i have been married a little over four years, and my husband has been verbally, emotionally, and sometimes physically abusive the WHOLE time. we have two children and i'm 3 months pregnant with a third. a few months ago i left for a month, and made some stipulations that he has honored, and then we started living together again.
he got on medication, went to individual and marriage counseling, and got in an accountability relationship through our church. his behaviour has gotten way, way better and i am not afraid anymore. but i feel like it is only behaviour modification; there has been NO recognition or repentance for past behaviour, in fact, he has insisted that _I_ was the physical aggressor, or that i attacked him (by saying, "good morning, would you like some coffee", or some such).
i have been encouraged to give it time since his behaviour got better, let him sort out things for himself. in the meantime, he has been running from one coping mechanism to the next----the last month he has been sleeping ALL the time. i mean, i'm pregnant, and he is in bed twice as much as i am! when i ask him to get up and help me with the kids, he says he "can't". but of course, he doesn't have a depression or anxiety or anger problem.......according to him.
i'm just sick of having to deal with his crap. he does have mental illness issues, but of course won't recognize either them or even what he did in the past, let alone be sorry for it. he is a net loss, i think i'd be MUCH less stressed with him out of the picture. i plan on taking measures to ensure this will be my last pregnancy, and i did so want to enjoy it and feel peaceful during it, unlike the others when i was always trying to run.....
but at this point, i'd be leaving him basically for "sleeping all the time", since his behaviour is generally better, and for not taking responsibility for his past abuse. that seems like kind of petty, at least the sleeping thing does. is this just my hormones talking?