contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like?

• 05-08-2009 9:32 AM

  scarlet_willow Joined on 12-14-2007 James 23 July '08, Henry 26 Oct '09 Posts 984

  contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact I've been thinking about how I view the pain of labor.  I was wondering if you ladies could offer me any opinions.  I'm just looking for honest thoughts.  The main reason I want an epi is because I'm afraid of the pain of pushing the baby out and feeling myself tear.  Last time I had a second degree laceration and was pushing for 1 1/2 hr.  I had an epi, so i felt none of that.  I've read that with your second baby the pushing time goes down, but I'm still nervous about feeling myself tear- the thought of it alone horrifies me!  haha  If I didn't have an epi i know i could work through the contraction pain.  Last time my husband and i had a really good thing going.  We did the breathing exercises and he really helped me focus.  We were great as a team.  If he had to step out to go to the bathroom my mom or sister stepped in, which worked well too.  Plus I was able to walk, and go on the birth ball, and glider, which made me feel better.  BUT I'm more scared of the pushing/tearing pain.  Have any of you experienced this pain?  Is it worse than contractions?  Is it better/worse the second time around?  Opinions?  Advice?

• 05-08-2009 10:42 AM

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  jenmcdaniels Joined on 04-14-2006 Born 12-13-2006 Keene, NH Posts 43

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact I was with you on these exact same thoughts before delivering my first baby two and a half years ago! I could get through the labor and stuff but I freaked at the thought of the crowning and possible ripping!! I wanted to at least have some sort of pain relief before that! They were preparing to give me some kind of shot down there to help numb me a little before I pushed and then told me it was too late and she was coming! I remember I started crying even though it all happened so fast that I didnt think to much of it! I was sooooooo scared of feeling myself rip...that was my exact thought! I myself felt like the pushing itself was a relief and the contractions were less painful when I pushed....but now onto the tearing fear.....WELL....no pain meds and a natural delivery of a 9 1/2 lb baby girl....AFTER she was delivered and I was watching them clean her up the Dr told me I had second degree tears and that he was going to stitch me up.......I had no idea that I had ripped. Dont get me wrong..I felt that burning as she crowned and all that but I certainly didnt know I had torn...so I think you will be ok :) My tears were so bad they ended up having to bring me down and put me out to finish stitching me up inside and out!! So all in all Mommy....if you want to go with no meds I think you can do it! I plan to go with no meds again this time and I hate pain...so I would say anyone can do it :)

• 05-08-2009 11:35 AM

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  nonconformistmartha Joined on 11-21-2008 Northern VA Posts 1

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact Hey, I'm just lurking from July 08 birth board! I didn't have an epi with DD, but I did get some Stadol (injected into my IV). I tore some, and then they gave me an episiotomy (they cut me). I didn't feel the tearing at all, but I did feel the episiotomy somewhat. It's really not much worse than the contractions themselves, like I barely noticed it because of the painful contractions. If you can handle the pain of contractions, I think you'll be fine with tearing or being cut. Plus, the pain from crowning is so short...once that baby pops out all the pain goes away! I had to push for about a hour...my DD has a big head! Good Luck! You can do it!

• 05-08-2009 3:42 PM

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  NoLongerDesolate Joined on 02-23-2005 North LA Posts 527

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact Hey girl! I'm from your birth board. anyway, to anwer your question: I don't think you will really feel it. I think the fear of it is worse than what it feels like when it actually happens. With my first they gave my shot to numb the perineum and gave me an episiotomy. So, of course, I didn't feel that. With my second I felt it all. I remember more pressure at the rectum than anything else. I had a "superficial" (words of the doc) tear that required just a few stitches. I didn't even know that I had torn. I actually prefer to not be numbed now that I know the difference. I pushed much more efficiently by being able to feel everything.

