Mixed feelings....

• 12-08-2008 6:08 PM

  Rebecca3029336 Joined on 09-12-2008 Posts 25

  Mixed feelings.... Reply Contact Well, I am back on here, and like I said in my other post Ryan and I chose to go through with the adoption process. And we picked a couple that we really want, but they have now been put on hold. Meaning they are unavailable to adopt for some reason. We are not allowed to know why, but we have to pick a secondary couple. I however am not dealing with this very well. We still talk to the primary couple, but I'm just so hurt that I don't even want to put the effort towards finding a secondary couple. It was hard enough for me to come to the conclusion of even placing our daughter. And now, the two things that I fear could happen, is happening. The couple we really want is unavailable, and I feel myself drifting away from the one man I love the most. I never wanted that to happen, but it is. Could it just be me over thinking things, or me just being too emotional, I don't know. The other thing that is on my mind is that all of my firends that are younger then me are all pregnant, and their boyfriends are sooo happy about it, and they are all excited and everything. They are all keeping their babies, and a couple of them are in a worse finacial situation then Ryan and I. To me it's not fair, and I just don't know how to coupe with it. Seeing all my friends having babies and them keeping them, just breaks my heart even more. Am I over looking all of this and being crazy?! -Rebecca

• 01-22-2009 3:50 PM

  In reply to

  Hope3041865 Joined on 01-22-2009 SD Posts 16

  Re: Mixed feelings.... Reply Contact No, you're not being crazy. Adoption is a very difficult decision, especially when it seems like everyone around you is pregnant. The decision whether or not to place your child for adoption is between you and your signifigant other only. Everyone will give their opinion, but you two need to do what is right for youselves and the baby. Lean on each other and be each other's rock. As far as the adoptive couple falling through, that actually happened to me 2 1/2 years ago. As hard as it was, we realized there had to to be some reason why they couldn't adopt. We ended up finding the most amazing couple to adopt our daughter.

• 01-28-2009 5:36 PM

  In reply to

  Natalie3063366 Joined on 01-29-2009 Posts 8

  Re: Mixed feelings.... Reply Contact Your feelings are absolutely normal. I'm sorry for your troubles with the adoption process. I would recommend, because I know how helpful it can be, seeking some counseling. There is usually some free counseling at adoption agencies or other helping agencies. Even just seeing a counselor one time could help you feel more settled about the decision and help you in hearing stories about other people who've been through a similar situation. You obviously love your daughter a lot. Thanks for sharing your story.

• 02-02-2009 5:02 PM

  In reply to

  Shawna3112583 Joined on 11-06-2008 ITS A GIRL!! Posts 3,277	Re: Mixed feelings.... Reply Contact do what will be best for the baby, are you going to beable to give her the life she deserves? if so then why not, but if you cant right now thats ok, some one out there need a baby and that baby may need them too

• 02-18-2009 1:23 PM

  In reply to

  Sylvia Lisette Joined on 09-30-2001 Elk Grove, CA w/5 beautiful babies Posts 32	Re: Mixed feelings.... Reply Contact I agree with the pp that you have to do what is right. If you know you will have help and think you may be able to give your little girl a good life then I would keep her. I was a young mom and thanks to my family I had no problems. Now I am happily married and am pg with #5.

• 02-22-2009 10:08 AM

  In reply to

  jessica3196491 Joined on 01-06-2009 Phoenix Due Date 12/17/09 Twins(one boy,one girl) Posts 169

  Re: Mixed feelings.... Reply Contact This has got to be the hardest decision you have ever been faced with.  I can't even imagine what you are going through.  I agree with everyone else and you need to do what you feel is right.  Follow your heart, only you can decide what is right for you and your daughter.  Just to give you a little look at my story... I was pregnant with my first at 16, my son was born when I was 17.  My family came around and were a huge support system, but I found a way to do it all on my own.  I then met my ex husband and we had two more little boys when I was 19 and 21.  We divorced when I was 23.  I love my boys more than anything and wouldn't change it for the world.   All the decisions I made were hard, but yours is the hardest.  I feel that seeing a couseler might help you alot and so maybe you should try that.  Let me know if you need anything or just want to chat.  Good luck with your decision.

• 03-13-2009 1:42 PM

  In reply to

  HootchyMumma Joined on 11-18-2008 Westchester, NY Posts 38

  Re: Mixed feelings.... Reply Contact Hi Rebecca, I am so so sorry you are faced with the difficult decision of placing your daughter up for adoption. Given the very difficult decision you face, I think it is only normal for you to have fears and doubts. Is the agency providing you and Ryan counseling? They should. I just lost my DD Isabella 6 wks ago when I was 17 weeks pg. I was due July 11th. Loosing a child is unimaginable for most people, but in your case if the family is right and you all feel comfortable with open adoption it may not be a case of losing your daughter but gaining a new family, of which you will play a very important role. Talk to the new couple and see if the fit works, you can wait untill you find the right couple. After 6 years of infertility and loosing Isabella my husband and I are looking into adoption. I know for us when we finally get to hold our baby we will love, cherish and nuture the baby with all our hearts. We will need a loving caring mother like you to make our dreams possible. I wish you lots of hugs and best wishes for finding your way through this difficult time. Lisa.