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suffering from jealousy or paranoia?

Last post 10-17-2008 10:28 AM by Williams-Jones_Freda. 3 replies.
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  • 09-26-2008 10:31 PM

    suffering from jealousy or paranoia?

    My husband thinks I'm jealous and paranoid, and it's true, I am. But not without reason! I don't know what to do...I don't trust him anymore. He had many, many sexual experiences before we wre married, is pretty liberal about sex, and doesn't care what religion says about it. He says "your sex life is your own business- no one else's" I agree, but I didn't think he excluded me! I'll explain. I do have jealousy issues that I'm working on-it's true and here's why: When we were married he still felt for a lost love, someone who broke his heart, but he spoke about her fairly often, asked if needed in the next life- if I would accept her as another wife! Another ex he has is very beautiful and he often told me so. They're friends and that's fine, except that he lied about visiting with her. I know because I accidentally saw a text and then confronted him about it. The only problem is that he never thought what he did was wrong! Since then, I've tried to give him his privacy I really have, but when I suspect something, I've read his text messages and he never fails to give me something juicy! I think he's had oral sex with at least one woman since we've been married, but there's this other (another ex...) who he's always trying to get together with. She teases with texts messages but as far as I can tell has never agreed to meet him. I don't know what to do, he'll be so mad if I tell him I've read his texts once in awhile, but the real issue is that I don't think he sees a problem with infidelity (another example- the only he can think to spice up our sex life is to invite another girl!). We haven't had sex in almost a year (because I was pregnant and he refused as soon as we found out). I can't trust him anymore, and sometimes am filled with HATE! The worst part is--I don't thnk he has a clue that I feel this way. I don't know what to do. If it wasn't for the fact that we have two kids (1.5 yrs and 3 months) I probably would have left. Anyone with advice? I'm beside myself and very alone.
  • 10-06-2008 9:02 PM In reply to

    Re: suffering from jealousy or paranoia?

    From what I've read you have no reason to doubt yourself. He sounds like a man who is not ready to give YOU the attention you need and deserve as a wife and mother of his children. Girl, if he's out there messing around do you really feel comfortable with him coming home and kissing you and the kids? If you would like to try and move forward in your marriage try counseling but I would not continue to stay with someone like that. It's unhealthy for you and the children.
  • 10-07-2008 11:11 AM In reply to

    • Sarahkg
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 10-07-2008
    • Posts 2

    Re: suffering from jealousy or paranoia?

    I think you are very right to be paranoid. I wouldn't be able to deal with the things you say and I don't think you deserve that treatment. I couldn't imagine a man not wanting to have sex with you because you're pregnant. Only you can decide what is best for you and your children.
  • 10-17-2008 10:28 AM In reply to

    Re: suffering from jealousy or paranoia?

     

    I agree with the PP. You don't deserve this and...he sounds like he is still trying to soar his royal oats...You are only getting yourself into more heartache...You need to get out and fast w/ your children. Find yourself, find someone who will love you for you....set boundaries on what you will except and what you will not except...Don't just let anyone stump all over you like that...I used to be that way...True enough I'm having some problems but not like these that you are describing.
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