you need to talk to your hubby. Don't just though it out, but talk it out. I have issues too, and talking it out seemed to help us. Our sex lives are better and I hope it stays that way. I know how you feel. It's not all about them and he needs to learn how to respect that!

• 10-20-2008 11:03 AM

  In reply to

  SDelangel Joined on 09-11-2007 Posts 6

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact Have you asked him. I asked mine and he said he would go to the DR. After a few days, he changed his mind and decided to do something about it. If my situation did not change, I was going to leave. Why would I want to live with a roomate that I did everything for. Ok, mostly everything. NO! I was not going to take that. There are a lot of men out ther and I know someone is going to want it. Not right away, but eventually.

• 10-20-2008 11:07 AM

  In reply to

  SDelangel Joined on 09-11-2007 Posts 6

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact That's great that there is someone to compare the situation with. I was serioulsy thinking my husband was gay/staight..or straight gay. You know sex and the city season one....Anyway, I could not stand the situation and I confronted him about it. I told him that I was not going to have a husband as a roomate. I have needs and they need to be met. If not I was out! We discussed that and other stuff and it seemed to clear up a little. I've been very patient. How is your situation now?

• 10-23-2008 11:03 AM

  In reply to

  Buttermilk Joined on 12-20-2007 Texas Posts 2

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact Thanks for the advise...I guess I still hold some resentment on how unsupported I felt being pregnant. I'm trying to let it go...I've brought it up to him before and he just shuts down and doesnt want to discuss it. At one point he even told me he was still not use to sharing me and was jelous of the baby. Our son is almost 9 months old! I just want to scream GROW UP! but I know that would cause another fight so I don't. Its just that I work all day and come home and try to be energetic and fun for our son and by time I get him off to sleep its almost 9:00 before I can just sit down and have a moments peace to myself...but wait here comes my husband, wanting sex. When can I just have a moment to myself and it not cause a fight. Oh in case I forgot to mention my husband is a fireman so he works 24 and off 48 so he gets the house all to himself four days a week, our baby goes to daycare. Maybe I'm just jelous of his alone time...lol

• 10-24-2008 11:37 AM

  In reply to

  SDelangel Joined on 09-11-2007 Posts 6

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact Hi! I can understand your situation. Why don't you tell your husband to help you with the baby a few hours a day when he is off. I t's only fair that he accepts. Tell him you love him and tell him that you would be in a better mood and have more energy if he gives you some help. Tell him you are in need of the help and hopefully he pitches in. My husband is a Marine Drill Instructor and he works a lot too. The days that he can help me, he tries. I don't care how much he helps me but he does. If he can, he gives me a few hours in the morning to sleep in a do whatever I want. I have to remind him sometimes because I get overwhelmed. I told him I need him and I need that support. If he loves you he will understand. Maybe you should schedule it in somewhere and have him help you! Good luck! Keep me updated. I know how tiring it is and I know how it feels working and doing everything else. Our job never ends!!

• 10-31-2008 10:08 AM

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  lorene2613068 Joined on 10-16-2008 Posts 4

  Re: What happened to the passion?? Reply Contact hey becky, i have some same situation a little while ago, please see responses from my situation. go under lorene 10/31, you will see. My finance works alot and provides for his family, i also have a 14 year old daughter that is wonderful from a different marriage. we all love each other and our little 3 month daughter Addisynn is a wonderful person to our family. i could not ask for a better baby. she even sleeps through the night since she was 6 weeks old, but give it some time. he also went to GA hunting last week ,and will be back tomorrow 11/1 and boy did we need the space, but i think in time, it will come back, try to be patient, like i am . i love the passion and everything that goes with it, but sometimes men think that there partners are to busy with the baby, and they do not want to disturb him. try some quiet time when the baby is sleeping and try something that will really excite him, like before. lorene