Sorry for the wait but I had to wait to get the picture disk to go with the story! ENJOY!
A bit of history....
I was done having babies after I had Viv. It was a miraculously healing birth that could never be topped. We were just waiting for Justin's over time to slow down so he could have a Friday off to get his procedure done. On October 20th I took a pregnancy test. I had been incredibly moody and my poor husband could do no right. So I took the test hoping that I really did not hate him and that there was something else going on. There was, It was positive. I was relieved that I was being a bit hormonal and crazy for a reason but I did not really want to have another baby. My doula career was just taking off and I could not imagine going backwards 3 years to having an infant. I was completely confused. I had fleeting thoughts of abortion or adoption but when I told Justin the news he helped me understand that this baby was our family and she was ours. We had been careful and she had found her way into our lives regardless. It took only a few short days for me to be ok with that.
The beginning of the pregnancy came with tons of morning sickness and even a trip to the ER for massive puking. This was fairly new for me. I had always had some morning sickness but nothing like this. It turned out only be be a nasty stomach bug that hit me hard. Thank goodness!
As time went on I had more than my fair share of body aches and pains. At times I felt as though my body was giving out on me. I trucked on knowing that this was the last time that I would have/or get to feel this in my life. An honor and a burden!
My babies have alway come before their due date so I really was unsure when our little babe would make her appearance. Unsure of when I actually got pregnant the confusion grew as time went on. About 10 days before the absolute latest due date I had I did a bit of a cervical check. I could feel what felt like a nose through my uterine wall. I called my family Dr, who knew and supported me in my choice to have an unassisted birth again. She saw me that morning. We checked for heart tones, which we finally found low, right above my pubic bone, and she did a vaginal exam. At first she thought she was feeling butt and heels. After my questioning about the location of the heart tones we decided that she was head down in a face or stargazing position. She reassured me that she could move and that as long as I labor upright, she could most likely be birthed vaginally. I was a bit concerned at first. I knew nothing about this presentation. I gathered all the information I could and decided to stay the heck out of my vagina at that point. She would come the way she needed to. I found a great thought on unassisted birth on the Hygeia site. It was talking about unassisted birth respecting each child's need to be born in their own particular way and learning to trust and respect that. Once I read that I felt a huge relief, it was the gentle reminder I needed that I could not manage this, just learn to listen to it.
Fast forward 9 days. I woke up and decided to check for her heart tones. Dh was still in bed asleep so I was quiet and tried not to wake him. He felt as though I was obsessing a bit (which I had been). I found something above my belly button on the right side. It was a totally new location. I quickly moved down to where I had found it in the last few weeks and bingo, heart tones. I was relieved and quickly turned it off chalking the higher tones up to placenta or cord. I took a deep breath and let it go.
I woke the next morning to a nasty bm and I thought, "alright let's get this going!" 30 minutes later I had my first hard contraction. I tried to sleep knowing that in the last few weeks I had woken to this several times and it always stopped. 30 minutes later here comes #2. Justin got up for work. As he was leaving the house I told him that I had a few contractions but not to hold his breath. But for sure keep by the phone at work. I feel asleep again. Interestingly enough I dreamed of repeated orgasms. I could only imagine it was due to my continued contractions. It was a nice morning. About 8 am I got up and they were still there. I called my aunt to see if she wanted to take the kids to that nature center for a bit of a walk to see where things went. She agreed and we met up a about an hour and a half later. We walked and by 11 we were headed home and Justin was on his way to fill up the pool for me. They were 3-4 minutes apart and a different kind of pain than I had experienced in the past. I figured it was due to her presentation. I had read that face presentation was more painful to birth. Once we got home I labored in the pool for a few hours. My aunt was there helping out with the kids (her''s and mine) and my Friends Becka came to take pics for me.
I handled that contractions well in the water and I had many little visitors to help me during this time. Piper stayed by my side non stop, getting me anything I needed and was amazing!
I was good in the water until about 2:30 or so. At one point in time I felt the need to check myself. As I did I felt something small wigging around. I was thinking that perhaps it was fingers. A few contractions later I went inside to pee. I soon realized that hanging from Justin's neck was a better position to be in I moved to my bedroom. Once in my room I felt a bit pushy. These contractions were actually getting me. I have never been got by labor. I found myself whining and complaining more than I ever have before. Me hands and knees was just not cutting it for me. I had the need to be over leaning the bed or flat on the floor. Very odd positions for me.
I found my self feeling increasingly pushy. As I checked for dialtion I could feel a bit of cervix with my bag bulging. I knew I had to wait. I knew that she was not in a "normal" presentation and her best odds of getting out well were to leave that bag as long as possible to ensure proper dilation. So I did.
A few contractions later I hit my brick wall. I felt a though I was not going to make it much longer. I checked again and felt no cervix. I believe my response was"oh *** yeah"
I asked Justin to peek and tell me if he could see what was going on. He said all he could tell was it was round. And he thought it was her head.
So I pushed....
Justin starts telling me"babe I need you to push." It gets louder and more authoritative. He repeats this over and over. "Babe I need you to push" I whined that I was trying. I wanted to take it slow to insure minimal tearing. It had already felt as though I had birthed 2 bodies. I was confused. I asked if her head was out at least. He said "No"
I got even more confused. I peeked back at him to realize that he was holding her feet and body.
"OH ***" was what I said next.
"NO *** Baby I need you to focus!" Focus and push her out!" He was calm yet forceful. I laid my torso on the the bed, grabbed the sheet and pushed with all I ever have pushed with.
She was out! It was a total of about 45 seconds from the time her feet came out to the time she was all out.
I crawled up on to the bed and asked for him to pass her to me.
She was covered in meconium and gurgling a bit. We did some suctioning and laid her over to try and get her to drain well. She took a bit of rubbing but pinked up well.
We all hung out in the bed peeking and meeting our new family member. She nursed for about an hour then we decided to cut the cord so I could get up and try to get my placenta coaxed out. Piper got to do the honors!
While I used my Birthing stool to wait for the placenta Justin got a more relaxed look at his last baby girl.
I waited a total of 2 and half hours for it but it finally came out in one piece. Rather small but healthy and vibrant in color! I love my placenta! I got a few bites down me but the texture killed me!
We are all so in love with her and simply astonished at the power of faith and love. We know that together we can do anything!
Our family is now complete!
Welcome baby Cricket!
We are so glad you've joined us!
Cricket LaFaye MacAoidh Hamilton
June 30th at 4:07 pm
7lbs 2 Oz
18 and 9/16th
After having a few days to process it, I believe that in my heart I knew that she was breech, but had it been medically confirmed she would not been born safely the way she was. I needed to "not know" to keep us both safe. I would not change one bit of it!!