• 05-08-2009 7:18 PM

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  angela~2DS Joined on 04-05-2005 VA Posts 1,794

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact Really you don't feel it. I had 2nd and 3rd degree tears and with both kids I felt nothing. Nothing at all, except with my first they cut me, that I could feel a little. I'm totally against ever getting that done again since I could feel that while I was healing. But the second time, I felt nothing since it was all on the inside. I felt great after I got sown up, and believe me it took a while(like 45 mins), I push way too hard too fast. My boys were both out in 10 mins of pushing. But I wouldn't change it at all. It wasn't bad last time and I didn't feel the tearing, actually the local hurt more before they sew you up and it's not that bad at all! I know it sounds scary but it really isn't at all. After the baby was out both times I felt great! IT was wonderful.

• 05-08-2009 7:21 PM

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  angela~2DS Joined on 04-05-2005 VA Posts 1,794

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact About contrations and pusing. Contractions only get really bad near transition but nothing that you can't work through and it sounds like you have a great support team to help you. And pusing...oh that is the best part. It doesn't hurt at all, it actually feels really good to push. I think that is my favorite part. No more waiting, it's the end and then it's all over. THe moment the baby is out there is no more pain and you can breathe again and feel so much lighter! Oh I can't wait!

• 05-10-2009 3:04 PM

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  shanane3291944 Joined on 03-13-2009 ozark al Posts 171

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact Contractions are the only thing that really hurt...And each labor is different ive had 4 kids 3 all natural no pain meds and the biggest baby was the least pain..As for pushing and tearing you may feel a little pressure but that about it..Ive had 2 episotomys and i didnt even know they had already started it. I agree when you get to the pushing stage it is a bit of a relief..Your at the end and usually in just a few pushes you will get to see that wonderful joy...However you may want to keep in mind that having a epi does make your labor go faster..But then again that depends on the labor and the person. My shortest labor was 12 hours that was with the epi my longest 23 but then again there were complications with that one..

• 05-10-2009 3:19 PM

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  NoLongerDesolate Joined on 02-23-2005 North LA Posts 527

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact shanane3291944: Contractions are the only thing that really hurt...And each labor is different ive had 4 kids 3 all natural no pain meds and the biggest baby was the least pain..As for pushing and tearing you may feel a little pressure but that about it..Ive had 2 episotomys and i didnt even know they had already started it. I agree when you get to the pushing stage it is a bit of a relief..Your at the end and usually in just a few pushes you will get to see that wonderful joy...However you may want to keep in mind that having a epi does make your labor go faster..But then again that depends on the labor and the person. My shortest labor was 12 hours that was with the epi my longest 23 but then again there were complications with that one.. did you have pitocen with your epidural? The reason that I ask it that, statistically speaking, epidurals alone usually tend to slow labor way down. That's why epis and pit are usually administered together. Oh wait, now I'm confused. Did you mean epi as in episiotomy? Or epi as in epidural? I took that as epidural but now I realize I may be wrong.

• 05-10-2009 10:42 PM

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  bijou_bijou Joined on 03-09-2009 Des Moines, IA Posts 727

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact My epidural didn't work with either of my sons! I felt so cheated. I definitely felt the episiotomy. They had to peel me off the ceiling. The doctor I had -- who I did not like and had never met prior --actually called out for the nurse to get the episiotomy tray -- so I knew it was coming. My experience isn't one to judge by, though... I am a complete wimp. Everything hurt that day -- the IV, the catheter, inserting the epidural. I think my body doesn't react to pain meds... or something? Or they didn't wait for the numbing shots to work? DS1 was 9 lbs., 1 oz., 22". DS2 was 9 lbs., 9 oz....22". I am now pregnant with DS3... and praying my epidural works this time!!!!!

