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It's been two weeks and counting...

Last post 07-18-2009 6:50 PM by deemarie1223. 1 replies.
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  • 07-17-2009 2:13 PM

    It's been two weeks and counting...

    Hi-I'm new to the board, and was quite looking forward to watching my baby grow. On June 30, 2009 @ 5:55 a.m., I gave birth to my son Hilton Samuel Green at 14 1/2 weeks. It has been really hard, we didn't see it coming(despite the degenerating fibroid x3) and my husband and I are trying to make it day by day. My husband came with two boys (13 & 9), so this would have been our first child together. I cry all the time, and find that I sit up at night to avoid going to sleep so I don't dream about my son. I thought about discontinuing these updates from parenting weekly until I saw that there were other parents out there that have gone through the same thing we're feeling. Does this get easier? I keep hearing that from people who are watching their children grow everyday...will I eventually stop crying and be able to sleep without needing a pill? This is Hilton's mom...reaching out
  • 07-18-2009 6:50 PM In reply to

    Re: It's been two weeks and counting...

    hello sweetie. my name is dee and i am a mommy to many angels. 5 early m/c, a 22 weeks stillborn daughter (jaide marie), a lost a baby boy just like you at 15 weeks(owyn michael) and my son avery james was born at 32 weeks weighing 3lb15oz and passed away in my arms 6 hrs after birth. i know all too well the feeling you are going through right now. august 3 will be 5 yrs since my last loss (baby owyn) and i just wanted to tell you that it does get easier. you will stop crying, at least every day...you will be able to sleep without help. it is different for everyone in the amount of time it takes, but it does come. ive been "ok" for 2 yrs. the first 3 yrs after my last loss i was a mess. i had two losses 11 months apart in 03 and 04. i was in a very deep, dark place in my life and i had no idea how to get out of it, and i didnt even know if i wanted to. not only did my heart ache for my babies, but i felt like a failure as a woman. i couldnt do the one job i was supposed to do in life! it devestated me! i do have one son, whos ten now....and even he wasnt enough at the time. but someway, somehow, one day in 07 i found a beautiful butterfly on the side of the road with its wings broken, and i helped it out. at the moment my life changed. i had lost everything i had after my losses, my car, my home...everything! i knew i had to get it together and fast. i started with baby steps and eventually i stopped laying in bed, stopped crying, started letting myself enjoy the beautiful things in life again. and now im pregnant again and deathly scared, but hopeful. you will always carry that heavyness in your heart and a tiny piece of your heart will always be missing, up in heaven with yous son, but it will get better. the old saying that time heals all is very true....so take this time, all that you need, and when the time is right you will too, start to see the beautiful things and smile again:) Good luck hun, you and your angel will be in my prayers tonite
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