Who to tell, who to lean on...

• 10-28-2009 3:57 PM

  nbennwife Joined on 02-02-2006 California Posts 13

  Who to tell, who to lean on... Reply Contact I have found that now I have decided to go with a HB, I am hesitant to tell too many people.  I fear that I will have people, (Ahem, Mom) telling me what a bad choice I am making.  Or I will have people just turn away in general. I am a strong person and when I put my mind to something, I do it.  Hands down, no questions asked.  However, I want to have a good support group and knot have to constantly defend MY DH and MY choices.  Aside from that fact that we both have medical training, and specific childbirth traing because of our careers.  This will be our 4th baby and we would never do anything to harm our kiddos. The next "concern" I have is that if I tell people we are planning on a HB, I will have everyone bugging me to be there.  How do you keep people at arms length.  I have a really pushy family.  AND, my in laws just moved in with us beacuse my FIL has end stage prostate Ca.  Because of all of the medical bills and how sick he is they lost their home and needed help to care for him.  My MIL is SOOOO excited and keeps asking what she will be able to do during the birth...and I just want to say "leave..."  How do I kindly say to her that I would like her to just leave me be and stay out of anywhere I am while in labor?  (Mind you, my MIL is THE greatest woman I know and one of my best friends...I just don't want her there while i labor, etc.) I have no problem with having people there when I deliver...but I prefer to choose who specifically i want and not just have everyone assume they can be there. Anyway...these are just a few of the concerns I have been having.  I have not told anyone in my family we have been trying so you girls being a sounding board helps alot! How did you all deal with or are you dealing with these type of situations?

• 10-28-2009 7:26 PM

  In reply to

  NoLongerDesolate Joined on 02-23-2005 North LA Posts 527

  Re: Who to tell, who to lean on... Reply Contact I've never had a HB but I figure I'd be facing the same thing u are. My fam would be trying to talk me out of it, including my dh. My suggestion is don't tell them til u have to. If asked about ur birth plans, just give them a vague answer like "we're still thinking about it." As far as the MIL issue, I would probably just lead her (and everyone else) to believe that u don't want anyone in there except dh. Then when u are in labor u can invite whomever you want as u feel ready. If u never feel ready that's fine too. That way nobody will have expectations. Explain to them now ur need for privacy. They'll just have to understand or get glad in the same pants they get mad in.

• 10-29-2009 4:36 PM

  In reply to

  My3Honeys Joined on 11-14-2005 Arizona Posts 453	Re: Who to tell, who to lean on... Reply Contact You could always turn it into a joke when people ask you if they can be there. Simply say, we've decided that the only people we want in the room for the delivery are the ones that were in the room when the baby was made.  Say it with a HUGE smile on your face and in your voice and it should shut them down fairly quickly.

• 11-01-2009 11:47 AM

  In reply to

  NoLongerDesolate Joined on 02-23-2005 North LA Posts 527	Re: Who to tell, who to lean on... Reply Contact LOL! YES! that would be great too!