• 05-11-2009 7:12 AM

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  TawniAline Joined on 03-25-2004 Camby, Indiana Posts 699

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact I havent read the replies to this yet.. but.. as far as my answer to this- in my humble opinion- you likely pushed as long as you did BECAUSE of the epi.. i had a 24.5 hour labor and only pushed for 30 minutes... generally pushing is less effective when pain meds are in use.. I had minor tearing- and felt it happening.. but for me.. the pushing was such a relief that I didnt care... and I am glad I could feel it as well as I could- because I really believe if I had pushed in the first position I tried to push in that it would have ripped me to shreds.. i changed positions as soon as I felt like it was going to tear.. and I could feel the tear in my new position.. but it was considerably less intense and so I was not as concerned about it... (I did tear up though.. which really sucked for the next several weeks lol :) ) oh- and the birth ball.. it's a god send :) it really helped me at least through the beginning- showers and following contractions with hot water really helped in the later stages of labor... but.. really.. the pain of tearing for me was not even comparable to contractions.. but I think a lot of it for me was finally knowing I had hit the end of labor.. not being scared that my body wouldnt follow through anymore- knowing they couldnt force me into a c-section anymore etc etc :) i think the relief associated with being almost done is what did it--I had been a little paniced for the last 2 cm because I had started to stall an awful lot (got stuck for 5 hours at one point)... so.. the panicing probably didnt help with the pain of the contractions and probably felt more painful than they needed to... anyway :) hope this helped :)

• 05-15-2009 8:58 AM

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  Cookiethief2 Joined on 12-18-2006 #1 5/17/06 #2 6/11/07 #3 12/18/09 Posts 998

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact I haven't read all of the replies either, but I just wanted to tell my story. It's short, so if you want more details, let me know. :)  I felt myself tear...at the top.  I didn't have an epi, just IV meds and a cervical block(gel) during the last hour. That gel was great, but it was pretty much like an epi. I could feel my legs, but not my uterus or vagina. I was numbed there, which was great because then I didn't feel the pain.  My doctor was great and spent the whole time with mineral oil stretching me and everything, I didn't know I'd torn on the inside until later.  However, as my daughter was crowning I felt some sharp pulling towards the top, the inner labia, I guess, up near my clitoris.  It HURT and I kept telling them that it hurt, but the doc didn't listen. I said, AT THE TOP and I assume he thought I meant at the top of my vagina. I was not in a place to make myself understood and noone seemed to understand or ask me where exactly.  I had a mirror and could see the part that was going to tear every time I pushed and it kept me from pushing hard enough. Once I realized that the baby was coming out, no matter what, but that I needed to push and I needed to do it now, I stared at the ceiling, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and pushed. I felt it rip and it hurt, but once that was over, it was fine. I am due in December and my plan is to do this pain med free, which means that I may feel the rip again.  That part scares me a bit, but I am hoping that it won't be like that. I'm gonna do some research on NOT pushing and just letting my body do what it needs to do, that is supposed to help prevent tearing as it allows you to stretch gently instead of all at once.  Talk to your doctor and see what they'll allow.

• 05-18-2009 11:16 AM

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  NoLongerDesolate Joined on 02-23-2005 North LA Posts 527

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact So I just read something interesting last night in Dr.Sears "The Birth Book." They said they generally a tear/episiotomy is not felt (even if you didn't recieve pain meds) b/c the pressure of the baby's head against the perineum causes a numbing affect. That's why most of us didn't feel a tear. Cookiethief2: I haven't read all of the replies either, but I just wanted to tell my story. It's short, so if you want more details, let me know. :)  I felt myself tear...at the top.  I didn't have an epi, just IV meds and a cervical block(gel) during the last hour. That gel was great, but it was pretty much like an epi. I could feel my legs, but not my uterus or vagina. I was numbed there, which was great because then I didn't feel the pain.  My doctor was great and spent the whole time with mineral oil stretching me and everything, I didn't know I'd torn on the inside until later.  However, as my daughter was crowning I felt some sharp pulling towards the top, the inner labia, I guess, up near my clitoris.  It HURT and I kept telling them that it hurt, but the doc didn't listen. I said, AT THE TOP and I assume he thought I meant at the top of my vagina. I was not in a place to make myself understood and noone seemed to understand or ask me where exactly.  I had a mirror and could see the part that was going to tear every time I pushed and it kept me from pushing hard enough. Once I realized that the baby was coming out, no matter what, but that I needed to push and I needed to do it now, I stared at the ceiling, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and pushed. I felt it rip and it hurt, but once that was over, it was fine. I am due in December and my plan is to do this pain med free, which means that I may feel the rip again.  That part scares me a bit, but I am hoping that it won't be like that. I'm gonna do some research on NOT pushing and just letting my body do what it needs to do, that is supposed to help prevent tearing as it allows you to stretch gently instead of all at once.  Talk to your doctor and see what they'll allow.  Just a suggestion CookieThief: the position you push in can have alot to do with if you tear or not. Laying on the back with you legs pulled back (typical hospital style) is the worst. It makes the perineum taut and as the baby's head starts to push against the perineum and has nowhere to go as it's already pulled taut. does that make sense? An already stretched tight perineum can't stretch more. So it tears. Try pushing in a vertical position such as a squat or even hands and knees. If doc is dead set against you sitting up, then try a side lying position and just pull back the top leg.

