ignore the last posts, shits hit the fan!

• 07-07-2009 7:21 AM

  melonjuice Joined on 07-13-2006 southampton, england Posts 87

  ignore the last posts, shits hit the fan! Reply Contact he lied, he hasn't changed (apart from the drinking). He's been using a second computer built into this one and filled it with porn! a whole variety, 13 year olds, 14 year olds etc. i'm here writing this so that men on this board can be more informed to how this can ruin your wife. I was happy with this pregnancy thinking it was different to the others but now i know, it's just the same, only he's better at telling lies now. I can't describe how hollow and hurt i feel because yet again he's made me into a fool for believing him and feeling guilty for doubting him. I'm now faced with the decision of what to do?! For nearly 4years i've tried to help him even when he literally threw it back in my face, i put up with the violence, bullying, hurt and complete disrespect for me and the kids, so is it time to cut and run?! I don't know. I just wanted him to have changed for the better not the worse. Hx

• 07-07-2009 8:56 AM

  In reply to

  MOM2SNE Joined on 10-30-2008 Elizabeth Marie ~ 12 Aug 09 Posts 1,546

  Re: ignore the last posts, shits hit the fan! Reply Contact melonjuice: For nearly 4years i've tried to help him even when he literally threw it back in my face, i put up with the violence, bullying, hurt and complete disrespect for me and the kids, so is it time to cut and run?! Yes hon, it's time for you to leave.  If he is hurting you physically, emotionally and mentally...it's time to leave.  Pack his stuff and put it on the porch.  Tell him to be on his way.  That's not acceptable behavior and you shouldn't tolerate.  I don't know the gender of your children, but if you have boys and they see their father treating their mother this way and you take it, then they might think it's acceptable.  And if you have girls, they're gonna think it's okay to be treated that way and it's NOT!  You have to think about yourself and those children of yours.  Get out...the sooner the better.  And honestly, if he has child porn on your computer, you need to report it.  That's just disgusting.

• 07-07-2009 9:08 AM

  In reply to

  hopeful_mommy Joined on 04-23-2009 Iowa Due: 12/17/09 Posts 162

  Re: ignore the last posts, shits hit the fan! Reply Contact I dealt w/ my mother being abused my whole life. It really messed up my life in many ways. I had to recieve many years of therapy and I still went through an abusive relationshipo or two of my own before I learned. If your husband has a problem w/ child porn and abusing you and your children you have no choice, for you and your childrens wellbeing, but to leave right away. This may be hard and this will be a struggle but in the long run it will be the best thing for all of you. He obviously needs help and if he is not ready to get that help from a proffessional then it is time to "cut and run". I wish you the best of luck!!!! Things can only get better!!!!

• 07-09-2009 12:40 PM

  In reply to

  hcjfctc Joined on 01-23-2008 Keira Joy born 10/19/2009~Virginia Beach, VA Posts 390	Re: ignore the last posts, shits hit the fan! Reply Contact I haven't dealt with this to such an extent, but I wouldn't suggest a book for you to read to get you started in maybe knowing what to do next and to start healing. It's called Every Heart Restored by Stephen Artenburn. You and your family will be in my prayers!

• 07-11-2009 4:37 AM

  In reply to

  melonjuice Joined on 07-13-2006 southampton, england Posts 87

  Re: ignore the last posts, shits hit the fan! Reply Contact just to let everyone know, i called the police as soon as i found the porn, they checked it all and confirmed it was the first time any of the underaged titles had been viewed and that the videos weren't of underage girls. My husband gave a statement and said that he hadn't watched alot of the videos and that he didn't realise there were any videos titled underage because he just downloads it in bulk and doesn't know exactly what it is until he gets round till viewing it. I believe him, he's never given me any indication of being a sexual threat to me and especially the kids. when me and the police confronted him about what we found he was so hurt and rightfully scared. i can't imagine him ever seeing underage girls as a sexual target but it's just the fact he lied and put us in that situation. Since then he has been so sorry and very careful with me. I really do think it scared him to think he might have potentially downloaded stuff of children, he loves our kids and has never posed a threat to them even when he was drinking. Maybe this was the shock he needed to stop him for good. I'm not defending what he did because it is unexcusable, but a relief it was a false alarm. We've obviously got alot of issues to work on and he has agreed to counselling both for us and him. Thanks for your help and support. H x x x

• 07-14-2009 11:32 AM

  In reply to

  hcjfctc Joined on 01-23-2008 Keira Joy born 10/19/2009~Virginia Beach, VA Posts 390

  Re: ignore the last posts, shits hit the fan! Reply Contact I'm glad that it seems to be something unintentional with the underaged girls. I'll continue to keep you all in my prayers. Porn is a very difficult addiction for men to get over. I would put it right up there with drugs and acohol. I pray that God will get you all through this and that you guys can have an amazing testimony and marriage in the end!