Need help getting dad involved

• 10-24-2008 7:44 PM

  Jess3005 Joined on 04-08-2008 Posts 2

  Need help getting dad involved Reply Contact   Thing is that I am afraid he will not know what to do if something were to happen to me and he needed to take care of our son. He knows how to change a diaper and has done great in the past with helping, but I fear something is missing. Well part of my concerns stem from his lack of trying to take care of our son. On the occasion my husband feeds him, he usually only succeeds in getting him to eat a few bites before giving up. One day, I just needed a break so I continually asked my husband to do things for our son. Change his diaper, feed him, give him his bath. My husband asked “why are you making me do all this?” Like I needed a reason. Thus, I told him that he is his father and he needs to help.   Also, I need help! I am getting so wore out and have no energy. My husband doesn’t seem to understand that it isn’t fair that he gets to take a nap anytime he wants and gets to enjoy undisturbed sleep. The few times I was able to get him to get up with our son, he requested a minute to wake up… my response, I don’t get a min to wake up… However, I got up and made the bottle and changed his diaper, and hoped my husband would be ready to take over from there. Luckily he was. Also, I have projects that require my going to the library and I cannot take my son to the library while I’m conducting research. My question here… how can I get my husband to realize that this is real and he needs to step up?   I just need some suggestions. Thank you all for your time.

• 10-24-2008 7:46 PM

  In reply to

  Jess3005 Joined on 04-08-2008 Posts 2

  Re: Need help getting dad involved Reply Contact Sorry I typed this in word and didn't copy the entire thing. here is the first paragraph.   Hello, My son is 5 months old. I am a full time mom and wife and a part time student. My husband and I moved away from all our family a little over a year ago for his job, leaving us with no babysitters or anything. My husband is a deputy and works 12 hour night shifts. 2d on 2d off 3d on 2d off 2d on 3d off. Most of the time he is home, he sleeps. I have finally been able to get him to start helping me keep up with a little of the cleaning. (dishes in dishwasher and his clothes in hamper).

• 10-25-2008 6:18 AM

  In reply to

  Deidre2399705 Joined on 09-24-2007 Baby Evelyn Born 5/15/08~Norfolk VA Posts 34

  Re: Need help getting dad involved Reply Contact My daughter is 5mo old as well :) I hope someone has some advice for you.  My husband just went to that schedule actually.  He's in the Navy and they just moved him over to security (he'll be there 6mo).  I'm also dealing with my husband not helping out much b/c he wasn't here for the birth or the first 8wks of her life, so he really has no clue AND he leaves all the time.  That makes it so super-duper hard for her to even get used to him. A major piece of advice is to find someone around that you may be able to trust to watch your son for 30min or so.  I actually used to have a friend come over sometimes just to watch Evelyn while I napped, so I was still home but someone else was there to care for her.  My friends have more patience with Evelyn than my husband, which is tiring and annoying. I didn't have a great night last night so I think I needed to get that off my chest heh. Anyway, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.  I say definitely keep that husband picking up after himself.  Even if he does it right before leaving for work.  I know when my husband came home this morning he was very exhausted.  I'll just have him pick up his crap when he wakes up before leaving for work again.  anyway, *HUGS*

• 10-25-2008 9:00 AM

  In reply to

  Lovin' my Kids Joined on 11-19-2006 Posts 216	Re: Need help getting dad involved Reply Contact Dads don't usually have the same bond and maternal instinct that women do.  What you may have to do is when Dad is home, you leave.  Force him to have to do the things that the baby needs.

• 10-30-2008 2:21 PM

  In reply to

  Cookiethief2 Joined on 12-18-2006 #1 5/17/06 #2 6/11/07 Posts 6,944

  Re: Need help getting dad involved Reply Contact Lovin' my Kids: Dads don't usually have the same bond and maternal instinct that women do.  What you may have to do is when Dad is home, you leave.  Force him to have to do the things that the baby needs.  Good luck!!  I have 2 kids, oldest is 2.5, youngest is 16 months.  Can I leave the house when DH is home?  Not unless I absolutely have to! lol Why? Because DH will complain about it.  *rolls eyes*  he's getting better, but it's taken 2.5 years!  Other than insisting that he do certain things regularly, I don't have any ideas for you.

• 12-28-2008 1:22 PM

  In reply to

  Monica1536949 Joined on 07-06-2006 Posts 3

  Re: Need help getting dad involved Reply Contact Just do it. When Dad is awake and you need some time for you JUST GO. Being a parent is a life long lesson and Dad needs to step up to the plate- if he feels insecure about himself as a parent that will change quick once he has a one-on-one experience with his child. Some people gender not specified, just cant get over not being able to be selfish(selfish is not a bad word in this case- it means that all they need to worry about is themselves). Dad may work 12 hour shifts but mom works 24 hour shifts- MAKE HIM SEE THAT. Not to brag but my husband knew more about children than I did when our son was born- I looked to him for help and guidance- he was a saint! When my friend had her son, my husband actually talked her man into letting us girls have a day out and a daddy day inside. It went great for both of them except that the other daddy freaked out about the breast milk... lol! But anyway like I said just DO IT. He'll have to get the hang of it sooner or later or its gonna take a helluva toll on your relationship.