• 05-18-2009 8:26 PM

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  ~willowtree~ Joined on 04-29-2009 Posts 287

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact i tore with my first, but apparently not enough for stitches----i think that had more to do with the doctor's "hands off" approach, which is what i wanted. i felt the ring of fire, but not the tear, but maybe that was because i delivered in water? the second, a year and a half later, came out SO much easier. i pushed once or twice, she was even bigger than the first but just came barreling out. and thirty minutes later the midwives said my perineum looked like i hadn't even given birth. that one was in water, too, and i think i am a very lucky woman to have had such "easy" labors. but i really feel like the second time around is a walk in the park compared to that first, unknown, untried passage through the Passage.

• 05-20-2009 9:56 AM

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  BoldBeautifulBirth Joined on 11-08-2005 Puget Sound Area, WA Posts 625

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact I haven't read the responses but... my own experiences were these: First baby - hospital, epidural, demerol, morphine, labored on side/back, pushed on side... 15 hour labor, pushing lasted 15 minutes (13 inch head), no tearing Second baby - hospital, induced with pitocin and AROM, epidural for the last hour, labored on hands and knees until epi, on side/back after epi, pushed in semi sitting... 5 hour labor, pushing lasted 30 minutes (14.5 inch head), no tearing. Third baby - home birth, all natural, no interventions what so ever, labored on hands and knees, on toilet, on side, dangled, standing, walking... and every other position you can think of, haha ... 3 hour labor (including pushing), 1.5 hours of pushing with a malpositioned baby (he was asynclitic, military presentation), no tearing. Had I not been at home and drug free, he would have probably been a c-section. Contraction are no fun, but they aren't the worst thing in the world either. I found that when I was prepared for them, and READY to give birth they were far less painful than the previous two babies I had where I was somewhat scared to give birth because of the pain. The first two times I felt like I had been hit by a truck, especially after the epi - the last time I felt GREAT. I was up taking a shower 1 hour after he was born! Pushing felt GREAT the third time - granted, it took me an hour and a friggin half (long for me!), but it was actually pretty darn short considering his position and presentation. Pushing is wonderful because USUALLY (not always, but usually) your contractions die back a little (instead of 1-2 minutes apart, they'll fall back to 3-5+ minutes apart) giving you time to rest between. I've never torn, so I can't tell you how that feels!

• 05-20-2009 11:18 AM

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  Cookiethief2 Joined on 12-18-2006 #1 5/17/06 #2 6/11/07 #3 12/18/09 Posts 998

  Re: contractions, pushing and tearing, what does it feel like? Reply Contact No longer desolate...Yes, I was in a modified laying down position. It was almost sitting up, but my legs were pulled back.  I do think that that contributed to my tearing and I'm hoping for a squatting or hands and knees position this time.  Last time I know I couldn't have stayed in a squatting or hands and knees position because I was just too exhausted. I hadn't really slept in 3-4 days due to false labor and then 14 hours of true labor.  I'm hoping that it goes better this time...